It's a DP one...lighthearted!!

(33 Posts)
chimmychanga Thu 13-Oct-16 12:16:40

So I have the Hush Tara dress in burgandy , and am a size 8. I wear this with black tights , sturdy boots and a scarf/wooly jumper and coat combo. Asked DP the other day if he liked the way I dressed and he said he'd rather I didn't wear this dress in the day as it was rather provocative ! I'm a mum to a busy crawling and almost walking baby so am on my hands and knees almost as much as I am trying to wipe paint and glue off me, so hardly man hunting at playgroups!
He said it would be more appropriate in the evening for dinners out etc. AIBU to either a)tell him to sod off, b)LTB or c) just wear it anyway?!

petalsandstars Thu 13-Oct-16 12:21:13

Wear it anyway and tell him to sod off. It's a lovely dress and not provocative imo

Buggeritimgettingup Thu 13-Oct-16 12:21:38

You asked he answered meh. My Dh doesn't really notice clothes per say so it wouldn't cross my mind to fish for compliments ask him

cjt110 Thu 13-Oct-16 12:24:03

If it's this dress, and you wear it in a similar way to the model I wouldnt see it as provocative.

I was expecting to see a long dress, low cut, slits up to the hip etc.... Tell him to jog on grin

LagunaBubbles Thu 13-Oct-16 12:27:57

Mmm are you trying to promote this brand?

chimmychanga Thu 13-Oct-16 12:28:49

Yes it's that dress, doesn't stop him from fondling my bum during his lunch break oh no lol

chimmychanga Thu 13-Oct-16 12:30:00

Laguna no I'm most certainly not! I discovered it through the passive advertising on the style and beauty area of mumsnet

TheCatsMother99 Thu 13-Oct-16 12:31:52

Provocative?? Is he having a laugh? That's one of the least provocative dresses I've seen in a long while.

PinkissimoAndPearls Thu 13-Oct-16 12:35:48

In what way is this lighthearted, exactly?

chimmychanga Thu 13-Oct-16 12:37:46

Lighthearted in the fact that I obviously won't LTB over it! No feminist rants necessary etc

MardyBra Thu 13-Oct-16 12:38:25

"In what way is this lighthearted, exactly?"

This ^^
And what has you being a size 8 got to do with it? Would it not be provocative if you were bigger and presumably less fanciable?

MardyBra Thu 13-Oct-16 12:39:57

"No feminist rants necessary etc"

Yes, because all feminists are ranty, of course. hmm

SansasEscape Thu 13-Oct-16 12:41:08

I take it that this is because it clings to your bum?

Tell him to piss off. I bet your bum is ace.

MLGs Thu 13-Oct-16 12:45:00

Sorry, I don't feel light-hearted about a man telling a woman how to dress, or telling her not to be provocative.

I imagine you asked him with a view to style rather than permission to wear something.

It feels thin end of the wedge-y to me. Sorry. Controlling.

PinkissimoAndPearls Thu 13-Oct-16 12:45:27

If your DH is saying to you that you shouldn't be wearing something as it is "provocative" it isn't fucking lighthearted, and it's actually really depressing.

But if you are happy with this ignorant attitude being passed onto your DC you crack on, or maybe for their sake at least you could educate yourself so they don't grow up believing this sexist harmful bullshit?

I sincerely hope you don't have a female baby if you think your DH displaying an attitude commonly shared by rape apologists is lighthearted.

ThirdTurd Thu 13-Oct-16 12:47:42

If your DH is saying to you that you shouldn't be wearing something as it is "provocative" it isn't fucking lighthearted, and it's actually really depressing.

But if you are happy with this ignorant attitude being passed onto your DC you crack on, or maybe for their sake at least you could educate yourself so they don't grow up believing this sexist harmful bullshit?

I sincerely hope you don't have a female baby if you think your DH displaying an attitude commonly shared by rape apologists is lighthearted

^ Everything about this

chimmychanga Thu 13-Oct-16 12:48:00

More that I'm not squeezing myself into a size far too small, with the possibility of the dress barely covering myself ! Actually I could do with being much more top heavy to fill out the dress more , so it's not perfect.

Not
Saying all feminists are ranty but it doesn't need to turn into a "derogatory viewing of women via a dress with tight lower half" speech.

Yes it did feel a tad controlling , I did pause and think uhmmm then said that I would wear it anyway as I liked it, my mum liked it and I had loads of compliments on it. He said he prefers women to be more covered up, not a fan of the almost naked look in clubs etc.

chimmychanga Thu 13-Oct-16 12:50:57

I'm quite wary of controlling men
Now after having a very controlled
Childhood. Think I will speak to him
About how it made me feel.

Scarydinosaurs Thu 13-Oct-16 12:55:15

He can prefer what he likes- until he becomes a woman he has absolutely zero say in what women wear.

chimmychanga Thu 13-Oct-16 12:58:20

Oh that reminds me of the scene in American Pie :The Wedding where the male stripper is trying on the lingerie and asking if it suits him haha

LagunaBubbles Thu 13-Oct-16 13:02:46

Fair enough then OP, just seems a bit odd to me to mention the brand and its not exactly what I was expecting when you mention your DP thinks its "provocative".

ThirdTurd Thu 13-Oct-16 13:03:51

He said he prefers women to be more covered up, not a fan of the almost naked look in clubs etc.

I prefer men who don't comment on their preference for what their autonomous, separate, adult human being of a female partner wear. I'm not a fan of the 'passively controlling by dressing up a chauvenistic opinion as a compliment' look.

chimmychanga Thu 13-Oct-16 13:04:41

Well without the brand how would one be able to judge whether or not it was provocative ? I'll include a picture next time to make it clearer. The AIBU was about whether it was provocative or not- I certainly don't think it is.

ThirdTurd Thu 13-Oct-16 13:06:32

Ugh, I hate the idea of clothes being provocative.
Provoking men who can't control their sexual urges to think rude things about you. Yeah, it's women who should do something about that by wearing things that are less provocative hmm

chimmychanga Thu 13-Oct-16 13:07:51

I'm also a believer in the whole idea of free bleeding (is it called that?), goodness knows what he'd think to that!

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