To have been a bit hurt

(12 Posts)
wewereonabreak1 Wed 05-Oct-16 20:39:01

I have a DD who's 2. My friend has a DS who's also 2. I made the decision to go back to work full time when my DD was 1 and my friend decided to be a stay at home mum. Both happy with our choices.

Anyway, I bumped into her yesterday after I had collected DD from nursery. I was conscious that DD was tired and hungry and I wanted to get home. I mentioned to friend that I needed to get DD up the road for her dinner (after chatting for about 5 min) and suddenly her attitude changed. She literally sneered at me sarcastically "oh yeah you're always rushing off because you're soooo busy, aren't you? Rushing about here and there." All I could say to her was "well I've been at work all day and I'm tired and so is DD so I'll see you later" I left the conversation sharpish.

I guess I just feel a bit hurt.

AIBU?

DerekSprechenZeDick Wed 05-Oct-16 20:40:58

Have you ignored her since having kids or going to work?

Sounds like she might mean you are always too busy to meet up?

Did she actually sneer?

WhatsGoingOnEh Wed 05-Oct-16 20:41:17

Yikes! She sounds like she's lonely, fed up, tired, insecure and misses you. (Or she's a bit nuts. But lets assume not, if she's been your friend for ages.)

Can you invite her over for afternoon tea on Sunday and gently find out WTF that was all about?

Lovewineandchocs Wed 05-Oct-16 20:42:28

YANBU. Is this the first time she has said something like that? I'm guessing she's a bit jealous and insecure, maybe she feels you don't have much time for her anymore?

booksandcoffee Wed 05-Oct-16 20:43:50

It sounds like she has issues. Could she be regretting becoming a SAHM? Either you need to ta talk to each other about the incident or you just move on. Who needs that sort of grief?

Starbright10 Wed 05-Oct-16 20:47:08

I think your comment back to her was quite hurtful too.

I'm sure she was tired and her daughter also tired - no different from you. She prob felt she was still making time for you and you not repicricating.

Do you make time to catch up on the weekends? If not she's prob feeling a bit neglected.

Probably both of you are feeling a bit sensitive about your respective decisions and it's built up to this

Starbright10 Wed 05-Oct-16 20:48:59

Def agree meet up have a coffee together and gently ask her what she meant and if you've upset her

wewereonabreak1 Wed 05-Oct-16 21:05:38

I see her some weekends and I'll offer to take her DS wth me if she wants some alone time at the weekend.
starbright telling someone why you're tired is hurtful? I had been at work all day (and my husband has been working away in the US for a week) so I am literally a walking zombie. She knows this and this was what she thought was appropriate to say. The more I think about it the more angry I get.
She might well be a bit insecure but I could never ask her as it would be incredibly patronising sad

Starbright10 Wed 05-Oct-16 22:58:09

It could have come across that you thought your day was more stressful and tiring than hers. Whereas probably she's just as knackered as you if not more - the old staying at home is harder than being at home arguement. Certainly I used to feel I was getting a break going to work!

You guys just need to have a chat to understand the pros and cons of each other's lifestyle a bit more

Aeroflotgirl Wed 05-Oct-16 23:04:59

How was op hurtful towards her friend, she told her she got back from work was tired and taking her ds home! Op friend was hurtful!

JellyBelli Wed 05-Oct-16 23:05:00

YANBU, she sounds pretty childish.

Ohyesiam Wed 05-Oct-16 23:06:39

Well it could have come across differently to how you meant it, but the bottom line is you meant it on a neutral factual way, and she made it into something else. She could well be cringing at herself. Check it out with her this weekend?

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