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AIBU?

to ask what do you do when you and your friends seem to have outgrown each other?

9 replies

CoolToned · 09/10/2016 19:35

Do you force it?

Or do you let it be?

OP posts:
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thegoodnameshadgone · 09/10/2016 19:40

This is happening to me at the moment. I'm just seeing how it goes in the next few weeks. Feels pretty crap though

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Asoiaf · 09/10/2016 19:46

Spooky. This is very much my issue this weekend ... felt very upset about lack of real communication, more like aquaintances these days despite efforts. I am going to let it be.

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SandyY2K · 09/10/2016 19:47

I let it go.

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DandelionAndBedrock · 09/10/2016 19:49

Well if you're my former friend you stop replying to messages, ignore any contributions from me on group messages and hope the person gets the message Hmm.

I don't think you can force friendships.

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EvansAndThePrince · 09/10/2016 19:50

Me too. Finding it really sad Sad but letting it go.

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crayfish · 09/10/2016 19:59

I think you have to let it go. You can't force it. I think a lot of relationships in life have a shelf life, although sometimes we don't know it at the time. I've had friends who were very close and important to me for a couple of years and then we just seen to move on. Sometimes things just run their course.

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thegoodnameshadgone · 09/10/2016 20:28

Asked them to do things for the last couple of weeks. Always a reason why can't. Then agreed to do something with my daughter and me and made other plans without telling me. For two days running this weekend. I'm done now. Not going to even address it with them i am just done. Like you say you can't force it. I'll just see what happens in the run up to Christmas.

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Bagina · 09/10/2016 20:33

I think it depends on how long you've been friends for. If it's a long time I would just keep each other on the back burner. There's nothing like having someone in your life who has a link to your past. I see my old best friends as more like cousins; we'll always be there and have that link, but we've not enough in common to be meeting up every week anymore. If it's nothing personal then don't cut them out entirely.

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capricorn12 · 09/10/2016 22:01

I've just had this experience with my friend of over 35 years. She is done with me and I don't really understand why: nothing has happened , we hadn't had a row, I just turned down a night out as I was already going out that night with someone else (which she knew about beforehand). She obviously feels that I've not been making enough effort with her but had shown no signs of being unhappy with things.
I've just let it go, it's sad but I won't have someone thinking they can monopolize my very scant free time.

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