To think that taking kids shopping is torture?

(20 Posts)
malificent7 Sun 09-Oct-16 19:05:32

Don't get me wrong... i like treating dd to things that i think she'd like... if it is my idea, im on my own and within my budget. Being nagged, cajoled and pressured into buying things in shops, not so much!
Even in the humble supermarket...... marmeeeeeee....... i love Harry Potter. That,'s nice dear.
Marmeeeeee.... i want the bew book.
Its a tener put it on your xmas list.
But i want it niw.
No.
Can i have a magazine instead....( accompanied by winging)
aaaaagggggrrrrrr!
Clothes shopping is also hell. We will set a budget
I like this mum.
No its a summer dress.. it is now nearly winter. I want you to gave some warm clothes.
But i waaaaaaaaang it.
No.
Ad nauseum
I find it so deaining and im fed up of tge spoilt singing
aibu?

malificent7 Sun 09-Oct-16 19:06:29

Aaaaagggrrr typos!!
I find it so draining i meant.

I8toys Sun 09-Oct-16 19:08:53

Yes it is - that's why I never take them.

Flanderspigeonmurderer Sun 09-Oct-16 19:10:15

Any kind of shopping with a child is my idea of hell. We can be in a shop for less than 30 seconds and the cries of "when are we going?", begin. I do it online or alone!

malificent7 Sun 09-Oct-16 19:24:31

Its just so gard to avoid shops though isnt it?
Say your on a nice day out.... there's always an enticing gift shop.
Even in the post office or petrol station i will get nagged.

SexLubeAndAFishSlice Sun 09-Oct-16 19:45:56

Ikea. We went the other weekend and it was filled with children. Moody teens, older children running around, toddlers squawking in pushchairs, toddlers wandering in everyones path and getting knocked by trollies, screaming babies in prams. It was a nightmare.

TooStressyForMyOwnGood Sun 09-Oct-16 19:47:10

It's horrific. I buy as much as I can online.

CrohnicallyAspie Sun 09-Oct-16 20:40:21

DD learned her lesson early... I had put a treat in the trolley for her, she whinged around the shop, I said if she didn't stop whinging her treat would be going back. She didn't stop, so I marched across the shop with her and put her treat away! She howled for the next 15 minutes or so (made the rest of the shopping interesting...) but she's much more amenable in the shops now!

user1471449040 Mon 10-Oct-16 14:53:12

I put a stop to this with a tip from how to talk so kids will listen book: first instance of whining i remind that we don't whine. Kids whine because they feel they have no powee. then i say oh should we put it on your birthday/xmas list? And i make an actual note on my phone or notebook. So DC feels listened to and know that there is a chance will receive it as a gift later

user1471449040 Mon 10-Oct-16 14:53:48

And I also freely say "we dint have money for that just now"

AmeliaJack Mon 10-Oct-16 14:57:29

Put a stop to it then! She's 9 yo not 2!

when she asks for something inappropriate say "no and please don't ask me again I won't change my mind".

If she is continuing this behaviour at 9yo then I can only assume that it is at least sometimes effective, so stop giving in.

I have two 8 yos. They are very clear that "no means no".

Katastrophe13 Mon 10-Oct-16 15:04:10

My DH had this with DS yesterday. They were in supermarket and DH had already given in to 4 of DS's requests and then when DH finally said no to request no. 5 DS had massive tantrum. When I was talking to DS later and trying to explain why he can't just have everything he wants all the time he said to me that if me or daddy want something then we buy it for ourselves. I explained that actually there are lots of things we want for ourselves but don't buy because we don't have the money, but was interesting because it must seem like that to him. That's interesting though user about making a note so they feel like they have some power. Will try that for some of the requests. He probably won't want Capri Sun for Xmas though grin

AmeliaJack Mon 10-Oct-16 15:48:22

I'm not sure of your DS's age katastrophe but a tantrum on request number five would have led to items 1-4 being placed back on the supermarket shelves. <mean mummy>

Our children don't know our income of course but they are aware that we have a budget and stick to it. They are also aware of the fact that we work very hard to earn money and therefore it shouldn't be spent carelessly.

They are allowed to make a case for something they want. Negotiations are fine but if we say "No" they know we mean it.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es Mon 10-Oct-16 15:57:17

We've always worked on the basis that we will consider any suggestions, but if we say no (and explain why, and where applicable it can go on Christmas lists or similar) that is the end of the matter and we move on, change the subject, maybe suggest an alternative. It does seem to have worked.

lessthanBeau Mon 10-Oct-16 17:08:44

We went to asda without our dd7 and spent more money, as we had time to browse the stuff we would normally ignore in the rush to be done and out asap. So not always a bad thing to have moany child in tow.
On the hand my sil took dn7 for a day shopping in meadowhall, personally would have preferred to gouge my own eyes out, but each to their own.

BowieFan Mon 10-Oct-16 17:11:50

I hate shopping full stop. It's worse when you have to take two teenagers who would rather be playing football/xbox or watching Geordie Shore though.

It's not that they irritate me when they're with me, just that they're so disinterested in it that I ask "do you want this?" "do we need this?" about 500 times in the shop.

BowieFan Mon 10-Oct-16 17:16:36

SexLubeandaFishSlice

I'm convinced IKEA was created to test relationships. If you can survive a trip to there, you can survive anywhere.

Me and DP always argue when we've been there. Mainly because he thinks I am too slavish to what we've already picked from the website (and measured to make sure it fits) and I think he's too free spirited because we always come out with more than we went in for and he could quite happily spend the whole day wandering around there.

Ohyesiam Mon 10-Oct-16 17:30:24

I avoid any shopping with my two , and always have. On the rare occasions that's not been possible I start with The Talk, do they know what I expect of them. Is, they can say they like things, but not ask for them, and zero singeing. Put it on your Xmas list is good too.

Hope you find some good strategies.

SexLubeAndAFishSlice Mon 10-Oct-16 18:27:53

When I was a kid, my mum took me and my sister there on one occasion, we were early-mid teens. We went there so mum could buy a lamp and a chair, it should have come to approx £40. We left with the lamp and the chair, plus a bed and a wardrobe and a fucktonne of other random stuff we realised we couldn't live without grin

Mum spent about £450 in total and all she wanted was a lamp and a chair grin

BowieFan Mon 10-Oct-16 18:32:58

That's like us.

Me: "DP, we're just going for the bookcase, OK?"
DP: "Yep"
Me: "No, I mean it, if we come out with anything else I'm leaving you."
DP: "Yep."

Three hours later we're trying to fit a bookcase, laundry chest, dining table and three floor lamps into a small hatchback.

I will never learn. He says I do the exact same to him when we go to TK Maxx (probably true, actually!)

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