Why does she always make such a big thing about looks?

(24 Posts)
Studentgoingbatty Sun 16-Oct-16 01:09:23

Went out for drinks with girl I live with and her mum. However during many anecdotes (they are both very chatty) she mentioned her looks/men who had been into her/etc etc. She's a lovely girl and she is attractive but just don't know why she felt the need, and seems to have a point to prove?! Any insight?!

Studentgoingbatty Sun 16-Oct-16 01:19:48

Sorry, feel like I havent explained very well well. But many stories told tonight I have heard from her two or three times and it gets a bit old - all about how men like her but cloaked in other stories. Her mum supports her and agrees, i just have to sit there nodding and smiling...

KoalaDownUnder Sun 16-Oct-16 01:24:36

I have a friend like that. She has always been attractive, and she really hangs her identity on that, IYSWIM.

Her mum encourages it too. I remember her mum coming over one day when friend was dressed up in a tight little work skirt, and immediately saying 'Ooh, the boys at work are going to love you in that!' hmm

I find it a bit odd for a mother to encourage you to focus solely on 'pretty', at the age of 35. I actually feel sorry for her, as that's not how I was brought up to think at all.

JoJoSM2 Sun 16-Oct-16 01:24:47

Overconfident on the surface and deeply insecure underneath? Have any alarm bells started ringing for you yet?

Studentgoingbatty Sun 16-Oct-16 01:28:36

Very overconfident and a bit gobby; likes it to be "the Jane show" (not her real name) a lot of the time.

TaterTots Sun 16-Oct-16 01:31:06

Possibilities:

1) Her looks are all she has, so she dines out on them to avoid people spotting she's shirt on personality.

2) She was plain when younger and can't quite believe her luck now she has 'blossomed', and needs it all to seem real.

Studentgoingbatty Sun 16-Oct-16 01:32:27

But why go on about it?! People can see she's attractive, nice but normal - why the need to keep affirming it?

Studentgoingbatty Sun 16-Oct-16 01:33:19

I just listened for hours and now realise I know minutiae of her life when she doesn't know key things about mine...

LucyLot Sun 16-Oct-16 01:39:24

Maybe she thinks she's better looking than she is and is arrogant in a misplaced way?

Maybe she thinks she "has one over on you" by being (in her opinion) more attractive and she is one of those people who likes to be top dog so likes to try and make you feel inferior?

She doesn't sound insecure to me. More incredibly shallow and competitive.

Studentgoingbatty Sun 16-Oct-16 01:45:19

I feel like I know (well I do know) about every man she has slept with/every guy who has hit on her. She doesn't have a club about my love life in that sense and I wouldn't consider any of that stuff interesting enough to share anyway - just don't see the need! What's the point in mentioning every boy who has ever liked you/found you attractive?

Studentgoingbatty Sun 16-Oct-16 01:45:34

*have a clue

Studentgoingbatty Sun 16-Oct-16 01:47:11

Do you think she does it because she perceives herself to be incredibly attractive (more so than those around her) or because she is intimidated by other girls and has a point to prove?!

Studentgoingbatty Sun 16-Oct-16 01:49:17

I also know her salary I'm on more but don't feel the need to mention it WHYY

tobee Sun 16-Oct-16 01:59:18

Some people are just like this. It's very wearing. And you have to live with her. I don't know why people do it. I used to know two blokes who were always telling me they were the most intelligent person they knew. Obviously including me! Notice how I used to know them? I can never fathom why people do this as they seem unaware they dont operate on the social norms of most people.

tobee Sun 16-Oct-16 02:00:14

*within the social norms

Studentgoingbatty Sun 16-Oct-16 02:04:07

Thing is i have heard the anecdotes several times now! I know them!!

DixieWishbone Sun 16-Oct-16 02:17:06

It could be that she feels that the only thing going for her are her looks. Maybe she was never praised for anything else and only got noticed for that, so it is her 'thing'. Maybe in her opinion she has to be the prettiest, most desirable one in the room or she's just nothing.

She has to keep retelling the same stories because that is all she has as affirmation that she is the prettiest one in the room.

It's boring and irritating for you, and not nice long term for her because she is going to age, and know her looks are not what they were, and that's going to be tough for her.

It would be good if she could find something else to be her 'thing'.

Studentgoingbatty Sun 16-Oct-16 02:19:11

But she is well-educated, ambitious and intellectual (which she also reminds us about) - I work in a good job though too and have a v similar academic record - I don't get it!

hilbil21 Sun 16-Oct-16 02:23:46

I had a friend like this. Her mum did and still does think she's the dogs bollocks! After a failed marriage and a failed stint on "take me out" she's settled for a guy I know she would never had anything to do with pre fatness!! Lol

FlatleyMyDearIdontRiverdance Sun 16-Oct-16 02:32:18

Wondering why it's her mentioning her looks that seems to irritate you in particular?

Rather than her reminding you about her academic / occupational success which you say she also does. Just a thought.

Studentgoingbatty Sun 16-Oct-16 02:34:57

Because the looks thing crops up time and time again, more so than the rest.

KoalaDownUnder Sun 16-Oct-16 03:00:01

Do you think she does it because she perceives herself to be incredibly attractive (more so than those around her)

This is why my friend does it.

She openly describes herself as 'really attractive'. Which makes me cringe.

Other than that major streak of vanity, she is a really lovely person.

Smellslikeoranges Sun 16-Oct-16 03:09:49

You don't seem to like her much. I have noticed that some people who are talkers do end up repeating themselves alot. And sometimes it comes out fairly unfiltered. Maybe she is at that stage of looks/men being on her mind alot. I went through that myself and do cringe about some of the shite I came out with. Is it time to move on socially?

IWouldLikeToSeeTheseMangoes Sun 16-Oct-16 08:45:13

She sounds fairly narcissistic and insecure but seems obvious why from what you say about the mother. Whatever the reason this would wear thin fairly quick I agree. Why do you live (and socialise) with someone you dislike so much anyway?

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