AIBU to ask for advice, DM debt in my name

(29 Posts)
LouBlue1507 Thu 03-Nov-16 20:09:14

Hi Ladies

I'm really annoyed at both myself and my DM. I know I was probably stupid and naive and it's my own fault...

4 years ago I stupidly agreed that my DM could apply for a catalogue as she couldn't afford Xmas for my DB and DS. My DF had very nearly died earlier that year with sepsis and was out of work, they had no money.
I felt so sorry for them all and just wanted to help. I was only 20 at the time and didn't think how it would affect me getting a mortgage in the future etc. She told me she had spent £700, I was fine with that, and that she was making the monthly payments. All good.
I've just checked my credit score online and the report has shown my DM has a balance of £1560 on the catalogue account! I'm shocked!
It's fairly obvious that she's been spending more than what we agreed. Credit limit has gone from £1000 to £5000 and that's worrying!

I'm angry at DM but mostly at myself! How do I broach this with DM? I know she won't see the problem as she's 'making the minimum payments and is never late' but it's affecting my credit score! Me and DP have recently had DD and want to buy a house hopefully next year!

Stupid, stupid, stupid!!!

sad

LIZS Thu 03-Nov-16 20:13:31

She could have only bought £700 of goods but owe that amount. If she didn't pay things off quickly interest accrues. She may have paid the minimum monthly but that may not have been sufficient to reduce the debt itself. Can you afford to pay it off?

rumpelstiltskin43 Thu 03-Nov-16 20:18:55

Well if the account is in your name surely you can close it, or at least freeze it do nothing else can be charged.

LouBlue1507 Thu 03-Nov-16 20:19:18

It could be interest but they did get a few weeks after that Xmas... I didn't think anything of it!
I can afford to pay it off, I've got £1500 in my savings. But do I pay it off and risk DM not paying me? I don't want to rock the boat sad She is a good DM, I don't want to upset her!

GrinchyMcGrincherson Thu 03-Nov-16 20:20:46

You need to talk to your mum. Tell her that it's too high and not what you agreed. Ask her to please keep paying it off and not to increase it again. You need to do this calmly and stating exactly why. Then hope she carries on paying it.

As it is in your name you do damage control now. You can call the company and ask them to lower the limit to the current balance and not to increase it again without your express authorisation. Make sure there is a password on the account that your mum doesn't know so she can't ring up and pretend to be you, just in case. You can then keep an eye on the account either through statements online or paper or via your credit score. Keep lowering the limit as it gets paid off.

If you can afford to pay off some chunks you could do that and ask you mum to owe you, this saving the interest (which will be insane)

What's been happening to the statements? You can check them online probably if you want to see the history.

Limit the damage now before Christmas comes.

tupperwareAARGGH Thu 03-Nov-16 20:21:37

Just close the account so your mother can not buy anymore.

LIZS Thu 03-Nov-16 20:22:07

She already owes you. Sit her down and explain that the amount owed isn't getting smaller, so you need to act now. Can she pay any of the balance off? You need to ensure she doesn't order anything else.

GrinchyMcGrincherson Thu 03-Nov-16 20:24:38

You could also say you found out it's creeped up and assumed it's because of the stupid interest. Maybe say you are worried about her paying so much and about how it could affect you if it spirals. You could offer to pay it off and have her owe you so the debt is cleared quicker and she saves the interest,.

Astro55 Thu 03-Nov-16 20:25:29

If it's being paid there won't be much of an issue - but it will need to show as an out going sum in calculations

Fluffy24 Thu 03-Nov-16 20:28:00

Is it definately damaging your credit score? If she is making the payments then it may be doing no harm (indeed if it's the only credit account 'you' have then it might be of benefit that you are accumulating a good history.

Why did you need to look at your credit report to find out the balance and credit limit, if it's in your name are you not getting the statements?

I think you should suggest that you pay off the account and she pay you each month - then at least you have control. If you don't want to rock the boat tell her you are trying to reduce your credit to improve your mortgage chances so would rather pay off the card and have her pay you back directly.

TataEs Thu 03-Nov-16 20:28:04

tell her the truth.

you are looking to get a mortgage next year and you went online to check your score and this has shown as an issue.

find out if she's spent more or if it's interest. if she has spent more you could call the company and explain u want to put a block on any further spending. they should do this.

if it's interest then u could offer to pay it off for her and arrange for her to repay to u instead at the same rate minus the interest. she might be scared of how it's snowballing and be relieved to resolve it.

mum11970 Thu 03-Nov-16 20:30:13

Close the account now. Things can only get worse with Christmas looming again.

Allthewaves Thu 03-Nov-16 20:32:15

Talk to your mum. I'd be tempted to pay off catalogue with interest free credit card then get your mum to make payments to the card (keeping card yourself)

Allthewaves Thu 03-Nov-16 20:33:02

And close catalogue immediately

MollyRedskirts Thu 03-Nov-16 20:33:44

I think if she's a good mum, she won't want to do anything that would jeopardise your getting a mortgage, but like lots of people, at the moment I bet she hasn't got a clue that it could affect your chances.

Just talk to her. If she's paid off the account regularly and not missed any payments so far, then she's not likely to miss any now - but of course if she does, it will affect your credit rating. You'd be in a better position if you paid off the balance in full and got your mum to repay you instead.

LouBlue1507 Thu 03-Nov-16 20:34:43

The statements go to my mums house and she has the account login details etc.
I think I chat is in store. I'll tell her that I don't want anymore spent on it, I'll also try to get the limit reduced!

baconandeggies Thu 03-Nov-16 20:41:04

It'll only be damaging your credit score if she's using up more than 50% of your total available credit across all of your cards and available overdrafts etc. If she's not missed a single payment and you have no other credit lines then 'you've' demonstrated that you can borrow responsibly and this improves your chances.

Be wary of reducing her limit if it means over 50% of the available credit is 'used up' - as this will count against you.

But this misses the point - she went back on her word and borrowed more than she said she would.

You also have to declare all debts as part of your application, and this figure sometimes gets taken off the amount they'll lend you, e.g. if you have a £1500 debt in your name the bank will work out what they'll lend you and then reduce that by your dent amount.

I'd be worried she might miss a payment and then you'd be screwed, especially if your deposit isn't large...

baconandeggies Thu 03-Nov-16 20:44:31

Oh - and don't tell the mortgage company that you've been doing this!

Softkitty2 Thu 03-Nov-16 20:44:32

If its in your name say you have lost details and cancel it.

LIZS Thu 03-Nov-16 20:45:58

If you reduce the credit limit she will feel she can still spend on the account. You need to close it. Change the login details so only you can access it.

QuiteLikely5 Thu 03-Nov-16 20:47:06

There will be no damage to your credit score - infact this debt is likely to have enhanced it!

Your problem will be that you have credit registered at different addresses - if you live apart and try to obtain credit - lenders will wonder about the address

missmollyhadadolly Thu 03-Nov-16 20:55:12

the account needs to be closed so DM doesn't anything else at all, but ideally in a way that allows DM to continue to make the payments.

EweAreHere Thu 03-Nov-16 20:57:37

Pay it off. Close the account. And have your mother pay you back directly in monthly installments.

It's really your only option if you need to get your credit rating back up.

And don't let her do something like that ever again!

AdoraBell Thu 03-Nov-16 20:58:15

Tell them you've moved, so want statements etc sent to new address, want the credit limit reduced right down and want a stop put on any future orders while you pay the debt. Then cancel it as soon you've paid it.

Yes, I know it's your mum's debt, but it's in your name so you need to deal with it yourself to be sure it is dealt with.

Wrinklytights Thu 03-Nov-16 21:16:11

Definitely pay it off and close the account. It will save your Mum money because of the interest and will put you back in control of your own credit rating. Much better she makes a late payment to you than on your credit file.

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