Another MIL thread...!! Leaving 4 yr old alone in ice cream shop

[carolineal]

So MIL has been great and had our 4 yr old daughter all of this week during the day as she is on half term and we both work full time. MIL has taken DD to her swimming course every day and they've had a really fun time doing lots of stuff in town every day.

When I picked up DD yesterday she told me that Granny had left her alone in the ice cream shop whilst she nipped back home to drop off the wet swimming stuff. I asked her who was supposed to be looking after her and she said that Granny had asked the ice cream shop staff to look after her whilst she was gone for 10 mins.

AIBU to be a bit cross about this? I know that the shop staff were keeping an eye out for her but its not their responsibility and DD is only 4. I feel bad for being cross about it after everything else MIL has done this week but bloody hell - that's my daughter being left alone in a town for 10 mins. Anything could have happened - doesn't really bear thinking about.

I haven't broached the subject with her, DH was going to talk to MIL this morning when he dropped DD off. No doubt when MIL was younger, she probably did leave DH alone in a shop in the village they lived in in the Borders but we are talking 30 years ago and times have changed massively and you don't just leave a 4 year old alone in a shop whilst you nip home (slowly as she's not that agile!!) to drop the swimming stuff off!!!

[cerealnamechangers]

I would check the story with mil first before you go storming in all guns blazing as four year olds aren't exactly the most accurate and reliable people in the world are they?

[DearMrDilkington]

4yr olds have quite the imagination. Laugh about what she said to your mil and see her reaction before you stress too much.

[DearMrDilkington]

Also you can't honestly believe someone working in a ice cream shop in the busy half term would say they would watch a random 4yr old surely?

[Maraschinocherry]

I would check what exactly happen first. I would be absolutely fuming, and would never leave my child with her ever again, unless she actually knew the shop assistant as a friend. I don't care if it sounds like I am over reacting, I don't even leave my 4 yo in a cafe alone if I go in the toilets!

[Qwerdy1234]

Ask her.

[carolineal]

DH just said he talked to her about it this morning. DD was totally correct in her story unfortunately. MIL apologised and apparently has got the message that she is not to leave her granddaughter with strangers. Hopefully she will think again before leaving her on her own in the middle of town. MIL wouldn't have thought she was doing anything wrong and she is pretty great with DD so perhaps I now need to let this slide.

[Morporkia]

YANBU.. as it's half term i imagine the ice cream parlour was reasonably busy, and the staff wouldn't be able to watch over her constantly.. she is 4 years old ffs!
my MIL did something similar with my DD when she was about 6, left her in a sports hall while her DD was at gymnastics class...and went shopping! DD was distraught and was adamant she didn't want to go to stay with nanny anymore...so she didn't.
i would have a word and explain you are very unhappy with your DD being left alone and that if she is unable to look after her you will make alternative arrangements.

[Sceptimum]

Speaking as ex-shop staff who worked in a games store, I used go mad when people tried to drop off kids and expected us to mind them for a bit - especially as they would tell the child, but not us, and run off. If something did go wrong, what did they expect us to do, with no contact details and a child we didn't even know the name of. Argh.

Back on point, I would ask your MIL what happened before worrying about what to do, 4 year olds are pretty hazy on details by the end of the day.

[Comedyusername]

I wouldn't like this either. But if she knows now not to do it again, I'd let it go. Thankfully no harm was done.

[autumnintheair]

I don't even leave my 4 yo in a cafe alone if I go in the toilets!

I dont either - not anywhere

[Pickled0nions]

At least she has been honest and is more aware now for next time.
It's wrong it happened in the first place, but I would be more pissed if MIL totally denied it. Which my MIL often used to do whenever we had concerns, my daughter doesn't see her anymore.

I do think you should give your MIL another chance now she realises

[Chinlo]

MIL wouldn't have thought she was doing anything wrong and she is pretty great with DD so perhaps I now need to let this slide

100%. So often the follow-up on these kinds of threads is "MIL denied everything, accused us of being liars, we all hate each other now", etc. etc. But in this case, she was honest about it and like you said, she probably didn't think about how times have changed. It's been a long time since she was the carer of a 4 year old, right? Lesson learned, everything is fine, you can move on and forget about it.