Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4

AIBU?

Leaving DH to look after our baby??

89 replies

SeenYourArse · 07/10/2016 12:21

It's my friends hen night this weekend,means leaving at 10:30am Sat morning and returning 12:00 Sunday were going about 2 hours drive away from where we live in a coach 16 of us. Our baby is 4 months old and teething terribly,only suffers evenings until he falls asleep around 8-10pm depending how tired he is,once he's asleep he sleeps all night until 8am ish. Problem is he will only settle for me not daddy as he's used to me doing all the actual looking after him. Friend is very very poorly and prognosis isn't good at all so I really want to go (plus ive paid the £160 already) this is the first time I've left baby to go out at night since he was born. AIBU to go despite knowing daddy might have a rough evening trying to settle him?? I know I will feel guilty but can't help thinking if DH out more effort into his relationship with baby on a daily basis he would be easier for him but he leaves it to me as it's an easier life for him. My mum is coming with me or else she would look after him and he'd be fine for her he spends a lot of time with my mum we see each other most days. My dad will come round for a couple of hours in the evening until baby falls asleep to help DH and baby loves Grandpa. Should I go as planned or stay at home Incase he has a bad evening?? To add teething has started since it was all booked and we have baby ibuprofen and calpol to give him if he's really in pain (obviously following the guidelines on dosage etc)

OP posts:

Report

IrisBlue15 · 07/10/2016 12:23

Go! Have a wonderful time. See it as bonding time for them.

TheUnseenAcademic · 07/10/2016 12:26

Definitely go. I've just done similar with a slightly older baby but with the added complication that she is breastfed and not keen on bottles! They will cope for one night, whatever happens, and it sounds like it's very important for you to go. Go and enjoy.

ayeokthen · 07/10/2016 12:26

Go and have a ball! I get really frustrated by dads who "can't settle the kids". And what? We learned the hard way, so can they! My friend's DH is murder for this, he can't cope with the baby blah blah, meanwhile she's shattered and needs a break. I went through him, told him the only way to learn is to do it and took her out for the afternoon to let her relax for a bit. Enjoy the hen do, have a great time!

dalmatianmad · 07/10/2016 12:28

Definitely go! The overnight break will do you good, the teething isn't probably gonna be bad for while yet and dh will cope, he will have to, I'm sure you manage day in day out, dh will definitely appreciate you more when he realises how difficult it can be!

LindyHemming · 07/10/2016 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Saltedcaramel2016 · 07/10/2016 12:30

Yes, please go. It sounds like your husband could do with spending some time with your baby. Also, he has your Dad for back up!!!

Sounds like you will have a lovely weekend away. It will also make your husband appreciate what you do more;)

Notonthestairs · 07/10/2016 12:30

I second Iris, Go! Your DH will cope. I know you think he won't but he will! Its his baby too!
I went to a wedding when my DS was four months - I got back very late (and was useless) so my DH had DS for 24 hours. He enjoyed their time despite DS having terrible evening colic. He also enjoyed everyone saying how marvellous he was (sigh).

Secretmetalfan · 07/10/2016 12:31

Go. Your DH will be fine. He will have to be a dad and deal with what ever comes up. Start as you mean to go on. He needs to do his share, what will happen when you go back to work and he has to do more. Have a blast and prayers for your friend

NewStartNewName · 07/10/2016 12:34

Go, but stop referring to DH/DP as Daddy ffs

Lweji · 07/10/2016 12:36

Go. I did and DS was fine.

worriedmum100 · 07/10/2016 12:36

Absolutely go!

arethereanyleftatall · 07/10/2016 12:38

Go. Absolutely go.

If the babies father can't settle him, it's about time he learnt.

MrsSecker · 07/10/2016 12:42

Ffs!

Ilovetorrentialrain · 07/10/2016 12:47

Go definitely! The only time I'd consider not doing so is if you envisage problems with feeding (e.g. baby's never had a bottle before etc) but if that's not an issue I'd def. go. It might do them both a load of good to have this time together.

Chillyegg · 07/10/2016 12:47

Bloody go.

Your DH is the kids father and needs to suck it up and look after his kid. Maybe it will illuminate how hard it is being a parent and might take more responsibility in the future. The baby will be fine. Calpol and bonjella exist. He will manage.

Sparklesilverglitter · 07/10/2016 12:48

Of course go.

The child will be with his father, not some random. Dad will be fine

Vix17 · 07/10/2016 12:48

Definately go, I thought this the first time I planned to go out but DH actually managed to get DD down quicker than I could and spent a lovely evening watching whatever he wanted on the TV! He has to learn, it might as well be now!

SheldonsSpot · 07/10/2016 12:50

Go.

Stop encouraging and pandering to your DH's apparent inability to settle his child.

It's about time he learned and about time you let him learn.

imother · 07/10/2016 12:50

Unanimous verdict!

foxtrotoscarfoxtrotfoxtrot · 07/10/2016 12:51

When ds was 9 weeks old I was rushed into to hospital dangerously ill. DS was ebf and had never had a bottle. DH had to cope. He had no choice. It was fine. It made him step up as a father and they bonded in a way that DH never had the opportunity to do with dd. They are still incredibly close 2 years later.

You must go. It is only one night.

BluePancakes · 07/10/2016 12:55

Definitely go.

And I don't know if you're BFing, but if you are, take at least double the number of breast pads you normally would use in that period. I went to my sister's hen night when my youngest was about 4mo and halfway through the night, I ended up leaking everywhere and had run out of pads, after discovering I can't hand express.

Have a great time.

PacificDogwod · 07/10/2016 12:55

Go!

Do NOT feel guilty.

You should make sure that your DH gets regular time alone with your child - good for all 3 of you.
Have fun!

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

SnakeWitch · 07/10/2016 12:57

It's only 1 night, if he does have trouble settling the baby he will cope! Have a great time, you need a break from doing all the work by the sound of it. Would he be as concerned if it were the other way around? YABU not to go!

Allatseainthemidlands · 07/10/2016 13:06

Go- your husband will never learn to settle HIS baby if he never has to. He needs to start building that relationship now. And you need a night off! Enjoy yourself

NapQueen · 07/10/2016 13:08

Go.

Dh and DS need to learn how to be together.

Maybe use this as a catalyst for change and carve out some time for yourself.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.