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AIBU?

To want nice hair?

27 replies

hooveringhamabeads · 08/10/2016 23:38

I'm so fed up with my shitty hair. I'm 35, and have been going grey for at least 11 years. Consequently, I dye it every 2/3 weeks to my natural colour as it's VERY grey at the roots otherwise. This has left my hair in really poor condition, the ends are dry and it's fluffy and flyaway. It's fairly long and dyed medium brown.

To add to my woes, I had a bastard mirena coil for 18 months until this summer, and it made loads of my hair fall out, so it's really thin now.

I'm not ready to bite the bullet and accept my greyness. I think I look quite young generally, the wrinkle gods have been kind so far, so I don't want to age myself by having grey hair.

So my other options are, as I see it, either carry on what I'm doing and have hair that looks shit, or start highlighting it and gradually go blonder to disguise the grey. But due to the amount of medium brown dye on my hair, I'm guessing that will involve a good long stint of being a bit ginger until the brown dye grows out.

Waaah. Please tell me I'm missing something here and there's a magic solution.

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BackforGood · 08/10/2016 23:42

Loads of young girls are dying their hair grey at the moment.
Why not follow that trend for a bit, and then gradually let your own grey mingle in with the dye ?

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EllenDegenerate · 08/10/2016 23:56

Chop it to above shoulder length, get a full head of highlights/caramel/dark blonde tones.
Invest in some heavy duty deep conditioning treatments.
All will be well.

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thehugemanatee · 08/10/2016 23:57

Are you dyeing all of your hair when you do it? If you are, stop! You only need to put the dye on the roots. That will help keep the condition of the rest of it good.

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NuggetofPurestGreen · 08/10/2016 23:58

Do you dye it yourself? Mine is better since I started getting it done at hairdresser but obviously that's far more expensive!

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Summerisdone · 08/10/2016 23:58

I've been dying my hair grey for a few years now even though I don't have any in sight yet (at least I don't think anyway). Embrace the grey but rather than letting it go through the awkward grow out stage, go and get it all done full head, then your natural grey can just merge and you won't have to continue burning your hair with the dye

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Mybrainishurtingme · 08/10/2016 23:59

I dye my hair grey - why not do the same - embrace it!

I'm waiting for my roots to go more grey so I don't have to keep re-dying!

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MyCatHasStaff · 09/10/2016 00:01

Good shampoo and conditioner will improve the overall look and feel (Wella Professionals is good and not overpriced) Then full head as Ellen says will sort it. I have had the same problem, I went grey at 27, and now in my fifties still not ready to embrace the grey!

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FriendofBill · 09/10/2016 00:01

Henna is pretty good.
It paints the hair iirc, so it thickens it and leaves it in good condition.
Blends well with natural colors.
Lush have a dark brown one.
There was a thread on MN about it...

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bummyknocker · 09/10/2016 00:05

Slather your hair in coconut oil before you wash, every time. Leave in conditioner/ oil, ding blow dry every day. My hair is very grey, I only do the roots and full head every few months.

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hooveringhamabeads · 09/10/2016 00:06

But if I got highlights, would I not end up ginger due to it going on top of permanent dye rather than natural hair?

Not sure if I'm ready to go all out grey, dyed or otherwise. I think it can look amazing on beautiful 20 somethings, but on me, maybe not so much.

Henna could be worth having a look at.

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DogsAndWolves · 09/10/2016 00:11

No, highlights shouldn't go ginger. A have a consultation at a decent hairdressers and they will tell you your options. Don't attempt to highlight it yourself, it could become khaki if it's over a cool brown.

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EllenDegenerate · 09/10/2016 00:16

No it won't go ginger.
I would recommend having three or four different shades of blonde woven through your hair, a good hairdresser will be able to do this for you, it'll cost under one hundred pounds with a cut and restyle, then just have it repeated every 8-12 weeks.

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thehugemanatee · 09/10/2016 00:17

Henna will give you an orange tint unless it is mixed with indigo. Don't use pure henna unless you don't want orange!

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thehugemanatee · 09/10/2016 00:17

Unless you want orange that should say!

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honeyroar · 09/10/2016 00:25

I'm the same situation as you and I've stopped having hilights and gone back to solid dye. My reasons were that if I just had hi-lights on top of hi-lights it got blonder and blonder (even with copper high lights mixed in), so I'd have the rest dyed brown and then lights on top. But there was always a slight dark root, then as the grey came back a grey beyond that. I have to have my hair up for work and it looked stripey- grey stripe, then dark strip, then blonde bit. I hated it and found it easier to just have a solid colour that was easier to top up. Plus I like being a brunette, it suits my colouring better.

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Helpisathand13 · 09/10/2016 00:26

If you don't fancy going whole hog grey just yet, maybe start to dye your hair lighter so the grey re growth is less noticeable and the gradual lightening less stark of a change.Smile

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VioletBam · 09/10/2016 00:28

I'm in the same boat OP and I don't want that head full of caramel and brown highlights as I think it just screams MIDDLE AGED!! I see that on so many women and I don't like the look in general.

I thought about going short and blonde...if I can take grey...which I can as my skin tone will have changed as my hair's tone has...then I can surely take ash blonde?

I say go short because it will get rid of the damaged bits and it's a bit like starting again.

I might get a wig and try it on to see what I look like!

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N0tfinished · 09/10/2016 00:32

I'm very grey & dye my hair. I want to second whar thehugemanatee said upthread- don't do your whole head, just roots. A good hairdresser will be able to bleach non-virgin hair just fine. Many people (such as me) have dyed hair & highlights, so they do this all the time.

I would think about a good trim though.

Sad fact is that silver hair has a different texture to hair that has pigment. It's coarser & drier, and it tends to be straight. You might be seeing this rather than damage perhaps?

I switched to silicone & sulfate free hair products, which has made a great difference. You really have to heap on the moisture, recent thinking is that silicones coat the hair shaft & prevents conditioner from really working. It's worked for me! I get a lot of my hair stuff at TK Max

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hooveringhamabeads · 09/10/2016 01:03

Problem is, if I do just the roots, the rest of my hair looks proper crap. Even though the dye is permanent, it seems to fade over time and starts looking a bit faded and ginger even though it's a cool brown that I use. So I do my roots then just put dye over the rest of it for the last 5/10 minutes.

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VioletBam · 09/10/2016 03:00

What dye are you using? I only do my roots and find the rest is fine if I condition enough.

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phillipp · 09/10/2016 06:36

My natural colour is dark brown but since going grey I don't keep it that colour. I think the grey stands out far too much in contrast to the dark hair and I need it doing more often. I am usual either blonde or a coppery colour. Being a light colour all over will help it not be as noticeable.

I second using coconut oil, it's definitely worked for me and dd who has different textured hair.

I switch between copper and blonde, and while I usually do it quite gradually. I am never ginger in between

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AndShesGone · 09/10/2016 06:52

Do you have money? Highlights is much kinder to your hair than all over colour

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SeaRabbit · 09/10/2016 07:00

For the past 6 months, I have been taking a fantastic dietary supplement, Phytopanere

www.sanareva.co.uk/phyto-phytophanere-anti-hair-loss-hairloss-2-x-120-capsules.html?gclid=CMX11vmEzc8CFUqNGwodDsgM1g

And the hair at the roots is now so much thicker than it's ever been. I take 2 a day.

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alizondevice · 09/10/2016 08:06

I swear by a product called "It's Natural." It's henna mixed with indigo, so it covers all greys and it's not as shockingly red as pure henna. You can also go brown or black with it. It's natural and good for your hair. Leaves it shiny and full of body, very healthy and natural looking. I order mine from Suvarna.co.uk. Much cheaper than going to the hairdresser!

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alizondevice · 09/10/2016 08:07
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