To tell my DM to shut up?

(18 Posts)
lalaland1985 Thu 06-Oct-16 18:52:39

I'm still in my first trimester (dragging) and we have only told our parents.

Since I told my DM about my pregnancy she has been over excited. It's her first GC and she's over the moon. I get all that and can deal with it.

What is annoying me is her telling me her pregnancy horror stories. It's not like I don't already know them' she went on about it continuously throughout my childhood and adolescence. I do get the feeling they are exaggerated or at the very least dramatised but I'd never say that to her.

She had various complications however she was also not fit and healthy due to being very obese during and after all her pregnancies,

AIBU to tell her I don't want to hear about her health issues from way back when or about emergency c sections and the aftermath? AIBU to tell her that I'm hoping for the best and that she's being insensitive laughing when I say I hope I have a natural birth and intend to breastfeed. (We were all FF)

It's doing my head in!

MoreGilmoreGirls Thu 06-Oct-16 18:58:40

YANBU. Tell her she is being really insensitive and every time she brings the subject up just tell her you don't want to hear it. I had 2 natural births and BF both my boys. Have a look into hypno birthing. Good luck and enjoy the eat of your pg flowers

MoreGilmoreGirls Thu 06-Oct-16 18:59:17

Rest not eat!

JellyBelli Thu 06-Oct-16 18:59:59

YANBU. Is she usually that unsupportive?
Congratulations flowers

Justmuddlingalong Thu 06-Oct-16 19:03:16

She's making your pregnancy all about her. Tell her to zip it so that you can enjoy your pregnancy. Will she tell you how to parent too, when your baby's born? If so, nip it in the bud now.

Planty18 Thu 06-Oct-16 19:05:43

Yanbu. Everyone's experience is different and there is no reason to share horror stories with pregnant people, used to drive me insane, but lots of people do it so you really don't need it from your mother. I've had two births without intervention and breastfed too so it is very much possible!! Hypnobirthing I would second too.

Dontpanicpyke Thu 06-Oct-16 19:07:20

How silly and insensitive. My dils mum is like this and tries to include me in her comments like 'how funny she's no idea what's coming to her' I just ignore her and feign deafness.

Tell her to zip it. Get your partner on board too

lalaland1985 Thu 06-Oct-16 22:52:41

I wouldn't say she is very supportive. She thinks she is but always tries to link things to herself and her experience. She can't deal with anything 'real' - just prefers to sweep it under the carpet really. We have a somewhat bizarre relationship.

lalaland1985 Thu 06-Oct-16 23:09:41

Even when I told her about my pregnancy I got the impression she was happy and excited for herself but not for my DH and I. I'm not sure how to describe it!

Oysterbabe Thu 06-Oct-16 23:18:59

Tell her that medicine has moved on a lot in the last 30 years and you have no reason to believe history will repeat.

missm0use Fri 07-Oct-16 00:53:36

Best to be honest with her now about how she's making you feel. Otherwise it will just build up and you'll end up having a massive fall out.

Although I'm not sure what it is about seeing a pregnant woman or finding about someone's pregnancy makes other women desperate to tell their birth horror stories. Used to make me feel so angry esp when strangers did it.

Oh and I had textbook perfect pregnancy and a complicated birth - suspected cord round the baby's neck & treated for sepsis - I delivered naturally and still BF my DD who is 8.5 months.

JulietteL Fri 07-Oct-16 10:30:34

My MIL does this. I must have heard her birth stories a hundred times over the last 9 months. I've become an expert at "nod, smile and firmly change the subject".

AgathaF Fri 07-Oct-16 10:55:32

Yes, definitely tell her to button and why. She's very insensitive.

StrongerThanIThought76 Fri 07-Oct-16 12:28:02

My exMIL had 5 kids and my pfb was her 12th grandchild. All her 'advice' was 40 years out of date, and she told me that bf was selfish and I should ff so that they could all 'have a go'.

After pfb arrived I had pnd, not helped by the fact that she hardly ever visited anyway, and my own parents lived 200 miles away. Her continued bullying actually focused my determination to bf, and - eventually, and with a lot of professional support - we cracked it.

I'd get her told!

altiara Fri 07-Oct-16 12:36:44

Cut her off when she starts taking about it again with "oh you've already told me that old story a thousand times". If she doesn't get the message, YANBU to tell her to zip it and you want to enjoy your pregnancy and you were hoping she'd be more supportive that scaring you.

Ohyesiam Fri 07-Oct-16 13:35:43

Tell her you've become "really over sensitive" due to hormones and you can't beat to hear pregnancy horror stories. I stopped lots of people like this during my first pregnancy.

Ohyesiam Fri 07-Oct-16 13:36:04

Bear not beat

Atenco Fri 07-Oct-16 14:54:09

I don't know why people do that, but rest assured, OP, there are millions of women out there, like myself, who've had easy births. Congratulations by the way!

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