"My bird"

(104 Posts)
chelseafan123 Sun 16-Oct-16 13:40:31

My fiancé is great, obviously. But her refers to me as his "bird" and other people in the same way, eg.

"Fred is a great guy, he really loves his bird."

I called him on this and asked him to stop doing it and he appeared baffled and asked: "Well how do you want me to refer to you then?" I said: "Well you know o call you your name, or my fiancé, why not do that?"

He thinks I'm being OTT and making something out of nothing. AIBU to be irritated by this?

Euphemia Sun 16-Oct-16 13:42:11

YANBU. Where's he from - 1973?!

acasualobserver Sun 16-Oct-16 13:42:24

Are you engaged to Chas and/or Dave? No-one says bird any more.

HarrietSchulenberg Sun 16-Oct-16 13:43:46

ExH called me his bird once, being ironic. I scowled and said "Tweet fucking tweet". He never did it again, even ironically.

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips Sun 16-Oct-16 13:44:33

I don't think YABU, I personally dislike it. What I hate more is our regional variant our lass said "r lass" I think it sounds awful. As if the woman is the man's property.

formerbabe Sun 16-Oct-16 13:46:22

It's a bit of a London/Essex thing isn't it? I quite like being referred to as 'bird'!

Boolovessulley Sun 16-Oct-16 13:47:01

I don't like it and would pull him up on it.
Would he like to be referred to by a name he dislikes?

BaronessEllaSaturday Sun 16-Oct-16 13:49:23

He thinks I'm being OTT and making something out of nothing He doesn't get to tell you how you feel about things, If you do not like it you do not like it and he should respect that. It is also irrelevant how others feel about it, if you dislike it that should be the end of it.

OutToGetYou Sun 16-Oct-16 13:50:47

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or what your reasons are, if you don't like it, he should stop.

I heard James Martin on TV (no idea what prog or if repeat etc) refer to a woman as a "bird" this morning. Was not impressed.

TheNaze73 Sun 16-Oct-16 13:50:51

It's the sort of term like makes the teeth itch, like calling a bloke my fella.

SansasEscape Sun 16-Oct-16 13:52:53

Doesn't bother me too much. I grew up in Manchester and I heard it a fair amount. I call my male OH my bird in a funny way to tease him. If you don't like it, thats all that matters though, he shouldn't use it.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain Sun 16-Oct-16 13:53:37

Bird (pron birrrrrd) is used in the same way as "maid" down here. You might hear a bloke say it to one of his female friends "Alright bird?"

It's the "my" that might piss me off.

ThatStewie Sun 16-Oct-16 13:57:43

If you don't like and have asked him to stop using it, then he should. No questions. Telling you how you should feel about something is fairly unpleasant behaviour.

It is completely and utterly irrelevant whether or not women on here like it. you don't. He needs to respect that.

dovesong Sun 16-Oct-16 13:58:45

All the men where I used to work did that about their partners and their friends' partners. It was always done with the deepest affection but tbh it would have annoyed me. He needs to listen to you and respect your wishes.

ZuleikaDobson Sun 16-Oct-16 14:06:14

Point out to him that it makes him sound like a 60s relic.

Oldraver Sun 16-Oct-16 14:10:48

When I started seeing DH in the early 80's, amongst his lot (people and football team mates from a bit of a poor area), you became 'The Missus' once you had been going out for a few weeks.

It did irk

Liiinoo Sun 16-Oct-16 14:13:39

I would hate this and run a mile from anyone who used this phrase. It sounds so dated and disrespectful. How did you end up engaged to this dinosaur?

lovelybangers Sun 16-Oct-16 14:15:44

Hate it.

Also, as mentioned upthread, Our Lass. Ugh.

Oh, I also hate when I hear a man refer to his wife as The Wife.

There is just no need.

limitedperiodonly Sun 16-Oct-16 14:19:45

I know someone who refers to women as birds. He's gay. I keep wondering whether it would be okay for me to talk about poofs.

BalloonSlayer Sun 16-Oct-16 14:19:50

I have heard teenagers use this term recently.

Then again I also had a teenager declare to me recently "Pokemon Go's for poofs!" so maybe I live in a timewarp where it is perpetually 1977.

BalloonSlayer Sun 16-Oct-16 14:20:21

Weird x-post with Limited!

grin

smarterthanhim Sun 16-Oct-16 14:20:50

If you don't like it, then he shouldn't call you it.

Penfold007 Sun 16-Oct-16 14:25:29

It doesn't matter what the word is. He calls you by a name you don't like, you ask him to stop he refuses. Not the sort of person I would want to spend time with.

Anniegetyourgun Sun 16-Oct-16 14:25:30

ExSIL used to say "Do you know why women are called birds? Because of the worms they pick up".

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Sun 16-Oct-16 14:25:43

I can't read it now without thinking of the text message Clayton McDonald sent Ched Evans saying he'd "got a bird".

Ask him if he views you - and women - in the same way that they do.

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