Do we tell our DDs about our dog?

(7 Posts)
4foxsake Sat 15-Oct-16 18:05:46

Ok, so it's not really an AIBU, more of a WWYD.

Our much loved family dog has cancer. She's very old and, although we've tried our best to extend her life and keep her as comfortable as we can for whatever days she had remaining we've now had to make the heartbreaking decision to have her put to sleep sad.

We've booked for the Vet to come to the house on Monday to do the deed so she can pass away peacefully in a familiar place with DH and I by her side. What we don't know, however, is how we're going to break the news to our DDs (aged 6 & 9).

I'm leaning towards telling them tomorrow so that they get a chance to come to terms with it & say their goodbyes but then I also don't want to have to send them to school on Monday upset & thinking about what is happening to their best friend at home. Keeping them off school is not something that I really want to do as the atmosphere in the house is going to be extremely emotional and I'm not sure I really want them exposed to that. Yes, I want them to grieve and will probably have a little cry with them but I want to be able to be strong for them & help them through it and I'm not sure I can be when the actual deed is talking place. I think seeing their DM & DF so upset will probably upset them even more.

The other option, of course is not to say anything until they come home from school and DDog is gone but I feel that would be robbing them of the chance to say goodbye and might upset them even more.

So we really don't know what to do for the best. Would welcome any advice from any helpful MNers out there.

WhooooAmI24601 Sat 15-Oct-16 18:08:21

Let them say goodbye. We lost our lovely dog, Robert, when DS1 was 5 and DS2 a few months old. We knew it was time to let him go, so explained to DS1 that Robert was very old and tired, he said goodbye and was pTS while DS was at school. I think it helped him grieve, having chance to say goodbye. It's hard no matter which way you choose to do it, but (gentle) honesty is generally the best policy with DCs.

flowers for you though. It's such a hard thing to go through.

MuttsNutts Sat 15-Oct-16 18:12:20

I would (and have when DS was small) definitely give them the chance to say goodbye tomorrow. Wouldn't keep them off school though - being there when she goes would be far too traumatic and not something they need to see for themselves. Far better to keep to their routine and I am sure that once they are there their minds will be taken off what is going on at home.

So sorry for you all. You obviously love her very much and have done the best you can for her flowers

Haggisfish Sat 15-Oct-16 18:14:07

Def explain and let them say goodbye. Maybe explain to school and collect them early if they are very upset.

SENPARENT Sat 15-Oct-16 18:22:21

Yes second what everyone else is saying. Let them say goodbye, send them to school as normal. Let their teachers know what is happening too.
So so sorry for you. It's really hard losing a family pet. They are part of the family. flowers

itstheyearzero Sat 15-Oct-16 18:22:31

My DS was just 7 when we had to have our GHD put down last year. He knew the dog was ill, so we just gently explained the facts, and said the vet was coming to take the pain away and that DDOG wouldn't be here when he got home from school. DS took it very well and said his goodbyes. When he got home from school he had a few questions about how the vet did it, what happened etc. so we told him the bare minimum and he was fine. We didn't say DDOG had been put to sleep in case that worried him, we said that the vet had given him special medicine to take his pain away and that meant he wasn't able to stay alive. I guess it all depends on the individual kid, but DS seemed OK with that level of explanation.

Hugs to you and your family, it's such a hard thing to have to do flowers

MuttsNutts Mon 17-Oct-16 22:16:38

Thinking of you all today flowers

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