To be a bit judgey about these parents?

(60 Posts)
FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname Mon 24-Oct-16 12:38:23

Last night Dp and I went to an event with some of his friends.

Said event was being held at the next big city, so a 2+hr drive there and back.

A few of the people we went with decided to bring their kids along, which would be fine and fair enough except for the fact that the event in question was being held until late at night, outside in the rain and cold, with literally nothing for the kids to do. It was not a child friendly kind of event at all, all of the kids were under 5, one was only about 6 months.

By the end, just before we left, one of the mothers (who I didn't know) was just shouting at the kids to be quiet and stop fighting because they were so bored they were just lashing out at each other.

Aibu to be a bit judgey about them taking their kids along to this event? I mean I'm all for living your life and not stopping everything you enjoy just because you have kids but I really felt that this event was not the right place for such young kids to be and the parents should have either gotten a babysitter or just not gone. Aibu?

myownprivateidaho Mon 24-Oct-16 12:39:27

Hard to tell without knowing what the event was.

PinkyOfPie Mon 24-Oct-16 12:40:31

What was the event?

WorraLiberty Mon 24-Oct-16 12:41:39

Yes YABU.

I went to lots of events I wasn't interested in as a kid and lots that I was.

All part of growing up.

Stormwhale Mon 24-Oct-16 12:41:56

Yanbu.

DixieWishbone Mon 24-Oct-16 12:45:13

Sometimes parents make a mistake and take children along because they misjudge what the event will be like. Maybe those parents had visions of the children happily running around outside and forgot it was likely to be wet.

Or they couldn't find a baby sitter.
Or the sitter let them down at the last minute.

GettingitwrongHauntingatnight Mon 24-Oct-16 12:48:07

I recently booked tickers to something I thought my older dcs would like but wouldn't leave ds age 3 behind. Thought he may or may not like.

SaucyJack Mon 24-Oct-16 12:49:16

Maybe they had nothing else to do, and thought getting out of the house for whatever reason would be pleasant?

I'm sure we've all done it as parents.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Mon 24-Oct-16 12:55:15

What Worra said, as usual. Part of being in a family is that you do family stuff. Sometimes it's what you like, sometimes it's not.

ppeatfruit Mon 24-Oct-16 12:58:54

If you're under one year old? Worral

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname Mon 24-Oct-16 12:59:18

But it wasn't a family event Lying. It was a car show. Basically consisted of a load of adults walking around looking at cars and talking about cars in a huge car park in the cold, dark and rain. And revving their engines, playing stupidly loud music, driving around etc. As I said, not really a child-friendly environment.

Dixie, it was raining when we left. Even if it hadn't been raining it still would have been dark and cold with nothing for the kids to do. I especially didn't like the fact that the 6 month old baby had no coat or socks on.

Surely if the sitter let them down/they couldn't find a sitter you would just accept that you have to change your plans and either not go or one of the couple stay at home with them? It was not a life or death event that had to be attended.

Zaphodsotherhead Mon 24-Oct-16 12:59:31

It depends. Did they have anyone they could have left the kids with? When I was a single mum, the kids had to come anywhere I went out of school hours, so doctors appointments, hairdressers, events, etc. If they couldn't come, I couldn't go. I should think they were probably bored to tears sometimes, but there was no choice.

witsender Mon 24-Oct-16 13:00:58

As long as they were suitably dressed for the weather, and this wasn't something totally unsuitable like the film set of a new porn film or something then yabu.

ppeatfruit Mon 24-Oct-16 13:04:00

YANBU. It's not so bad if the dcs had half term today. But it seems thoughtless to me, poor little baby, and i would judge too!

moomoo222 Mon 24-Oct-16 13:05:04

Totally depends on what the event was?

I have always taken my kids along to stuff - they are really adaptable, sociable and generally well behaved and sometimes we do stuff that is all about them, sometimes they tag along to stuff that is more for us. We are a family, that's it really - if we only took them to kids stuff and palmed them off whenever something wasn't all about them I think it would give them a skewed set of expectations.

A bit of cold and rain isn't going to do any harm if they are wrapped up & a late night is usually an adventure for a child as long as they are warm and fed and cared for, shouting not great though obviously!

Mrscog Mon 24-Oct-16 13:06:06

Um, I think YABa bit U. Especially about the baby - in my experience they are much more tolerant of things out of the ordinary than toddlers. I wouldn't have taken a 1-4 year old out late though, it would have been hell!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Mon 24-Oct-16 13:06:16

Mmm, Fedup I would say that perhaps it wasn't ideal and maybe one or other parent could have stayed at home with any/all of the kids. Kids though, from my experience, like going to new places and are all enthusiastic at the start... ending with crying, fighting, complaining when they're had enough by which time it's too late to change plans and you either suck it up or miss whatever it is.

I remember being taken to air shows as a family because my dad liked them. I didn't, too loud and noisy. Aged 0-8. Younger brothers in tow also.

I remember being taken to watch Star Wars, which I have HATED my life long aged 9... because my mum and brothers wanted to go and I wasn't to be left at home in my rocking chair with Enid Blyton. I have still not forgiven my mother for this. I don't remember doing any Lying-centric (that sounds odd!) things to make up for it either...

JockTamsonsBairns Mon 24-Oct-16 13:07:37

My Dc's have been to car shows before and absolutely loved them. That's during the day though. What would be the point of a car show in the dark?

It's totally possible that these parents just misunderstood what would be involved in the car show. It's highly unusual for a car show to only involve looking at cars - there would normally be loads of other stuff going on, all quite geared up for families. YABU

Chinlo Mon 24-Oct-16 13:09:36

Agreed with witsender. Being dragged to boring places your parents want to go and you hate is part of childhood. For us it was National Trust estates. YAWWWN

Mishmashpotatoes Mon 24-Oct-16 13:10:17

I don't see how a car show isn't a family event...

My DD is in her element at car shows and has been to loads.

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname Mon 24-Oct-16 13:12:37

I don't know Zaphod, maybe, maybe not. None of the people with the kids were single though, they were all in couples so at least one of them could have stayed with the kids.

I know exactly what it is like being a single parent with no support and no one to leave the kids with. That is fair enough and totally understandable with things like doctors, dentists etc. But a completely optional hobby event that is very much an adult occasion?

They weren't really suitably dressed either, the girls all had 'fashion' coats (eg; fabric, not waterproof), the baby had no coat at all. None of them had hats, gloves, etc. I'm an adult, and I was wearing several layers, a waterproof coat and gloves and I was cold. The kids therefore spent most of their time bored in the car.

Jock, I have been to many car shows that are all day events, with plenty of activities and very geared up for families. This was not one of those occasions, it was basically an excuse for car guys to turn up and show off their cars to each other by revving the shit of them/blasting their sound systems/racing around the car park. In the dark.

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname Mon 24-Oct-16 13:13:19

It was more of a meet up than an actual show tbh.

JoJoSM2 Mon 24-Oct-16 13:15:27

I can't see a problem with taking children to a car show.

MatildaTheCat Mon 24-Oct-16 13:15:51

Sounds bloody awful but why shouldn't parents sometimes get to go on an outing that is more for them than the DC? The baby with no socks or jacket is completely different and no, on the face of it thats not ok.

I wouldn't have gone ( even if it appealed) because I hate being with bored, squabbling children but each to their own.

pregnantat50 Mon 24-Oct-16 13:16:00

Poor little mite without a coat or socks, thats the bit that has got to me. Yes its OK to take your little ones out and about with you to events, but not if it means they are going to be unsuitably dressed, at 6 months old the baby had no choice but to be cold and uncomfortable, no wonder he was crying, bless him

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