Feeling hurt and grumpy even though I know I shouldn't

(10 Posts)
Smartieskid Wed 02-Nov-16 23:17:38

Boyfriend has gone out for work drinks tonight and goes out a couple of times a week for them like pub quiz Friday work drinks leaving do I've called time on my relationship with my friend I would of seen when he was out and gone for drinks or had a chat to on the phone while having a nice evening to myself I understand we need time apart but I feel hurt that I've never been invited to any of the drinks before even though people go that have left and other girlfriends or wives go I guess it's because they all no everyone already I'm trying to see other friends but i don't have that many some are at uni other busy and I haven't been out for drinks in ages and he knows that

seven201 Wed 02-Nov-16 23:19:30

Have you asked him why you're not invited? Sounds mean. My husband and I lead very separate social lives but that's because we want to.

Smartieskid Wed 02-Nov-16 23:27:51

He says we don't have to spend all our time together we see each other every night and go for dinner one night then I work Saturdays and we spend Sundays together

Smartieskid Wed 02-Nov-16 23:28:29

If I was out and had a big social life like he didn't I wouldn't find this a problem

lokivonpoki Thu 03-Nov-16 09:59:40

why don't you try and get a better social life then?
ask someone from work if they want to go for a drink or food one night?
I agree with your boyfriend that you don't need to see each other all the time, if you see each other every night, 1 meal per week and then Sundays you can't really take umbrage that he goes out occ with people from work hmm

or next time he says "going out with the work lot next week" just say "ooh can I come along I would like to meet more of your friends"
And see what he thinks

Smartieskid Thu 03-Nov-16 10:35:03

I work with people that are all older than me I do try get out more but I see my friends once a week but he's out every other night and my friends don't have the time to be out every other night

Eevee77 Thu 03-Nov-16 10:40:31

I know it doesn't seem very kind, it sounds like he really appreciates his social life and time out from the relationship. He's right - if you're otherwise always together I can see why he's not to keen on merging these nights out with you.

1-2 nights a week is fine for this but in your subsequent post it's "every other night" which is it? 1-2 a week I'd be fine with. It's sounds like you need to work on yourself. How about making new friends? Could you join a class or a club?

Smartieskid Thu 03-Nov-16 11:46:44

I know I do need to get out more but I don't drive and getting out after work is a lot of hassle with every bus and train running hourly I've always had small load of friends and it's never really been a huge problem but I'm getting envious of his

Bluntness100 Thu 03-Nov-16 11:51:46

I can see why he doesn't invite you. Much as I love my hubby I wouldn't fancy him tagging along to work socials with me, it's simply a different dynamic when partners are there.

So yes, I think uou are being unreasonable. Sorry, go to the gym, join a club, do whatever but it's not ok to be peed off or jealous because your partner has a better social life than you and so expect him to bring you to his work events.

Smartieskid Thu 03-Nov-16 11:57:42

But wouldn't you find it strange that after a year you've met two of his friends 3 times briefly

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