To ask for party Invite

[NoooorthonerMum]

My daughter has just started reception with quite a small class of 20 kids. The parents have a fairly active email thread, asking about missing book bags and birthday parties etc. One of the mums sent round an email to the whole group a while ago about her daughter's birthday party letting us know when it would be as she said she was being disorganised with invites.

I happened to find out since then that the invites have now been sent but I haven't got one for my DD. I'm wondering if it would be outrageous to contact the mum privately and ask if DD is invited.

I definitely don't want to force her into inviting my DD if her DD didn't want her there but OTOH if the invite was missed by accident, or I just lost it I don't want DD to miss out. Wouldn't it be odd of her to send the email round to everyone if not all the DC's were going to be invited? It's a small class and they'll all be talking about it at school after the party. My DD is very young socially and is having trouble making friends so I'm really keen for her not to miss out if poss.

[Squiff85]

I would email her directly and say something like "sorry to ask but I know you mentioned a party, honestly no issue if she isn't invited but wanted to ask incase it had gone missing"

YANBU to want to know!

[seminakedinsomebodyelsesroom]

Ugh parties are a bit of a minefield. I think if you email the mum directly and say pretty much what you've said here, wording it very carefully it would be ok. As long as you don't come across as demanding an invite for your DD, and make clear you aren't expeciting her to be invited, but just want to check so we don't appear rude by either not RSPV-ing or not turning up when expected/invited.

It might be that actually she hasn't invited the whole class once she looked at a venue, numbers, costs etc and has only invited 10 of them? It could be awkward though so prepare yourself for that.

If your DD is having a bit of trouble making friends maybe arrange a couple of play dates for her after half term.

[MarklahMarklah]

If she sent an email round then its perfectly possible to have missed a physical invite (on paper) or two. Just message her and ask for the details as if replying to the original email and mention if asked that the paper copy didn't arrive.

[Temporaryname137]

If she put you on an email saying that invites were coming, then I think it's fine - I would reply to that email and say, really sorry to ask and if you've changed the numbers that's totally fine, but some people seem to have invites now but DD doesn't and I didn't want to be rude by not rsvp-ing if you think DD has received an invite.

But possibly with some punctuation and pauses for breath!

[NoooorthonerMum]

Thanks so much I'm leaning towards writing a carefully worded email! She did say they hadn't booked up the party yet so it could easily be they've changed their mind and it's a smaller thing now. I know my DD always says she's friends with this girl but I imagine it's probably not reciprocated. I really don't want to be "that mum" that thinks their DC has be invited to everything.

[dowhatnow]

Yes, but word it carefully.

[WorraLiberty]

I read the thread title and clutched my pearls, screaming "Noooo!"

But having read your OP, I think it would be perfectly fine to email her for clarification.

[thewalrus]

I was the other mum in this situation a couple of years ago. Sent round a group message the week before the whole-class invitations. One of my DD's friend's invitation didn't make it home, her mum messaged me the night before to check if the little girl was invited (making it clear it wasn't a problem if not). I was really pleased she had, as would have hated the girl to be accidentally left out. DS is going to a party today that I only found out about when child's mum asked me yesterday if I'd seen the invitation (I hadn't). I think these things happen a lot with parties and the type of email you're suggesting sounds fine.

[WeatherwaxOrOgg]

Did you do anything OP?

I'd like to see how this turned out :)