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AIBU?

To not understand where I am going wrong?

60 replies

PeppaAteMySoul · 12/10/2016 09:57

My 3 year old DS has always been tall and chunky. Has been on the 90th percentile pretty much since birth. He weighs 18kg and is 106cm tall. NHS children bmi calculator tells me that's bad. Visited my GP for advice who told me not to worry about his weight as I'm doing all the right things. I am worried though.

He walks to and from his playgroup every day (that's 2.2 miles) and is reasonably active when he gets home.

I've been keeping a food diary for him and for example yesterday it went something like:
Breakfast:
Bowl of porridge with teaspoon of jam stirred in. Half a banana.
Snack: Fruit at nursery.
Lunch: Half a Pitta bread, half a raw carrot chopped into sticks, few sticks of cucumber, half an apple, teaspoon of hummus. Kids yoghurt.
Dinner: Small bowl of vegetarian sausage casserole. Few slices of garlic bread. Kiwi chopped up.

I know I could cut out the jam in the porridge and the yoghurt as both are full of sugar. What else though? I've been told my portion sizes are fine on here and by GP. I'm so worried I'm letting him down. He is noticeably bigger than his friends at nursery. Me and his father are both naturally slim- I'm a size 6/8- so it can't be a genetic thing. It must be something I'm doing wrong. I'm about tp have another baby and upset I will make the same mistakes with this child as well.

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PeppaAteMySoul · 12/10/2016 10:03

He's 100cm sorry.

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BittyWanter · 12/10/2016 10:07

How old is he exactly?

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acasualobserver · 12/10/2016 10:10

Why don't you believe what the GP is telling you?

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PeppaAteMySoul · 12/10/2016 10:12

He's 3 years 5 months. The GP says he is overweight but it will even out. They have been saying that for 2 years. There has been no change to his weight no matter what I do.

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GreatFuckability · 12/10/2016 10:14

you aren't doing anything wrong, a difference of a couple of lbs makes a huge difference on those charts at that age. you're feeding him well, you're getting him exercise. he's tall.
If it helps, my oldest at age 3, was a right chunk. she had chubby arms and a chubby face and a belly. she's now 13 and a size 6. at that age they are still growing so much. he might have a growth spurt soon and even out.

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CaitAgusMadra · 12/10/2016 10:14

My 3yo DS (9th centile for height and weight) eats considerably more than that although obviously it's hard to judge portion sizes

A typical day here is:

Breakfast: porridge or cereal. Adult sized bowl

Snack: Fruit and Yoghurt/rice pudding and maybe a cracker/breadstick

Lunch: dinner in nursery (meat, veg, carb)

Dinner: usually a portion of whatever we have for dinner at home e.g. Casserole, pasta. Sometimes beans on toast type light meal. Usually will have fruit after dinner, occasionally a yoghurt.

He has a biscuit or piece of cake a couple of times per week.

Is there anything else your DS eats or drinks, eg full fat milk, outside of mealtimes?

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PeppaAteMySoul · 12/10/2016 10:15

I'm concerned that when he starts reception next September when they do the weight/ height check it's going to come back overweight and i will be told I'm not meeting his needs.

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ijustwannadance · 12/10/2016 10:15

Dr said it was fine so stop worrying. Diet sounds great to me. Just because you and your DP are naturally thin doesn't always mean your child will be and also, his weight at 3 doesn't mean he will be a heavy adult.

DD has always been tall for her age and was similar height/weight at 3. At 5 she is still the tallest in her class but has slowly lost the toddler chubby legs/face. Was weighed in school and was fine for height.
Wears age 7 clothes.

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VanillaSugarandChristmasSpice · 12/10/2016 10:17

My DH was a bit of a porker at the age of 3.

My DS was a massive porker at the age of 3.

Both are now lean and lanky and literally grew out of it.

Don't do anything drastic for another couple of years at least. My DD started to starve me when I was 4 as I was "too fat" and I have chronic eating issues now.

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PeppaAteMySoul · 12/10/2016 10:18

He has fullfat milk in his porridge and a cup of warm milk when he gets back from nursery. Other than that he drinks water or very dilute squash. He goes to his grandparents twice a week so may be getting extra treats there. They are generally good at not allowing too much sugary stuff though.
I suppose since he started nursery I have realised how much chunkier he is than all of the other children which is what makes me think it must be something I am doing wrong

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VanillaSugarandChristmasSpice · 12/10/2016 10:18

DS was on 98th centile, forgot to say.

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Miaculpa · 12/10/2016 10:20

BMI is notoriously inaccurate to start with but according to the CDC Childrens BMI calculator i just used, he is within the healthy weight range and infact in 55th centile.

To not understand where I am going wrong?
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VanillaSugarandChristmasSpice · 12/10/2016 10:21

Please stop comparing! Children are different. If things haven't evened out a bit when he's fine, revisit the issue then.

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arethereanyleftatall · 12/10/2016 10:22

You must know that your list, as written, of daily food is great.
So, either:

  1. He's about to go on a growth spurt.
  2. There's something like thyroid issues (I have no clue btw, just musing).
  3. The list you've given isn't complete, or not a typical day. (I don't know you from Adam, but I once knew this lady who swore she ate salads etc and couldn't understand why she was so large - it was because of the bags of sweets she ate in between the salads!)
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VanillaSugarandChristmasSpice · 12/10/2016 10:23

Oh, and it was DM, not DD!!

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PeppaAteMySoul · 12/10/2016 10:23

I don't want him to have eating issues Vanilla. I think I have a few from my DPs making me eat everything on my plate as a child etc.
I am very conscious not to discuss anything when he is around. I try and have stress free/ fun mealtimes. The only thing I'm doing is keeping track of his diet for my own peace of mind and making sure we walk to school everyday rather than go in the car. Which he enjoys anyway but may get harder when baby is here/ as winter draws in.

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Miaculpa · 12/10/2016 10:24

is he chunky though or is he fat? there is a difference. My son is 3 too and 110cm tall and weighs about 20kg. I am not concerned about his weight. He is a solid boy and he does have lovely squidgy thighs, but if you look at the breadth of his back and the size of his feet (size 11) you can see he is just going to be a large framed adult and his height/weight now reflect that potential.

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PeppaAteMySoul · 12/10/2016 10:27

The calculator I did said bmi 95%. I did make a mistake in OP his height is only 100cm.
It is a typical day. I don't buy snacks or anything because I don't eat them myself. Occasionally he will have a chocolate biscuit or two after nursery as well if they are in the cupboard.

The only thing is he eats similar portion sizes to me. But I eat like a sparrow. My DP portion size would be treble that of me and DS. Not sure if that's me having a small appetite or him eating too much!

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PeppaAteMySoul · 12/10/2016 10:28

He looks big to me. Can't really see his ribs for example. I'm not sure how good a judge you can be of your own children though.

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Lazyafternoon · 12/10/2016 10:30

I really wouldn't worry. I'm sure you're not doing anything wrong! It looks pretty much like what my DS eats. What sort of appetite does your DS have? is he always hungry or is what you give him enough to fill him up?

My DS (just turned 3) is a funny eater and will have on and off days. Some days he will want to just keep on eating, other days will nibble a bit of toast and not much else. He seems to have big growth spurts too. So a couple of months ago he was looking very lean and long body but short legs. All of sudden he seems to have shot up and trousers all too short and bit stockier round the middle. At 3 it's too young to worry about weight if diet ok, IMO.

As long as you are conscious of his diet don't worry x

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VanillaSugarandChristmasSpice · 12/10/2016 10:30

Don't mention his weight ever.

My DD is a healthy size 10 because I let her eat what she wanted so she doesn't view junk food as a treat and stops eating when she's full etc. Some days she would hardly eat anything, some days she could polish off lasagne and a milk shake.

Don't make food an issue, don't give him worries. He is THREE.

God, my DS was so far he couldn't crawl. Now he is 9 and super tall, super thin and super strong. I didn't do anything different: I gave him healthy food, Percy Pigs when I've been to M&S and a biscuit after school.

I make sure that he swims and plays sport and we go for long walks in the holidays. The only thing that hanged was that after the age of about 4, he stopped drinking milk, he eats cheese though.

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ijustwannadance · 12/10/2016 10:33

Just looked in DD red book. At 2.6 years she was 15.3 kg and above 90th.
I was a chubby toddler and a size 8 until in my 30's.

Stop worrying.

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BittyWanter · 12/10/2016 10:35

Right....I've just looked at my red book for our squishiest ds.

At exactly 3 and a half he was 18kg and 103cm.

He has just turned five and he is no more squishy than anyone else. No hv, gp, paediatrician (he's under paeds) nurse, school or nursery has ever mentioned his size to me.

He's lost all his "puppy fat" and his weight and height are just perfect. He was always on the 98-99th percentile as a baby and toddler but he sits around the 90th percentile now.

I know it's hard not to compare but it sounds like your ds is just fine. If you're feeding him well there's nothing to worry about. In any given class at school there will always be the shortest and the tallest, the one who weighs the least and the one who weighs the most.

Your ds will be fine

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PeppaAteMySoul · 12/10/2016 10:36

Ok thank you I will stop worrying. Just had a few comments from nursery parents about him being a big boy or a chunk. I started to worry they meant fat.
He doesn't ask for food outside of meal times so I assume what he is given fills him up.

I would never mention his weight anywhere near him. Other parents do mention his chunkiness in front of him I normally just smile.

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Mischa123 · 12/10/2016 10:37

my daughter was on the verge of being obese according to the BMI at 4, they didn't take into account the fact hat she was a gymnast and trained for many hours and was muscular. She is now very skinny but still weighs heavy as she is solid muscle. Kids change so quickly. If he is eating well, is happy, active and goes to the toilet well then he is fine. people are all different shapes and sizes, its what makes the world go round!

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