I don't think I can face dealing with MIL today
Just for background - MIL was unfortunately widowed last year. She had been previously living in Argentina with late FIL, but did not wish to remain there alone. It was decided that she would come and live with us in London and we would convert our basement into an apartment for her.
So three months of renovations earlier this year. MIL was living in our house with us and was consulted all the way about choice of flooring, decor, etc. When the work was more or less completed, she then decided that she didn't want to live "down below" in a basement after all! Btw, it was not at all dark or pokey - we had even had the back garden re-levelled so that she had direct access to it via sliding glass doors.
Anyway, DH is used to his mother being quite high maintenance, so got her an apartment with 24 hour security down the road. She moved in early August and seems quite happy with this arrangement.
The problem is that she now expects me to visit her EVERY day. During the week, I'm expected to facilitate her contact with the outside world. DH has organised various home- help / cleaners for her, but she shouts at them all, accuses them of stealing from her, etc. So this is all falling to me as a result. I think she's gone through 3 different companies now. She is 68, but looks early 50's. Very good health and one of the most glamorous women I know.
When she lived with us, she was on a mission to get me cooking more Persian food (she's originally from Iran). She says DH should not be deprived of this and it is also our DC's heritage (we have 4 DC). Now she still comes down on Sunday mornings to "help" me cook all this food as she sees fit. Yesterday was a nightmare. She came when DH was at rugby and I was trying to supervise 4 lots of homework. She took over the whole kitchen to "help" me make all this food when I would have rather just waited for DH to come back and gone out for lunch. I was exhausted and close to tears by the evening because of her.
Then, in the night, she called DH at 3am (she often does this) because she was having one of her "panic attacks" / suspected she had an intruder. DH walked down there and calmed her down. When he got back it was 4.40 and he had to leave for his flight at 5.30 anyway.
Now DH is away until Fri and I don't think I have the patience to deal with her this week. I do feel sorry for her. She was very dependent on her husband and I appreciate she is getting older. Am I being reasonable, or should I just say nothing to DH and accept how she is as an elderly person and his mother?
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AIBU?
Should I get between DH and this MIL?
141 replies
Madinche1sea · 10/10/2016 10:55
OP posts:
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