Can anyone beat this for rough looking?

[FlapsTie]

I'm sitting at the bus stop in my village with a crate of lager, wine, a fag on the go and my dog.

A group of Alpha school mums have just walked past.

How likely is it I'll be ostracised forever?

(LightfuckenHearted before I get jumped on).

AIBU?

[thecatsarecrazy]

I love it.

[user1476140278]

This is why when I want a crafty fag I hide down alleys. My biggest fear is being spotted by someone from school!

[user1476140278]

Now start shouting out random swearwords

"Oi you bastards!"

"Bleegh....fecking girls! Drink! Feck!"

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

You best have the dog on a bit of string... A lead would ruin the picture.

[thecatsarecrazy]

I don't smoke but look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards. Had a half hearted attempt at straightening my hair but its frizzy, pregnant but just look fat, got rid of my facial hair the other day first time since I found out I was pregnant because I was worried about using hair removal cream, was starting to look like Groucho Marx so had to do something. now left with red blotchy bits.

[MarklahMarklah]

Is your hair in curlers too?

[Mozfan1]

Hope the dog is on a choke chain and you're wearing adidas poppers

Is it blue nun?

[Losgunna]

Are you wearing slippers and too much fake tan?

[SleepFreeZone]

Breed of dog? 😜

[SailingThroughTime]

There MUST be a story. C'mon OP tell us why the lager in the morning.

[memyselfandaye]

It depends if you're the teacher and you're planning a liquid lunch.

[TaterTots]

Sailing - pretty sure OP had just ^bought^ the crate of lager and isn't sitting swigging from the can.

Or are you?

[FlapsTie]

I've stocked up on booze for the weekend during my morning school run to save going out later. Sheer laziness.

The dog is a chihuahua, not sure if that adds class or not tbh.

I'm wearing dog walking boots and a ratty raincoat. The boots are Uggs and the jacket is Berghaus, again I'm not sure if that adds or detracts from the whole look

[Weedsnseeds1]

You need to swap the dog for something a bit more aggressive looking and the clothes definitely need work if you hope to carry off hobo chic properly.

[SueGeneris]

I like it.

Someone I knew swore her next door neighbour used to sit outside in her front garden in her nightie eating pork pies with squirty cream on top. Oh and no pants on.

I don't care if it's true or not but the image has stayed with me!

[pipsqueak25]

sue thanks for that mental image ....... oh, god, i need to get my brain steam cleaned else that will be there all day, urgh.

[RomanticWalksToTheFridge]

Sue, was this in a village starting with 'w'.?

Because that neighbour sounds like me.


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Only joking. :)

I went out today very quickly to the post-office when DH was on the school run with my hair unbrushed, a jersey I mucked my friend's horse out in, red leggings, and flip flops because I could not find my trainers.

Bumped into DH's ex-wife who is (and always has been) very chic and very very glam.

[TaterTots]

Next time stare at them with a maniacal grin and say 'You KNOW they're watching us, don't you?'

[dodobookends]

OP you need to wear a onesie next time, and possibly also be clutching a Greggs sausage roll

[FlapsTie]

Oh Romantic, isn't that always the way?

I generally look a bit of a state to be honest. My hair's really long and frizzy do always tied up messily and I never wear makeup. Add to that the constant state of frazzledness and I'm just the full glam package.

[Nurszilla]

Hope you asked them wtf they thought they were looking at as they walked past, before spitting on the floor and ignoring your dog pooping all over the pavement.

[Notso]

Berghaus and Ugg are 'in' at my kids school, along with plenty of dark fake tan, hair in a bun or very high ponytail.

As an aside do you actually walk a chihuahua? Me and DS saw one once being walked but it kept tripping over its lead and then being dragged along. The owner was walking quite fast.

[FlyingElbows]

I was hoping for pyjamas and scabby uggs so you're kind of half way there!

[weresquirrel]

Where I live the alpha mums are the ones boasting about drinking wine and having dinner parties and walking their dogs.

[HairsprayBabe]

Do you have curlers in? and a neon pink gel manicure?