AIBU to be truly pissed off with neighbour

[Cakedoesntjudge]

Currently awake as neighbour is having extraordinarily loud, moany sex which has woken me up.

This is fairly frequent, on top of me having to listen to her yell obscenities at her pre school child all day long and deal with the fact her and her loud obnoxious friends like to party until 2am every weekend. Before anyone calls me a buzzkill I probably wouldn't be as bothered if it wasn't for the constant noise disturbances in one form or another. Also half an hour of the loud moaning and grunting when I have to be up for the school run tomorrow is taking the piss IMO.

AIBU to currently hoping she gets cursed with a lifetime of misery? (Only half joking)

Have tried reporting her to the council (and SS for how she speaks to her DD) to no avail. Any other ideas? Currently tempted to start moaning loudly through the wall back so she can hear how ridiculous she sounds or just bang on the wall and completely ruin the moment.

[suspiciousdelicious]

Have you tried talking to her. Nicely openly not passive aggressively? Just say this is the problem- this is how it makes me feel- this is what I would like you to do about it- I'm sorry we are having this conversation - I respect you as a human being.

[JenLindleyShitMom]

Record her noises then hook your phone up to a speaker, push it up to the wall and play her own noises back at her tomorrow morning on a loop while you're out on the school run.

[Cakedoesntjudge]

Yeah she's not a very reasonable person. I did originally go over before putting in any complaints as one night I woke up to her screaming at her DD for waking her up and she then burst into tears (the DM) and was shouting at her that she couldn't go on like this. I did really feel for her, she went absolutely crazy at me and continued being awful but also used to shout things about me to DD (e.g. "If you don't shut the fuck up that fucking interfering bitch next door will get involved" - would like to clarify that I never had an issue with the daughter crying, I have an issue with DS (6) hearing language and aggression such as she displays regularly). I'm not great at confrontation and found her incredibly threatening so haven't bothered trying again. I have banged on the wall a couple of times when it's got particularly bad.

A friend has just suggested I play some cheesy romantic music loudly which did make me chuckle.

I am debating getting ear plugs for night time but my worry with that is DS is not the worlds best sleeper and I'd worry I wouldn't hear him on the nights he wakes up. I'm sure he'd come get me anyway but a tap on the shoulder at night would scare me half to death!

[Cakedoesntjudge]

Jen would be very tempted to do a Harry met sally recreation if I ever actually saw her leave the house!

[suspiciousdelicious]

That's horrible. Ring the police. Keep doing it until she gets an asbo. I know it's tedious but it's your only option. No to earplugs. What if there's an emergency? I wanna throw crisp wrappers in her garden and piss on her doorstep, but that's how I got my asbo. Xxx

[Ptolemy123]

Somebody I knew had this go on for ages. Their neighbour didn't care even though they'd tried to speak to them about it politely, in the end they started opening their window and repeating the noises really loudly back at them. They stopped soon after.

[GrumpyInsomniac]

We have one neighbour who is particularly vocal in this regard and is clearly faking it. She's mostly been a nuisance on hot summer nights when we all have windows open. Last time, one neighbour shouted "encore" while a few others applauded. She's been quiet since.

[juls1888]

A neighbour of ours used to do this and again there was no reasoning with her. My DH resorted to playing "Sexual Healing" and "Gangbang" from Rita, Sue and Bob Too.....still didn't stop the grubby bizzum either but it made us laugh rather than retching at her sex noises

[Pandakin]

I recommend the crazy frog, a most beautiful song racket that will really help set the mood for them. That or a loud round of applause soundtrack.

[Cakedoesntjudge]

You lot have absolutely cracked me up and given me some fab ideas so thank you

I also assume my neighbour is of the faking it brigade considering it was at the same volume constantly for half an hour with no crescendo so to speak. Either that or she's having much better sex than I've ever had! My favourite part was him leaving straight after and slamming the door. Their consideration for neighbours is touching!

Dickhead neighbours are the worst. If she does it again tonight I'll report back as to which method I've tried first

[Discobabe]

Oh definitely mimic each moan as she does it. Hopefully it will put them right off

[Mummyme1987]

Just shout she's faking it each time!

[IMissGrannyW]

Can you find out where the ch go to school and speak to them? I understand why SS hasn't taken this up - what you've described isn't severe enough for it to meet their threshold. But safeguarding children comes in lots of forms, and the school may be concerned about them for other reasons, in which case you'd add weight and give an additional insight.

If you can find out where they go to school, make an appointment with the Head and share your worries. Make it not about any inconvenience to you, but concern for the children. Don't expect the Head to share back with you anything THEY are worried about, but it might help tip the balance if the school are already concerned.

[Cakedoesntjudge]

I didn't make it about an inconvenience to me either time I reported it, it is hard to live with but it's mainly because it breaks my heart every time for the little girl involved. It's horrible to listen to. It gives me chills and sets me on edge, god knows how it makes a young child feel.

That would be a good idea except the child isn't at school yet. She does sound like she must be of an age to start next year so I will keep that in mind for the future though, thank you :)

I knew when I reported it to SS they wouldn't be able to help. I know they'd probably like to but I also know how overstretched they are and how hard it is to prove. I just felt at my wits end and I genuinely think she could benefit from anger management or a parenting course. I've heard her at other times playing and giggling with DD, so I don't think she's an awful parent, I just think she reacts badly when her buttons are pushed.

I have debated logging it with 101 each time which the council suggested but the problem is that although the outbursts at her DD are frequent through the day, they only last 10/15 minutes at a time. By the time the police got there it would be done with.

An event recently where the police were called and there was a big argument out the front led me to believe they are known to the police (I realise I sound like the noisiest neighbour ever, I'm really not, it was first thing in the morning and I was still in bed and they were stood out the front and I keep my window open a bit overnight). The policeman made a couple of comments such as "I told you this last time" and "nice to see you again, though I hope next time we don't meet under similar circumstances" so I wondered if, in future, it would be worth logging it. The incident they were called for was not to do with the welfare of her child but maybe if the family are known to the police they'd have already established some concerns.

[Jaytee38]

I cant stand the council they will do anything to get out of dealing with things themselves.Partly because if the poor structure of the building you hear everything and i need earplugs every night.

With regards to the noisy neighbour you can call 101 and get log numbers. But ive found the councils out of hours team that deal with noise complaints to be the best. The last tennant here was awful but all of other tenants in block reported evertime she broke the lease. The pets kept in property illegally. My neighbour recorded the 3am parties and the screaming and shouting. We then reminded the landlord of their duty of care to the other 5 and we got her out. It's hell when you have inconsiderate neughbours

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Please do log with 101 especially the shouting at her dd. You and she shouldn't have to put up with this vile woman. I think talking to the dds school would also be a good idea. Anything to make this woman more subdued for all of you would be fab.