To not want to be Scrooge

[Blankblanket]

But believe every person who walks around with 'merry Christmas on their lips should be buried with a stake of holly through their heart'?

Not quite.

Just the same, Christmas is shit for me and I don't think I've had a good one since I was maybe ten. Mostly I end up on my own.

So AIBU to

a) ask how I can avoid being like ebeneezer (please don't merrily tell me how lucky I am to have a nice day alone as literally this happens all the time anyway!)
b) on a slightly more serious note, anyone else dreading the festive season!

[KingJoffreysRestingCuntface]

Me.

It's commercial shite. Seriously. The general message is spend more money, have a better Christmas.

The whole situation is a mess.

[pollyblack]

Me... but that doesn't generally go down well here!

I make it a fun time for the kids and I enjoy the chilled out holiday time. But i am not religious or materialistic and I don't really need an excuse to have a good time so i don't really get it

[mummymummums]

Do you want to spend it with others OP? Or is Xmas just not for you?

[camtt]

Christmas throws me into a blind panic, and it's started already this year - threads on here, decorations in the shops, people out buying gifts. I never know what to buy, worry about the money, worry about not hand crafting reindeer out of twigs, baking cakes etc. If I had the chance I would go away and do something not at all Christmassy - like fly somewhere on Christmas day and miss it altogether! I'm not on my own, and I'm sure that would be worse but you won't be the only one not enjoying Christmas!

[LockedOutOfMN]

If you're going to be on your own, would you consider helping out at a charity initiative for the elderly or homeless?

Or go away somewhere, maybe somewhere where Christmas isn't celebrated as much as in the U.K. (presuming you live in the U.K.)

[user1471544305]

I spend it with my youngest he is 23. We eat xmas dinner in our pjs. Slob around and watch tv. I have a tree but we don't presents any more.

[Blankblanket]

I can't really go to a charity. I have a baby.

Yes and no mummy. If I had others to spend it with I probably would but by the same token I'm not keen on the invites that people give out of a sense of duty 'because it's Christmas.'

[SloanePeterson]

I have been in the same boat, I was a single mum to two small dc. A friend invited me to her family Christmas, she was single at the time and we spent it at her mums house surrounded by her family, and went to her aunts for Christmas dinner. It was lovely, and though I did feel awkward accepting the invitation I didn't regret going. People won't want you to be alone at Christmas. Swallowing your pride a bit for one day is no bad thing. I wouldn't want to spend Christmas knowing a friend was alone and they'd be more than welcome at ours. Be honest with people who ask your plans. If you don't want to be alone, you probably won't have to be x

[mummymummums]

People might not be asking out of duty - some people just feel all sociable at Xmas.
I have to take bits of Xmas I don't enjoy (in laws who are not easy and haven't the slightest idea about children) with the bits I do like - bigger events with friends or more distant relatives.
Is there a possibility you could have a few people to yours that you do like? One year I got invited to a cookie exchange where everyone takes a load of cookies and swaps so they have many different ones.
Sometimes the main days are a bit duty days and I tend to have best fun in the run up and after Xmas.
Hope you have a good one whatever you do

[Ariandenotgrande]

I hear you op !
Got the fright of my life in Tesco when I saw the xmas stuff, I thought 'oh fuck here we go again'
I wish I'd enough money to elope from xmas

[CanadaMoose]

I don't love the religious part or the commercialism, but it's nice that everyone at least fakes a good mood for a month or so. Makes me feel genuinely happier when people on the street and in my home look happier.

[Blankblanket]

I don't find that, much. It mostly just means going round the shops is a nightmare!

[milpool]

Is it just you and the baby OP? We had a pretty quiet one last year when our DD was 7 months. Didn't bother with a Christmas dinner, just got a load of picky yummy picnic type stuff.

I love Christmas but my OH isn't too bothered about it. This year I'm not sure what we'll do as I'll be 8 months pregnant and will probably just want to sit down! I'm most worried about presents as we will seriously have no money to buy any in preparation for the massive income drop when I'm on mat leave.

[Blankblanket]

It is just us yes

[KathArtic]

Sorry if its being mentioned but is there any you could invite to your house instead? A friend or neighbour? Do you go to any baby groups where there may be someone in a similar situation?

You could start picking up some things now like crackers and serviettes to spread the cost.

Start making your own traditions and memories for your family so you can start to look forward to the festive season. When your child/ren are older they will love it.

As a last thought, go along to a christmas carol service at church. Its lovely, especially when they dim the lights and the children bring baby Jesus to the alter and then get little gifts. disclaimer I'm not religious in the slightest

[VioletBam]

I think that now you have a child, you must try to change your mindset. Future Christmases should be made as magical as you can make them for your little girl or boy.

Your past experiences need not be passed on to your child. Get a tree, decorate it, listen to carols and have a nice meal. That's all you need while the baby is small...but try to enjoy some of it even if it's only the television!

AS the baby grows, giving gifts and a stocking will be fun!