To ask you what I should do with my grey hair.

[midlifehope]

I'm 39 and I guess pretty prematurely grey all over. I had dyed it for years - and took the chance, whilst expecting ds 2 to grow out the dye (cos I didn't fancy chemicals whilst pregnant and breastfeeding) and have gone 'au naturale'. I'm now grey all over with a short asymmetric cut. I have brown eyes, paleish skin - though pretty tanned in summer. I have dark eyebrows. The lack of faff is a revelation. However, I have noticed lately that people treat me a little differently - either I am invisible, or people keep their distance - I'm guessing it may be my hair making me look a little severe (or it could be something else that may or may not be my appearance).

Anyway AIBU to ask you what to do about this. I don't want a block colour again, as frankly, hair dyes make me feel a little ill anyway (I'm sensitive to chemicals). Highlights with blond tones look too salt and peppery IMHO as I have really dark eyebrows (I had jet black hair as a kid).

Please help me decide what (if anything) to do to get a better reaction from people - I'm still only young!

[PoppyBirdOnAWire]

Colour your hair. I'm sure there must be some "natural" dyes available.
But definitely get rid of the grey.

[midlifehope]

Why Poppy - isn't grey quite fashionable at the moment? And now people know I'm grey, wouldn't it be odd to dye it again?

[KinkyAfro]

Can you post a pic?

[Horsemad]

Grey is only fashionable on young things who have UNLINED skin!!

Makes me laugh, all these girls dyeing their hair grey.
Of course it looks good on them THEY ARE YOUNG!

[BrianMolkoismyPlacebo]

Henna? Lush do 4 different colours which make your hair feel fab

[KarlosKKrinkelbeim]

I doubt the op is covered in lines at the age of 39!
See Anna Murphy (times fashion ed) - grey and she looks fab.

[DoItTooJulia]

Get a fantastic cut and consider using silver shampoo/conditioner or a salon grade toner.

Lush henna is lovely, but you need it on for hours like more than 5. And it smells and is quite mucky!

[blueturtle6]

Try lilac streaks in it? I've seen one on fb and looks fab.

[OrangesAreTheOnlyFruit]

How about addressing your clothes and makeup? Maybe you need to update your colours to make you look more perky. My friend has asymmetric grey hair with black eyebrows and the other day she wore a grey top and it really did not suit her. However she looked amazing in a mustard colour with flowers on it. She also looked great in jewel colours. Perhaps try that.

[BennyTheBall]

I dont care how many people say grey looks good - I don't agree.

You're only 39.

[bonzo77]

I'm the same age as you OP and my hair is very grey / white, and au naturale. The fringe is sort of hipster/ almost too short and the back is indercut, and I use pro-voke purple shampoo. And crazy glasses and sometimes bright lipstick. I do not fade into the background!!

[DiegeticMuch]

Sarah Harris (Vogue employee) rocks long grey hair. Also the model Kristin McMenemy (sp?). Both are naturally grey and aged 30+. It can look fantastic if the hair is thick and in good condition.

[midlifehope]

Henna is a good idea, so long as it doesn't go some mad shade on grey! I think it might go green or orange or something?

I'm lucky I have good skin, and no real lines - though I'm obviously not 20!

[Horsemad]

Anna Murphy's hair doesn't look natural grey, imo. It looks too 'even'.

[midlifehope]

I like the idea of lilac streaks..... foils would be much easier to maintain.
I would post a pic, but don't want to 'out' myself......

[ThisPasadenaHomemaker]

Poppy is talking bollocks.

Dye it again by all means if you want to but I've been completely naturally grey for 3 years (am 36) and it looks pretty damn fantastic (there are MNers who would attest to this ).

The women I've seen with prematurely grey hair who have rocked it have had a) a really good cut with their hair kept in fab condition and b) a strong personal style so high contrast clothing or makeup.

I am a MUA so find that wearing good makeup and strong lipstick most days makes my grey look deliberate and stylish rather than someone who has 'let themselves go' (there's a lot of that attitude sadly) .

[KC225]

What about have some blonde highlights, just to break the grey up. She looks mostly blonde but without the roots problem ever three weeks. My friend does this although she is 10 years older.

[Oysterbabe]

I like grey hair. Dyed hair looks increasingly rubbish and unnatural the older you get.

[ThisPasadenaHomemaker]

Totally agree Oyster.

I see older women with hair like this all the time. It ain't convincing anyone and looks incredibly unflattering to ageing skin.

[SouthWestmom]

Op I grew my grey out as an experiment and now I love it . No more ruler down the middle of my head while waiting for an appointment and much easier overall.

Grey hair, good make up, good cut : you'll be fine.

Join a FB page?

[hazeyjane]

I have stopped dying (after about 34 years of every colour under the sun). A few people have asked if I am OK, which is bizarre, almost as though I have gone grey overnight due to some great trauma!

My hair is very very short and was peroxide blonde, so to suddenly have very salt and pepper hair is a change, and I guess I look older, and possibly a bit more badger-y.

I have a nice Mallen streak at the front though!!

[stopgap]

There's a woman in my yoga class, who I'm guessing is a former model. She's probably mid forties, incredible skin, with steel grey hair. Just lovely.

I'm also 39, am very grey at the sides, and use Organic Color Systems. It does fade quicker than the ammonia- and PPD-heavy dyes, but the hair remains healthy and gives a natural colour. I've flitted between dark brown all over (I have olive skin with few wrinkles) and dark brown with lowlights. If my hair would come in steel grey and evenly, I would be tempted to leave it. Grey hair is so striking.

[OnceMoreIntoTheBleach]

I'm very grey around my hairline and parting, and flecks throughout. My natural colour is mousy, so without some sort of colour, I look really washed out and tired.

For ages i tried to hide the hairline greys with dye (dark brown, the grey popped out and looked even worse on dark backdrop) and a fringe (unruly, cow's lick) and eventually went with if you can't beat them (the greys), join them. So i had highlights.

Now my greys and blonde bits blend and look natural. It's costly but it looks quite natural.

If/when I have a LOT of grey, I will ditch the blonde and embrace that. But my DM has only flecks so sadly I may never achieve that. I LOVE the all white look.

[biscuitkumquat]

OP, I'm 45 & I've been grey since I was 19.

I've dyed my hair every colour known to man, and I go back to my natural every time.

BUT, I find I have to make more effort with my clothes & makeup when I'm natural.

I use a violet toning shampoo on mine, and leave it in for longer than recommended, so my hair has lilac tones. I'll see if I can find a pic.

[FindoGask]

I'm salt and pepper - my original colour is dark brown/black and I've got plenty of silver sprinkled through it that I stopped dying about three years ago I think. Mine is longer at the top and undercut at the back and sides. Sort of Tilda-Swintony (resemblence ends there) I'm 38.

I honestly haven't noticed a change in people's reaction to me since I stopped dying my hair - I wonder if you're overthinking this? I've had a lot of compliments but I'm not kidding myself that everyone loves it. I think it's more than possible to pull off grey hair when you're younger - but it's up to you what you're comfortable with.