AIBU to wait this out or should I do more? (WWYD)

(12 Posts)
BirdBrain85 Thu 06-Oct-16 19:53:18

Okay this is basically adult friend drama. Who needs it right?

Been really unwell since last week. One of my closest friends (who is self admittedly not very sympathetic in nature) was initially great, dropped me some supplies in etc. Then rang me up on Sunday night, asked if I was returning to work that week to which I said no. My friend then said well that's fine if you're being genuine but not if you're just being a baby about it. I was taken aback to be honest as this friend had seen me so I would have thought knew I was genuinely really sick. I asked if that's what she thought (that I'm being a baby) and she said yeah I think it's a fair possibility.

Now, I hadn't slept for three days/nights at that point, also live alone which I think exacerbated my emotions as I felt at a complete loss with what to do with myself - and I got upset. Not a normal reaction for me when I'm well, and I asked her to apologise - said I felt absolutely shit and could she not accuse me of being a baby right now. She went on to say I was needy and needed to chill out - I admitted I was needy and overreacting but was just feeling so bad and could do with her being nice / supportive.

Left the conversation there pretty much, she laughingly told me to have a bath and go to bed. I text her the next day to let her know I'd seen my GP and had meds so would hopefully be happier soon. Have not heard from her since. We normally speak very regularly, everyday almost.

To give some perspective I have had to return to the doctor again since and am now on even stronger medications, have had a chest X-ray and been signed off for the next 10 days. I'm asthmatic so chest infections / pneumonia happen sometimes unfortunately, but just want to give some idea of how utterly awful I have felt.

I know I was unreasonable for getting upset at such a trivial comment, and feel bad that I might have appeared ungrateful after she had made an effort to drop things into me the day before; but I'm also a little hurt that she hasn't even seen if I'm okay since. I do a lot for her and I feel like when I need her she checks out 😞.

So do I initiate further contact or just leave the ball in her court?

acasualobserver Thu 06-Oct-16 20:49:38

Let it lie until you are completely better. You may decide then that least said soonest mended.

Pigeonpost Thu 06-Oct-16 20:57:18

Leave it. She sounds vile. You may be best well rid. Hope you start to feel better soon. flowers

Thatznotmyname Thu 06-Oct-16 21:30:45

Leave her to it! She's basically called you a liar and made out that you're putting it on! Not a friend in my opinion

Foxysoxy01 Thu 06-Oct-16 21:44:04

It's a tough one, she obviously cared enough to bring you supplies but she doesn't sound like a great, supportive friend if she is basically calling you a liar.

TBH I would probably leave it up to her to get in touch and wait to see if she does.

dinosaursarebisexual Thu 06-Oct-16 22:01:53

Some people have no filter. I'd be using Amazon now for supplies in the future.

BirdBrain85 Fri 07-Oct-16 01:33:42

Thanks guys you've made me feel a lot better - I will wait until I hear from her and leave it at that. Often feel let down by friends in situations like this, but ultimately at least it tells you where you stand and what to expect (or not expect) in the future from them.

Haha dinosaur I like the Amazon comment 😂.

Italiangreyhound Fri 07-Oct-16 02:10:49

Yes, let her get back to you. To be honest I think she may not have realised how much she upset you, she doesn't sound very sensitive.

tofutti Fri 07-Oct-16 06:55:59

I would take a step back and stop doing as much for her.

I think it's right that you let her know when she has upset you.

HKHKHR Fri 07-Oct-16 08:39:15

She's a fair weather friend. Ultimately it's for you to decide if you can accept this or not but as PP said you can wait until you are better to make decisions.

Hope you feel better soon.

ecuse Fri 07-Oct-16 18:51:28

It's possible to be genuinely ill and also a bit of a baby - I speak from personal experience grin. Leave it till you feel better and then reflect on how you feel about it. I'm always getting butt hurt about perceived or real but minor slights when I'm poorly. When you're feeling more normal you'll be able to decide if she was really rude or just a bit cheeky to an old mate.

BirdBrain85 Sat 08-Oct-16 13:15:07

Haha thanks Excuse! I was definitely in a low place at that point and would normally have let the comment go by. I've still not heard from her, thinking I might call her later although I am of course sticking my neck out if I do. Knowing her though she will probably say she was waiting to hear from me when I'd sorted myself out / manned up.

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