To make DH redo the dishes that aren't clean?

(23 Posts)
charlybs Wed 12-Oct-16 13:56:41

DH is a serial reoffender for not washing up very well. He never washes off the bubbles which occasionally leads to Fairy liquid flavour dinner which I could deal with, but the bubbles then hide scum marks on pans and glasses, and bits of food on bowls especially but also other stuff.

I've mentioned this several times but never seem to get anywhere, he just thinks it's funny. But I usually end up having to do them again (even though I say he obviously needs the practice), or he scrapes off the crap with his finger (boak) and says they're fine.

In all other aspects he's an amazing husband. Loving and kind and does his share of chores. He's been especially good since I became pregnant and has done a lot of cooking too.

AIBU?

He's more interested in things being tidy not clean and I'm the opposite - can't get him to see without sounding like a nagging shrew sad I can be feisty when I need to be but it's just not working in this case.

(P.s. sorry for the rant!)

Wolfiefan Wed 12-Oct-16 13:59:07

Feed him off the dirty plates! Or get a dishwasher.
He's deliberately doing a bad job either to annoy you or ensure he doesn't end up having to do the washing up. Twat.

Softkitty2 Wed 12-Oct-16 14:01:37

Omg! Do we have the same husband? My DH is exactly the same with dishes. He doesnt clean the back of plates either so it's all greasy; cutlery are left with hardened food particles angry. Yesterday whilst eating dinner half way through my dinner plate still had bacon grease on the side--yum.

His idea of cleaning is tidying up, which i have told him is not cleaning.

Frustrating to say the least.

Dontpanicpyke Wed 12-Oct-16 14:01:38

Meh we all have different strengths and weaknesses. Sit down and sort out a good division of labour for each of your strengths.

So he cooks and you wash up?

BlurtonOnKites4eva Wed 12-Oct-16 14:05:11

We have this problem but the other way round! Im the shit dish washer I just fire through the dishes, the odd one will skip through that isn't clean. If when putting away the dishes you find something not clean you just put it on the side to be washed again. If I spent a minute cleaning every fucking plate I'd never do the dishes. I'm not doing it on purpose to get out of doing the dishes I'm just trying to do it as quickly as possible I hate it.

On the other hand I have no idea what my DP does when he cleans the bathroom. It's like he's just flushed the toilet and believes that has cleaned the entire bathroom. He's a shit bathroom cleaner.

PickledCauliflower Wed 12-Oct-16 14:09:12

After washing dishes, my husband leaves dirty dish water in the bowl. I have been reminding him to pour it away and rinse the washing up bowl out for 22 years now.
I hate walking in to the kitchen to find scummy water in the washing bowl almost every day.
I don't know I he does this. I don't know what's wrong with him.

maxington Wed 12-Oct-16 14:12:12

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dontpanicpyke Wed 12-Oct-16 14:13:21

working class scumbag hmm lovely

KindergartenKop Wed 12-Oct-16 14:14:24

Working class? Was that an insult?

Pipthedog Wed 12-Oct-16 14:14:50

Love, you're shit at washing the dishes so I will do them whilst you do the (ironing/tidy the living room/insert appropriate chore*)

brambly Wed 12-Oct-16 14:15:05

I don't buy the "we all have our foibles" argument.

It's literally just applying (soapy) pressure to a variety of pretty darn smooth surfaces until they're clean. I could do it at 6 or 7 and I was dyspraxic. What possible excuse (beyond a physical problem, eh arthritis or vey poor eyesight) could a grown man have?

Would happily hold my hands up if I'm wrong, but I'm calling strategic incompetence.

brambly Wed 12-Oct-16 14:15:58

*eg arthritis or very poor eyesight. Blasted autocorrect!

KayTee87 Wed 12-Oct-16 14:16:16

Working class scumbag gringringrin assuming that's a joke.

If he's rubbish at dishes, you do them and he gets another job. I never iron, hate it so would only do a half arsed job. My husband hates cleaning the bathroom so I do it.

WizardOfToss Wed 12-Oct-16 14:17:24

working class scumbag? confused

Explain yourself, please.

charlybs Wed 12-Oct-16 14:18:30

Wolfie I wish we had space for a dishwasher - I'd get one in a heartbeat. He doesn't care about eating off the dirty plates lol.

Dontpanic he doesn't enjoy cooking much and has only been doing it more because I've asked. I'm usually main chef. He'll often offer to wash up instead - but then does it badly!! We already play to our strengths with other chores but dishes happen too often to be solely one person's jobs. I already do all the clothes washing and that takes bloomin ages!

Ha blurton! Nice to hear it from the other side. Thing is that we don't have loads of stuff so if a pan is dirty it's usually the pan we use to cook. Just so frustrating.

Pickled My DH does scummy water too! So annoying

lol anyone else think maxington is a troll? We're both working/middle class thanks! Don't think that's the cause grin

Pip we both hate washing up so I don't think I should have to shoulder a daily chore cos he can't be bothered to check the dishes! I dunno.

WizardOfToss Wed 12-Oct-16 14:18:50

Oh, and, OP, my DH is the same. Hopeless at washing up. Ever willing to do it. <sigh>

WowOoo Wed 12-Oct-16 14:19:32

He's waiting for you to say: 'Look, don't bother. I'll do them properly.'
It's a trap grin

I still have to rewash things, and I always let dh know. I'm never called a nag, but I'm pretty sure his muttering is him swearing at me.

charlybs Wed 12-Oct-16 14:20:02

Brambly this is my argument. It's not hard and we hate it the exact same amount so I don't feel like letting him of the hook.

ThisUsernameIsAvailable Wed 12-Oct-16 14:20:07

Are you married to my teenager? grin

PickAChew Wed 12-Oct-16 14:26:44

DH often doesn't wash up very well. I give him any bowls or plates that still have bits of last night's diner on. He doesn't even seem to notice.

charlybs Wed 12-Oct-16 14:28:23

Wow & usernameavailable I know - this is the crap I tried to pull with my mum as a teenager which is why I know it's wilful ignorance lol

leaveittothediva Wed 12-Oct-16 14:38:12

It's awful, get him to dry up and put away instead. Some people just have no attention to detail. So annoying to have to wash stuff again. It's a pain.I've got a friend that thinks that they do something really badly so that you'll get annoyed and they won't be asked to do it again, could be a thing. You Rant Away.

charlybs Wed 12-Oct-16 18:13:17

Ended up getting in a mini argument about it but I think he gets it now. It's just laziness but I gave an example of how I've made a concerted effort to it my stuff away instead of leaving it lying around (which annoys him) even tho I wasn't doing it consciously to begin with. So fingers crossed!

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