Why do people do this?

(18 Posts)
aawcmon Thu 13-Oct-16 20:46:04

I have been in and out of hospital recently, with the end result being that I need surgery in the near future in order to maintain any kind of semblance to a normal life. Woman in next bed to me overhears doctors and proceeds to tell me all about how she had similar operation and all the things which did and could go wrong.....why do people do this, especially when it's obvious that person is feeling delicate enough! angry

Chewingthecrud Thu 13-Oct-16 21:28:18

Cos they are self absorbed idiots.
Sadly the hospitals are full of those whose desire to bore with their own health issues outweighs any sense of appropriate behaviour.

Ignore her.

Hope you feel better soon

IWillOnlyEatBeans Thu 13-Oct-16 21:32:26

When I told my boss at work I was pregnant, she gleefully told me all about a friend of a friend who died in childbirth. I have no idea why!

Some people have no filter.

LondonNicki Thu 13-Oct-16 21:44:05

You poor thing. You must be feeling very vulnerable facing surgery and this silly woman doesn't help! Ignore her. Hospitals are full of strange people you would normally not meet.
Pull that curtain over and block her out.

aawcmon Thu 13-Oct-16 22:04:49

Thanks for the well wishes...and definitely going to ignore any drama llamas!

Queenbean Thu 13-Oct-16 22:06:42

People do this with childbirth don't they? "Oh I had a friend who had the most terrible blood loss / nearly lost the child / was ripped a vaganus" etc etc

It's insensitive and shitty

EreniTheFrog Thu 13-Oct-16 23:39:31

This is why hospital beds should be surrounded by soundproofed curtains and Harry Potter style invisibility cloaks. I've has idiots like this wind me up before, and it's horrible. I do hope that your surgery goes smoothly flowers

aawcmon Thu 13-Oct-16 23:42:19

I always wanted to laugh when the curtains get pulled over for discussions, as if magically no-one could hear anything....obviously different if you're being poked and prodded though. Wish the curtains kept the snoring out at night!

WindInThePussyWillows Thu 13-Oct-16 23:48:14

People love to put their two-cents in!
When I was pregnant with my twins I lost count of the 'well wishers' telling me stories of how they knew twins and one died or knew someone who died giving birth to multiples.

The worst was a man who served me petrol and said oh I'm a multiple, my mum was pregnant with triplets but she misscarried my sister and I absorbed her body and now I have monthly period pain, and my brother was murdered shockhmmangry

Ladybirdbookworm Thu 13-Oct-16 23:48:55

When I was a student nurse many moons ago a lady had just been given her diagnosis by the Consultant on a ward round and my friend blurted out ' Oh hell my Aunt died from that'
I like to think it was the excitement of her having some knowledge of the disease !!!!!

WindInThePussyWillows Thu 13-Oct-16 23:49:33

I think I wrote that in a bad manner - I'm not hmmangry at his situation, it's very sad and I feel for him - but he was a total stranger and I didn't want to/need to know!!!

ExitPursuedBySpartacus Thu 13-Oct-16 23:50:45

Sorry but some of these have really made me laugh.

Lorelei76 Fri 14-Oct-16 00:10:24

I really don't know why people do this
my experience relates to a spinal injury
I was in enough of a state without hearing all the horror stories

my mum tried to put a kind spin on saying maybe it's a case of them trying to warn you for your best interests...but no, that's what the doctor is for, and the worst thing is, I still have someone (colleague) who drops hints often that it might cause me issues later in life.

I would like to think it came from a good place but I can't see how.

anyway, I wish you a speedy recovery and less horrible company while laid up! flowers

GiddyOnZackHunt Fri 14-Oct-16 00:20:57

I did this recently blush
I started off with good intentions of imparting a positive story before forgetting myself and cheerfully mentioning residual problems.
I'm not good in social situations and I was mortified.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Fri 14-Oct-16 00:23:55

Sorry to hear about your situation. Good luck with your surgery flowers

I was once welcomed to the ward by a woman who came over to show me a photo of someone with a flesh-eating spider inside their leg hmm (one of those dreadful "real life" magazines)

Hospitals seem to bring out the worst in people. I think many of them are just lonely and get a bit carried away sad

I always laugh with the curtains too. Does yours have those stupid disposable ones? It's such a faff to close them and they provide no privacy. Especially as doctors seem to talk really loudly!

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Fri 14-Oct-16 00:28:49

Actually though I think if I found out someone were having the surgery that I had, I think I would perhaps try to warn them a little of the possible complications, because my team didn't warn me. But obviously I'd try and do it sensitively. And it's a situation where there would be alternative surgical options.

ChequeOff Fri 14-Oct-16 00:39:47

Totally get why this was annoying to you OP. Although to be fair, your bed neighbour may have had a number of reasons why she might have felt the need to share her experiences.

Mindfields Fri 14-Oct-16 00:59:57

People do this with childbirth don't they?

Yes but sometimes you just can't win.

I've had friends in the past saying "why didn't someone tell me about how painful etc. it was going to be"

Erm, because no pregnant woman wants to hear that the pain is almost unbearable, it's like trying to shit a melon and you'll probably end with with an arse that looks like a bunch of grapes.

<possibly too much fruit imagery going on there>

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