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AIBU?

neighbour opening front door?

56 replies

topaz22 · 03/11/2016 16:59

not sure how to feel. we have just moved into our first house about a month ago.

i just came home from work and noticed there was delivery note saying a parcel was with a neighbour. i thought i'd get it later and went upstairs to get changed and run the bath. i heard someone knocking on the front door but wasn't ready so didn't answer. couple of minutes later i heard the door open so looked to expect dp and saw neighbour stood there!

the previous owners told us he has dementia so i didn't want to go mad but just gave me a big shock Confused im pregnant too so felt abit funny with a stranger coming in. obviously going to keep the door locked from now on.

how would you feel?

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pipsqueak25 · 03/11/2016 17:02

yanbu but did you not lock your front door ? don't understand how he would just be able to walk in ?

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legotits · 03/11/2016 17:03

Get a chain and a strong brew.

No harm done, at least he wasn't naked too. Grin

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GladAllOver · 03/11/2016 17:04

I'd feel very relieved that it was only a neighbour who came in after I'd left the door unlocked while having a bath.

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ByeByeLilSebastian · 03/11/2016 17:05

I'd feel ok I think. He has dementia so can't really blame him.
Keep your door locked from now on?

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topaz22 · 03/11/2016 17:05

pip the door was unlocked as i was just waiting for dp to get home - i know now to always lock!

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Gramgram · 03/11/2016 17:05

I felt very alarmed when my dear father passed away. I had been informed by the police and went with them to his house. A few minutes after the Policeman left, and we were taking stock of what needed to be done, we heard a knock followed by someone opening the door and letting themselves in. DH ran to the hall and found Dad's neighbour checking up on us. I felt sort of violated, and soon learnt to lock the outside doors if I didn't want her to intrude.

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witsender · 03/11/2016 17:07

Tbh it wouldn't overly bother me as we know our immediate neighbours well and never lock the door unless we are in bed or out... It would feel weird locking us in! But yanbu not to like it though, especially if you don't know them well.

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AmeliaJack · 03/11/2016 17:19

It would bother me a lot. I always lock up, especially when I'm in the shower. Anyone could walk in and lift your handbag or car keys.

pip not everyone has a Yale lock. Lots of doors can be opened from the outside unless you actively lock them.

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Nocabbageinmyeye · 03/11/2016 17:20

I always see this on threads about locking the door and surprise it is closed but not locked, lots of people can't lock their doors though, by that I mean people who have kids that play out on the street, too young to give keys to and in and put every ten minutes for a drink/skates/bike/doll, my front door is like a revolving door I couldn't lock it.

Yanbu op, had it been under usual circumstances I would have said outright to never walk in again but given his dementia I appreciate you need to be more sensitive, does he live with someone?

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ChicRock · 03/11/2016 17:21

I'd feel a bit surprised but I'd chalk it up as a lesson learned and always lock the door in future.

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LyndaNotLinda · 03/11/2016 17:28

Why didn't you go and get the parcel when you got home? He's not the delivery office.

Oh and lock your door. Doesn't your DP have a key?

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Creampastry · 03/11/2016 17:30

Why the hell don't people lock their doors... it's bizarre... you're asking for trouble!

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topaz22 · 03/11/2016 17:31

lynda i wasn't expecting anyone to bring it round. i was going to get it later as i got in early and thought whoever had it might be at work still!

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AlmaMartyr · 03/11/2016 17:32

I've never locked my front door when I'm in and no-one I know does. I've always lived in very safe areas though! Depends what you're used to.

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topaz22 · 03/11/2016 17:32

people saying lock your doors - sorry to not expect strangers to walk into my home. i wouldn't like to live near you if you think opening someone's door is reasonable if it's unlocked

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Chinlo · 03/11/2016 17:33

The police did an initiative in our area last year where they would come and try peoples front doors. If they were unlocked and unchained, they would walk into the house unannounced and do a "good job we're not burglars, hey?" routine.

They walked into my brothers dining room while him and his family were eating dinner!

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NapQueen · 03/11/2016 17:35

It is sensible to take steps to prevent making the lives of burglars easier. Locking your door when you are not in a position to defend yourself or your home of attack is idiotic.

No; they shouldn't just walk in and no; and unlocked door isn't an invitation to burgle. But common sense should tell you that a locked door is more of a challenge for potential threats

Lock your door when you are busy. Dp needs a key.

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NapQueen · 03/11/2016 17:36

not locking your door.

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Arfarfanarf · 03/11/2016 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shovetheholly · 03/11/2016 17:39

My aunt has dementia. She gets intrigued by people's ornaments or animals and if the carer's back is turned, she will walk up their path and try to go in their house. She is completely harmless, but that doesn't stop it being super-alarming for the home owner. Keep your door locked, but don't worry. It's just one of those things!

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kali110 · 03/11/2016 17:49

I'd lock my door, but i don't blame you for feeling this way!
It's sad he has dementia but he still came into your house uninvited and i would feel violated and angry ( and would probably scare the hell out of whoever by screaming the house down. Dp would simply have to give them a dirty look Grin)

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ScaryMonstersandSuperCreeps · 03/11/2016 17:51

Mum and I share a house. When we are here together we keep the back and front door unlocked. When I am here alone I keep both doors locked. This is only a recent thing since a couple a short distance away were murdered. The husband's body was found near the house. The wife's body is still missing! Sad

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Chinlo · 03/11/2016 17:54

i wouldn't like to live near you if you think opening someone's door is reasonable if it's unlocked

It's obviously not reasonable but that's what burglars do!

I grew up in a super safe little village in the home counties and our local bobby still had to go around telling us to keep our doors locked because chancers had been known to quickly nip in and grab laptops or whatever from unlocked houses. Obviously not anybody from the village, but burglars have cars too!

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LyndaNotLinda · 03/11/2016 17:55

No of course you have the right not to expect strangers to walk in but he has dementia. My grandad used to get confused about which house he lived in.

You know now to lock the door. He obviously saw that you'd come home and decided to do a nice (if rather alarming to you) thing and bring you your parcel.

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BipBippadotta · 03/11/2016 17:58

When I was 11 a classmate of mine and his family were murdered by a random crack addict who walked in their unlocked front door intending to rob them.

Locking your door is a fairly sensible thing to do. Otherwise you're just relying on being able to trust passing strangers not to come in as and when they please, regardless of whether it is convenient to you. You're lucky it was just your neighbour, who I think can be excused from normal neighbourly etiquette by his dementia, and who was also trying to be helpful.

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