to think I need to leave this job.

(12 Posts)
Buddahbelly Tue 01-Nov-16 10:39:18

First and foremost im self employed full time running my own business, I have a 4 yr old ds who has just started school and live with my dp.

Self employment income has so far been steady, not huge amounts but say part time hour work each month which im happy with as its my firt year and still building it up.

To have a regular income i've been looking for an extra part time job and finally got one a few weeks ago, it was advertised 16 hours which I thought great will be able to do that whilst ds is at school in the mornings, my own business in the afternoon and evenings and everything was fine. Ii got the job though and was told my hour are 4am - 8am 4 days a week. Again I thought id manage ok, go to work, take ds to school, come home sleep for 2 hours, do my own work and go pick ds up. in my head it was ok not what id expected but thought i could manage.

The reality is I'm permanently exhausted, I've had a migraine for 4 days now that I can't shake because my sleep patterns are all over the place, I do suffer badly if i don't get enough sleep so this has made things worse. I just don't think I can do these hours at all, Ive tried, Ive even asked if i could change to days but they said no. Ive been there 2 week and am already struggling. It is meant to end on jan 1st, but i honestly don't think i can make it then, I feel sick constantly with tiredness, I look a mess, my own work has been left (and its coming up to my busiest time of year).

Am I just being a huge let down if i leave, I hate failing and I feel like a complete failure!

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 01-Nov-16 10:54:03

No not you're not failure at all. There is only so much a person can do. No matter who they are. Look at this way, as well. You're self employed and running your own business. Not everyone could do that.
The migraines are your body's way of telling you. You've taken too much on. You have to listen to it

AnthonyPandy Tue 01-Nov-16 10:58:06

Well it was a bit sneaky of them not to tell you the hours upfront. Probably because they knew what your (and anyone's) reaction would be!

minipie Tue 01-Nov-16 10:59:48

It's not a failure at all. Most people would not be able to shift their sleep patterns around to have a very short night and a 2 hour nap, instead of a proper night. I expect most people doing a 4-8 shift either get to bed at 5 or 6pm (which you can't do due to your DS) or sleep all day after their shift (which you can't do if you are trying to do your business). And some people can't manage those schedules either!

I hope you find a job with more normal hours - good luck.

Buddahbelly Tue 01-Nov-16 11:01:42

Thanks for replying anthony they explained it as they had taken on a few christmas temps so the shift patterns would vary for everyone taken on, If i had started earlier i may have had a choice of shifts, but obviously all the decent ones have gone and the oly ones left are the early ones.

I currently work with quite a few people who have taken early retirement, or students. Nobody seems in my position of working elsewhere with a young child, 1 lady i did speak to this week was saying she couldn't have done it with a young child. they put pressure on us to stay later than our hours as it is but i have to get back to take ds to school so think thats already pissed them off a bit.

Buddahbelly Tue 01-Nov-16 11:06:58

minipie yes most of them do go to bed early around 6ish, which I cant always do with ds.

Lesly0411 Tue 01-Nov-16 11:12:23

In my opinion, your baby and your emotions should be a priority. For me, spending time with your child and helping her with school is more important than lots of jobs.
In my head I thought I can work full-time (I'm a doctor) and it would be ok for me and my son (he was 3 by then). But I was wrong, I felt horrible... This article
brutalist.press/posts/9/4-myths-about-motherhood?spread_id=5b8736b6-3f66-47fc-8401-18ce8209956b helped me to understand I'm not worthless if I spend more time with my child.
Being mother is great. And I think having your own business is great. Good luck with your job and family!

Buddahbelly Tue 01-Nov-16 13:37:01

Thankyou lesly0411

I do think in my head I think I can do everything, when in reality Ive ended up super tired, sick, grumpy with everyone around me and making myself miserable. I just hate not being able to do it all, but thats my own complex and not worth everyone around me suffering along too.

redexpat Tue 01-Nov-16 15:39:18

If it doesnt work for you and your family then it is not a reflection on you. The hours do not suit. It really is that simple. If you can afford it then just give notice.

If you really need something have you considered agency work?

isthistoonosy Tue 01-Nov-16 15:54:42

Surely it just comes down to how much you need the money as a family.

DanglyEarOrnaments Tue 01-Nov-16 16:11:03

Buddah as a fellow self-employed person who has built (so far) a mid-sized business with 10 staff on board now (within a few years!) my advice to you would be ditch the employed job and throw your focus into developing your business.

Use the extra time for marketing/promotion and developing your service for the future.

It may take a few months to reap back the income if you invest time in this way but that is how a business grows.

I would honestly ditch this job now and have faith in your ability to attract more work.

altiara Tue 01-Nov-16 16:46:50

Definitely leave asap. Concentrate on you, your family and your business. These hours are making you ill and will ruin your family life and business. You don't owe this company anything so just leave. flowers

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