AIBU to expect her dad to visit her in hospital?

(19 Posts)
MadameJosephine Thu 13-Oct-16 13:49:44

3yo DD broke her arm yesterday afternoon. Nursery called both me and her dad and we took her to A&E together. Once she had been X rayed and we were told she would need to be kept in and operated on in the morning XDP went home telling me to 'keep him posted'. I've been with her here overnight. She's has had her arm pinned now and I'm hoping we will be discharged this evening but if not she'll be in for another night. When I rang him to update him on how the op went he just again said 'ok keep me posted, I'll see her on Saturday' (his normal contact).

AIBU to think this is crappy and he should be coming to see her?

Eevee77 Thu 13-Oct-16 13:51:12

Is he at work?

Sixisthemagicnumber Thu 13-Oct-16 13:52:42

Is he avoiding the hospital because he doesn't want to see you now that the emergency is over? Do you normally avoid each other if possible?

NapQueen Thu 13-Oct-16 13:53:41

Does she need both of you there?

MadameJosephine Thu 13-Oct-16 13:56:26

Eevee he's self employed and actually sent me a message by mistake earlier that was meant for his new partner telling her he would be finished and home shortly after lunch

justgivemeamo Thu 13-Oct-16 13:56:31

YES! its not nice! My dd was in hospital recently and dh popped in loads! Not local to us - not convenient either! Of course it would be nice if he said - Can I visit again and is there anything YOU need? Can I take over? Of course!!!!!

MadameJosephine Thu 13-Oct-16 13:58:19

Six no the split was amicable and we are on reasonably good terms

Nap, perhaps not but considering I am still wearing yesterday's knickers and have had 4 hours sleep it would be nice

Lunar1 Thu 13-Oct-16 13:58:28

Top dad there, lunch with new partner trumps hospitalised child!

Sixisthemagicnumber Thu 13-Oct-16 14:03:08

In that case he has no excuse. He should st the very least take over watching dd for a few hours whilst you pop home, have a shower and get something to eat.

justgivemeamo Thu 13-Oct-16 14:04:30

Op I you need a break to dash home and I expect you do, You need to text him to ask him.

justgivemeamo Thu 13-Oct-16 14:04:49

ask him

NapQueen Thu 13-Oct-16 14:06:59

Just text him and say "need you to step in this afternoon so I can get some rest, who time shall I expect you?" And see what he says.

Arfarfanarf Thu 13-Oct-16 14:08:24

He should know this stuff but since he appears not to then you need to tell him what your child needs.
It's shameful that he cant figure this out for himself but you wont benefit from staying quiet.

If you ask and he says no then he's a total dick not just a thoughtless one.

When your child is in hospital you do more! He can't figure that out?

justgivemeamo Thu 13-Oct-16 14:12:54

my dh took a few hours out to let me go home, change shower and grab some things.

mygorgeousmilo Thu 13-Oct-16 14:39:17

Tell him

stopfuckingshoutingatme Thu 13-Oct-16 14:41:25

yeah text what nap queen said and make it clear you WONT be there

MadameJosephine Thu 13-Oct-16 14:44:09

Doctor has just been to see her and it looks like we'll be going home in a couple of hours so I'll be able to get a shower and an early night.

To be honest I'm ok coping by myself I just was a bit taken aback when he said see you Saturday, maybe I was a bit unreasonable but it just seemed odd to me to not want to see her

imnervous Thu 13-Oct-16 14:49:20

It is rubbish, my ex would be much the same. DS has severe allergies and asthma and I once rushed him into hospital when he had an attack. I text his Dad with all the details, which hosp etc ( in the situation easier than phoning) and could see he had read my message. He called 12 hours later, because apparently that was the first chance he'd had to make a call?!! Hmmm.

notarehearsal Thu 13-Oct-16 16:34:37

My 16 year old DD was about to undergo life saving open heart surgery. ( She's been getting more and more unwell for a year and was more or less bedridden until it was found out what the problem was and what gave her the best chance of survival. Her father, my exdh, phoned her as she was preparing to go to theatre. He announced he'd 'do his best' to be there for her but it depended how busy he was at work!
You have my sympathy, someone once told me that you see the real character of a person during the big crisis in life

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