Bit of background - long-time close friend (gay male, so purely platonic) hasn't worked in years. This was initially due to ill health, but realistically he's been fit for work for a long time - he just has unrealistic expectations about the sort of job he can get.
A few months back I booked a holiday with some friends (none of whom he knows) that's coming up next month. When I told him and a mutual friend, it turned out mutual friend was also going to the same place that week (there's a big event). My mate - let's call him J - started moaning about what a miserable time he'd be having 'sitting at home looking at everyone's photos on Facebook'. Mutual friend and I both said if he wanted a holiday he needed to try a bit harder to get a job - blunt perhaps, but we've both known him long enough to be honest with him.
This week one of my friends who I'm going away with tagged me in a 'Woohoo, only a month to go!' status. J then messages me saying 'Looks like everyone's going on holiday except me. Seriously pissed off'. I made some sympathetic noises, but to be honest I was thinking he hasn't done much to change his situation. Then I got another message asking how much I thought it would cost him to come, if he spent as little as possible out there.
Because of this event, accommodation costs have rocketed - if I was booking this late I wouldn't be able to afford it. However, the flights are still surprisingly cheap (possibly because accommodation is so expensive, meaning no one is booking flights anymore). I told him this and he said there 'must be' something cheaper and 'remind me where you're staying again?' He didn't ask outright, but I think the implication was 'Can't I share your accommodation?' I said I had a room in town that I got cheaply because I booked so early. The second part is true, but it's an apartment, not a room. It's a one bedroom, but I'd be surprised if it didn't have at least a sofa, so theoretically I could ask him if he wants to share.
Is it wrong not to want to invite him? He doesn't know any of the people I'm going with and, while I'm sure my friends wouldn't mind him joining us, this whole 'minimum spend possible' thing would worry me. It doesn't seem fair that a group of people should have to worry about where we eat, how many drinks we have, whether we can go on a day trip etc. because someone they don't even know is watching the pennies. To be honest, I also don't particularly relish the idea myself. If I'd organised to go away with J (as I did last year) I'd have to accept that we'd work to a smaller budget. But this time I'd like to just enjoy my holiday without worrying that the suggestion of a nice meal or a cocktail will be met with and intake of breath and mutterings about the cost.
Am I being unfair to not change my plans just because of his FOMO?
AIBU?
To not invite friend on holiday
TaterTots · 16/10/2016 17:23
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I agree with everyone else, don't invite him. Not sure why he would try to guilt you into it. I'm totally envious over friends who have holidays but wouldn't think of inviting myself along, just happy for them.
As someone said earlier he has bigger things to concern himself with than spending money to go on holiday....which money is he planning on saving if he isn't working? Mmm I wonder?! He'd be an absolute liability, don't even think about it OP! 
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