Partner driving me NUTS

(47 Posts)
JaffaMomma18 Tue 11-Oct-16 13:03:35

Ok, so yesterday when my partner came home from work he went straight for a shower and when he was out dressed and sat down I had asked him could you take out the bins to the front gate please because they are being collected in the morning and the time always differs some mornings they can collect them at 6 another might be after 7 and some mornings it mightn't be until 9 or 10. So always put them out the night before so we don't miss them anyway fast forward a few hours and he's dead asleep on the couch this is around 9 o clock so I woke him after came down from putting baby to bed and asked him to take them out he was really ratty and said YAAAA I won't forget, so fast foward another 2 hours and he's still dead asleep on the couch and iv asked him another 2 times to take the bins out, I finally end up losing the head and stamping upstairs to get my shoes and coat on as I'm in my pajamas to do it myself banging loudly going up the stairs in the hope he'd get up and do it no he's still asleep I shouted cussing and losing the head and ended up wheeling them out myself mumbling and ranting like a mad woman as I'm doing so. Finally done it and came in slammed the door went to bed and left him there on the couch. Take note I am 3 months pregnant also.!! This is the one and only thing I had asked him to do when he came home.! So AIBU? angry

PikachuLovesMilk Tue 11-Oct-16 13:13:26

Is this usual behaviour from him (is he lazy) or a one off?

gettingitwrongputtingitright Tue 11-Oct-16 13:14:01

I think your over reacting.

hellsbellsmelons Tue 11-Oct-16 13:14:54

It depends on what else he does.
Were you home all day?
Could you have put them out earlier?
I would love my DP to always put the bins out but I'm more than OK to do it myself if he's not around to do it.
More often that not it's me that does it.
But he is a really good DP and does loads around the house.
If your DH does sweet FA then you have every right to be angry when he doesn't bother to do the one thing you ask him to.

DoofusMcXmas1 Tue 11-Oct-16 13:16:26

Uh.....yes YABU. 3 months pregnant or not there is no reason why you couldn't take the rubbish out yourself confused

You acted like a petulant child by banging about trying to wake him up, very immature and totally unnecessary. It takes 2 seconds to stick a coat and shoes on.

NoFuchsGiven Tue 11-Oct-16 13:19:39

Why did you wait till he was clean and showered before asking him to do the bins? Why didn't you just do the bins yourself.

I would be fuming if I had been at work all day, had a shower, sat down, fell asleep and dp woke me up to empty the bins, no once but 3 times.

ghostyslovesheep Tue 11-Oct-16 13:22:35

Why could you not do it?

Yes he was unreasonable not to do it if you asked but you where mightily ott waking him up and stomping around like a toddler

bobcat85 Tue 11-Oct-16 13:23:25

I think you're overreacting.

I'm 8 months pregnant and still take the bins out and bring them in if I remember before my husband.

MLGs Tue 11-Oct-16 13:26:28

Can't believe these reactions!

If it's his job to do, you shouldn't just do it yourself. He should have done it before crashing out, and without reminding if it's his job in your household.

If it's no one's specific job, he still shouldn't have ignored you.

Losing your temper obviously isn't going to help.

I would just have left it and let him find a solution to the bins being full all week.

Magicpaintbrush Tue 11-Oct-16 13:26:46

I think, despite the fact that you are 3 months pregnant, there isn't really any reason why you couldn't take the bins out yourself? If you were much more heavily pregnant then that would be different. Unless of course you are suffering from some pregnancy related illness that you haven't mentioned like chronic sickness or back pain, in which case again that would be different. In our house I take the bins in and out as much as DH does, however I won't take them out after dark as all the big spiders come out in the side alley to our house - in that instance I would rather miss the bin collection than do it (in which case I would ask DH to step up and help as he doesn't mind them).

Itsseweasy Tue 11-Oct-16 13:26:50

Might be missing the point here but why couldn't you do it yourself? At 3 months pregnant you should be safe to roll a wheely bin along?
If he is usually helpful then you could have chalked it up to a one off, him being unusually tired after a long day etc and do it for him.

Gottagetmoving Tue 11-Oct-16 13:29:21

It's annoying he couldn't have done what you asked when you asked but I think you are overreacting.
I would have just done it myself rather than keep an eye on the time waiting for him to do it.
If he is lazy all the time and never helps you then there is an issue but if it is just this one time he was tired and fell asleep, I can't see why you would get so worked up.

gettingitwrongputtingitright Tue 11-Oct-16 13:29:29

Maybe theres alot more to this? But on the surface, kindness goes a long way. He was sleeping.hmm

mouldycheesefan Tue 11-Oct-16 13:29:49

If the bins need putting out, one of us will put them out. We don't nag, cuss,moan,shout at the other one to do it. Basically your evening was ruined by bins. You are not working as a team. This bodes ill for when you have a baby.

Gottagetmoving Tue 11-Oct-16 13:30:09

BTW - Did slamming the door help or make any difference? grin

MatildaTheCat Tue 11-Oct-16 13:40:22

Save him another job. Does the oven need cleaning? wink

hellsbellsmelons Tue 11-Oct-16 13:44:40

Maybe theres alot more to this?
I'm hoping so too.

temporarilyjerry Tue 11-Oct-16 13:45:23

Why could you not do it?

As well as everything else. hmm

leaveittothediva Tue 11-Oct-16 13:47:05

I never put the bins out it's husband's job, don't nag him either, if he forgets, tough Shit. I absolutely don't do any household maintenance or what I call dirty work, I do everything else, I'd be damned if I'm doing that too.

NoFuchsGiven Tue 11-Oct-16 13:51:07

temporarilyjerry As well as everything else what? Op hasn't said she does 'everything else' I'm pretty sure she will do soon though smile

Starryeyed16 Tue 11-Oct-16 13:51:11

You could of easily just done it yourself as others said your only 3monrhs pregnant I used to do them at 7 months before I couldn't do it anymore due to my hip

hopelesslycynical Tue 11-Oct-16 13:53:08

Sorry I think you're way over-reacting. You are simply annoyed because he did not jump to attention and do it when you asked. Which is rather controlling of you. He had all the time up to 6am to do it; he could quite easily have not forgotten and done it before he went to bed, but that's academic now as you lost patience and did it

Soubriquet Tue 11-Oct-16 13:53:42

Yes you are over reacting

You knew they needed doing, you can go and do them confused

All that passive aggressiveness for nothing

Chocoholicmonster Tue 11-Oct-16 13:57:14

Of course you're being unreasonable. Especially in how you behaved. Yes, it's irritating but I bet it took all of five minutes yet ruined the whole evening. Being 3 months pregnant has nothing to do with it at all. I'm 38 weeks pregnant, have SPD, being induced on Saturday, finished full time work 2 days ago & guess what I did yesterday? I put the bins out shock

ProseccoBitch Tue 11-Oct-16 13:58:59

Mine does things like this but I can't see the point of letting something so insignificant spoil an evening and wind myself up over it, so I just do it myself.

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