New au pair staying out all night!

(205 Posts)
LoisEighty Fri 07-Oct-16 22:00:17

AIBU to be a bit concerned?

Au pair is young and only arrived this week - went out this afternoon and has texted to say she's staying out all night.

ChiefClerkDrumknott Fri 07-Oct-16 22:01:38

Is she supposed to be working? If not, nothing to do with you

louisejxxx Fri 07-Oct-16 22:02:09

I don't think so as long as it's not interfering with the hours she should be working? She may be staying at a boyfriend's/friend's.

Iguessyourestuckwithme Fri 07-Oct-16 22:02:20

Who did she go out with earlier? Has she got some friends already here? Or did she meet a couple of people this week - and is crashing there?

ChequeOff Fri 07-Oct-16 22:03:52

What is it that's concerning you OP?

LoisEighty Fri 07-Oct-16 22:08:26

Don't think it's as simple as saying it's nothing to do with me Chief, she's a young girl in a foreign country, she's not been away from home before and I have a responsibility towards her.

ilovesooty Fri 07-Oct-16 22:08:36

She's let you know that she's staying out so I can't see the problem unless it impacts on her work.

ChequeOff Fri 07-Oct-16 22:11:57

How old is she Lois?

LoisEighty Fri 07-Oct-16 22:12:09

Iguess - she has met one other au pair this week and has gone out with them.

LoisEighty Fri 07-Oct-16 22:12:38

She's 18.

Pickled0nions Fri 07-Oct-16 22:14:33

Oh my god she's not your daughter give her space she's probably checking out the place if she's never been here before.

zzzzz Fri 07-Oct-16 22:14:48

None of your business

NerrSnerr Fri 07-Oct-16 22:15:11

Do you really have responsibility for a grown adult who lives at your house? She told you what she's doing so I don't see a problem, I bet she's just staying at a friend's house so she doesn't have to get back late.

Iguessyourestuckwithme Fri 07-Oct-16 22:15:21

I imagine she is staying at her friends house. Drop her a text to say have a good evening and tomorrow when you speak to each other just mention that if she wants to stay out over night that's fine but maybe she could drop you a message in the morning to let you know all is well.

I am a nanny and would have no problem texting my boss after a night out if it made her feel happy.

LoisEighty Fri 07-Oct-16 22:19:22

Nerr - she might be a grown adult, but only just. She's in a new country and has gone out with someone she's met once before, to a city she's never been to before, so yes I do feel some responsibility towards her!

Akire Fri 07-Oct-16 22:19:53

Agree she's 18 she's let you know so you don't worry. She's with a friend, though if she just went out and went back to a blokes place I'd be more worried if language or knowing where she was a problem.

Treat her like adult going off to uni of courses she's going want to do young student things, even though she also staying and working with you.

FourToTheFloor Fri 07-Oct-16 22:22:53

What were you doing at 18 OP? She's fine, she minds your dc, she isn't one of them.

LoisEighty Fri 07-Oct-16 22:23:23

She's with a new 'friend' that she only met briefly for the first time this week though, not someone she knows well.

LagunaBubbles Fri 07-Oct-16 22:25:48

So what do you want to do OP? Drag her back? She's 18. She's let you know she won't be back. That's more than some teenagers would do!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Fri 07-Oct-16 22:26:25

I'm with you OP. Only just an adult.

CheckpointCharlie2 Fri 07-Oct-16 22:28:19

With you too op, I would be concerned too but not much you can really do.

ErnesttheBavarian Fri 07-Oct-16 22:28:29

When I was 18 I didn't feel like a grown adult at all! I agree she has the right to a social life bit understanding OP feels responsibility towards her. Is she supposed to be working tomorrow? Is good that she texted but I would not be at all happy.

LoisEighty Fri 07-Oct-16 22:28:53

I know I can't drag her back, I'm just a little concerned.

I'm sure plenty of posters with 18 year old daughters would feel a little concerned if they went abroad for the first time and a few days in were staying out all night in a strange city with people they just met.

PaulAnkaTheDog Fri 07-Oct-16 22:29:06

Only 'just' an adult, happy to trust her with your child/ren but not to make a decision on staying out of she wants? I think you need to back off.

Mojito6 Fri 07-Oct-16 22:30:30

I totally get your concern I think it's Actualy decent of you to be so concerned however I'm not sure what, If anything, you could actually do

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