disabled loos

[ohgoodlordthatsmoist]

I am 20weeks pregnant and suffering from SPD, it has really flared up over the weekend and on Saturday I got stuck on the loo in the local m&s eventually managed to heave myself up but think I have caused it to be worse.
Would I be unreasonable or selfish to use the disabled loo in future if I'm struggling and out and about? I was shouted at when 42 weeks gone last time for using the doable loo in a coffee shop rather than climb the stairs, woman argued that if I was able to be out enjoying a coffee I should jolly well climb the stairs and not use loos im not entitled to.

Any thoughts? Do I need blue badge to use them?

[Soubriquet]

I would use them

You are struggling with a normal toilet, so need to extra room and help.

[Giratina]

If you need the handrails just now then yes use them. The person who yelled at you before was ignorant. Not all disabilities are visible they had no idea what your needs are.

[BerylMeeps]

I used them from 30w as I had SPD. The one person who complained? I suggested to her that she come into the normal loos with me and wait for me to finish so she could haul me upright and help me out of the tiny cubicle. She didn't seem keen on this idea and walked away.

[MacNcheese87]

Having two disabled children, and being pregnant myself, I'd say at 20 weeks you should be using the normal toilets. You're not sick, you're pregnant.

I have to change my 7 year olds nappy on the floor of the disabled toilet, I don't get this 'luxury' in the normal cubicles, and if the disabled toilets were constantly in use by able bodied pregnant women, it would make life even harder for us.

Those amenities are for disabled people. Pregnancy isn't a disability.

Having said that, if you're heavily pregnant, I don't think many people would scoff at the idea that you need a loo fast.

[Soubriquet]

Mac

She has SPD. An awful condition. Had it with both of my pregnancies and needed a wheelchair for one. So whilst she isn't sick, she is temporarily disabled

[MacNcheese87]

Re-read the SPD bit. My comments were towards able bodied, if you're genuinely struggling then you can indeed use them, you don't need a blue badge. But for reasons I specified above (changing nappies on the floor) you can see why some people might be pissed off.

My other son has a hidden disability and we have those looks too.

[honkinghaddock]

Anyone who cannot use the ordinary loo because of disability (temporary in your case) is fine to use them. I've been moaned at for changing my disabled child's nappy in one. Ignore them.

[SixtiesChildOfWildBlueSkies]

I was shouted at when 42 weeks gone last time for using the doable loo in a coffee shop rather than climb the stairs, woman argued that if I was able to be out enjoying a coffee I should jolly well climb the stairs and not use loos im not entitled to.

^ so does she mean that ANYONE with a disability shouldn't be out enjoying a coffee in case they need the loo.

Your using of the disabled loo is no ones business but your own. No, you don't need a blue badge to use them, and you certainly don't need to explain why you're using them. I despair of the vigilante attitude of some people, I really do. They really need to educate their selves re invisible disabilities - temporary or permanent, they really do - and no, it's not for you to do that.

Good luck with your pregnancy my lovely. Enjoy it, and enjoy your new baby too.

[QuinionsRainbow]

Perhaps someone ought to clarify whether "disabled" loos are strictly for disabled people (and not for anyone else) or whether they are loos for everyone but with additional facilities to assist disabled people to use them.

[honkinghaddock]

I think non disabled should avoid using them unless it is an emergency.

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

There are many, many reasons for using the disabled toilet and the ability to use another does not preclude this. In your example, yanbu. Because of a medical condition your mobility is impaired - the spd, not the pregnancy.

mac - how do you feel about an able bodied person with a stoma bag using the disabled toilets? The convenience of having a sink nearby and in the cubicle can be vital rather than having to use a normal toilet then do any cleaning up at the sink in public areas. By your reckoning, they're able bodied so shouldn't use the disabled toilet. But I'm sure they'd argue they need the accessibility of the disabled loo rather than the mobility adaptations.

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

And fwiw mac I do think greater provision should be made so people older than baby shouldn't have to be changed on the floor. Disabled toilets ime are often even more grim than regular ones as they appear to be checked less frequently.

[RhodaBorrocks]

As someone who appears perfectly able bodied (and with an able bodied appearing child) but who has a painful and disabling Joint condition requiring the grab rails (and DC is Autistic and still needs supervision and NO hand dryers!) I'd say YANBU.

I've taken a lot of abuse for looking ok and assumptions I'm just using the loo for convenience for me and DS, but we both have valid reasons for it.

OP, have you got yourself a grab rails for at home? You can get ones that stick to the wall with powerful suction but can be removed when you no longer need them - absolute godsend!

[DesignedForLife]

YANBU. Pregnancy SPD is a temporary disability and flipping painful. I ended up reliant on crutches last pregnancy.

Disabled loos don't have the same legal protection as disabled parking spaces. In many places the disabled loos are where the baby changing units are, and some places the only loo is a disabled one. All depends how much space there is available.

If there are able bodied loos available then able bodied people should use them, not the disabled loos.

[MacNcheese87]

I have two disabled children, one with quite obvious disabilities and the other with autism. One is completely incontinent and the other has sensory issues and absolutely will not be able to use normal toilets through fear. (Hand driers etc)

What I said about getting the looks from others was just explaining why they are giving the looks. I get them all the time myself with my autistic boy, but it's the only option for us so we ignore them.

I've been in a queue for the disabled toilet before and had what appears to be able bodied people in front of us, which somewhat makes me wonder if they're taking the piss or if it's a hidden disability. I have no right to ask, so I don't. I don't even give the look because I get the whole hidden disability thing. I live it every day.

My point before is about able bodied pregnant women were to use them all the time, it would mean life is a lot harder for those with genuine disabilities who depend on them. (Be it hidden or not) There's no way to enforce it, and it's not appropriate to ask for proof, so all we can do is hope that people who need them use them, and people who don't need them, don't.

[TheSnorkMaidenReturns]

It doesn't matter whether your condition is temporary or not, you currently need the disabled toilet. Ignore the nay sayers.

[honkinghaddock]

There are lots of disabilities that require the use of the disabled loo and with many of those, the person will be able bodied.

[MacNcheese87]

Thanks for quoting the obvious haddock. Hidden disabilities are often on able bodied people.

[Prawnofthepatriarchy]

You should definitely use disabled loos because, temporarily, you are disabled. That's what they're there for. Listen to the other users who are telling you it's ok.

Take no notice of nasty judgy people. They are few in number. My DH got challenged by a very aggressive man for using disabled parking (he had a blue badge). My DS, 10 at the time, said "my daddy's got cancer." Cue obvious and massive embarrassment from judgy man. Bet he wasn't so quick to judge in future, tee hee.

[honkinghaddock]

To me able bodied means not having a physical disability. I am not keen on the use of able bodied to mean not disabled (as it is often used) because it is ignoring those with learning disabilities or medical conditions.

[WorraLiberty]

Who are these people who keep shouting at those with hidden disabilities, because they're using these toilets and do the staff/security never come over and ask them to keep their voices down?

I have occasionally seen people moaning at others/tutting/eye-rolling, but never all this shouting I read about on MN.

[dustarr73]

My point before is about able bodied pregnant women were to use them all the time, it would mean life is a lot harder for those with genuine disabilities who depend on them. (Be it hidden or not) There's no way to enforce it, and it's not appropriate to ask for proof, so all we can do is hope that people who need them use them, and people who don't need them, don't.

Op does have a genuine disability.

[nmg85]

I have a bladder condition and have a radar key as well and I say use the disabled toilets if you need them. I always try and use the 'normal' toilets but If I am having a flare and the disabled is free I will use it yet people give me dirty looks because to them I look young, fit and healthy.

[TheSnorkMaidenReturns]

I have a hidden disability and I also have a teen with invisible disabilities. We use the disabled loo when we need to, and not otherwise. I do carry a card I can flash, but usually I either glare back or ignore the Ignorant Judgy Glarers. I would absolutely be prepared to shame one who dared question me.