To want my birthday food gifts to be unopened?

(86 Posts)
WorkingBling Wed 26-Oct-16 22:02:49

I got some fancy hot chocolate as a birthday gift to go with another food gift. Of course I would share it with the family but aibu to raise an eyebrow when I got home to discover that dh and ds had opened it and tried some today? I didn't freak out or yell or anything but I was a little surprised that at the very least the first mug would include me?

Am I just a selfish cow? Dh thinks so and is basically not talking to me now. Should I be apologising?

misskatamari Wed 26-Oct-16 22:05:53

shock YANBU! Cheeky sods! I'd be really annoyed if someone opened and ate/drank a gift I had been given without me saying it was okay. It's just plain rude!

MangoBiscuit Wed 26-Oct-16 22:09:12

Very cheeky of them.

LegoCaltrops Wed 26-Oct-16 22:09:12

YANBU at all. In our house, presents are sacrosanct & only the recipient may offer to share them around (which we usually would do) - but the point is it's specifically not for general use.

ipswichwitch Wed 26-Oct-16 22:10:41

Of course you shouldn't be apologising! I take it your DH would be perfectly happy with you helping yourself to his birthday presents before he's even got chance to have a try himself? Somehow I doubt it. He's being an arse. I hate shit like that; he's got some cheek getting himself in a mood and not talking to you, because he scoffed your hot chocolate without asking and even waiting for you. Has your DS apologised?

Allalonenow Wed 26-Oct-16 22:11:34

Very thoughtless of them to open and use your gift, I'd be upset too.
Next time make sure you have packed it away somewhere safe.

WorkingBling Wed 26-Oct-16 22:13:33

He says he wouldn't think twice if I opened a box of his chocolates. I have no way of checking this as I would never do it.

Ds is 5 so am not expecting him to understand! smile

ToadsforJustice Wed 26-Oct-16 22:14:43

This would give me the rage. Your DH is a prize arse. He knows he shouldn't touch your present and so he is making you feel guilty. What a selfish twat. Is he always this insensitive?

FV45 Wed 26-Oct-16 22:15:08

I suspect he is feeling guilty and trying to turn it back onto you.

YANBU

Pestilence13610 Wed 26-Oct-16 22:15:09

Don't apologise, send him to Whittards or somewhere similar and make him buy you a new pack. As mum you know the bastards are going to eat, drink it for you, but you should be the one to open it and have first taste.

Allalonenow Wed 26-Oct-16 22:19:56

He knows he is in the wrong, that's why he is having a sulk. grin

AmeliaJack Wed 26-Oct-16 22:21:17

I'd be pretty annoyed too.

It's polite to wait to be offered.

Shesgotelectricboobs Wed 26-Oct-16 22:24:21

Dh broke into my chocolate reindeer last Christmas because he'd eaten his. I broke his face was not happy

LilyInBlue Wed 26-Oct-16 22:26:50

Yanbu

Someone started on my birthday cake without me actually being there once, I still being it up every year!

LilyInBlue Wed 26-Oct-16 22:27:07

*bring

Cherrysoup Wed 26-Oct-16 22:29:15

My dh would never do the. He'd expect some, because we always share, but opening a gift when you rent there is fucking rude.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Wed 26-Oct-16 22:31:16

YANBU!

DS can be forgiven for asking for some (if he did), as he is only 5 but DH's response should have been "no, that's mummy's birthday present, we should wait and ask her when she gets home". Or words to that effect.

Otherwise, how is it your present?

MulberryBush12 Wed 26-Oct-16 22:31:22

YANBU in the slightest.
That is just plain rude - he should have waited until you offered to share your present.
Keep it hidden next time!

mysistersimone Wed 26-Oct-16 22:31:25

Not on at all. When i was younger and my dad would buy me and my sister a magazine each I'd go batshit if she read it before me. I thought it was an unwritten rule a gift belongs to the recipient and they control it's use. DH owes you big time

Stormwhale Wed 26-Oct-16 22:31:40

I think that it would appear that what is yours actually belongs to the family/is part of the home. That's pretty shit. It has just been absorbed into the family property rather than being something that is yours. I wouldn't be happy with that.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Wed 26-Oct-16 22:33:27

And, yes, I would always share something like that. I wouldn't even mind if somebody asked me "erm, do you think you're going to open that today? If you are, can I have some?"

But asking is a million miles from just taking it when you're not there isn't it?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Wed 26-Oct-16 22:35:16

He did what now?! HIBVVVVVVVVVVU.

How very dare he. Seriously. He needs to replace your present and learn some respect. Birthday presents are the sole property of the birthday person. Full stop. If you offer to share, that is very kind of you, but it remains yours. And sharing once does not imply an intention or willingness to share the same item a second time.

carmenta Wed 26-Oct-16 22:35:34

Well now he knows that you and he have different views on how food-based presents should be treated.

Neither his view nor yours is the "right" way, because there isn't a "right" way. So it's irrelevant what he would like done with his presents, this is your present.

He should apologise for opening your present and he should apologise for overreacting.

TheFormidableMrsC Wed 26-Oct-16 22:36:42

LTB.

Needfinsnow Wed 26-Oct-16 22:37:32

I really wouldn't care tbh!! It was prob your child that wanted it and "d"h agreed. Light n up! It's only hot chocolate!

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