School runs arent that difficult?

[Mildinsanity]

AIBU?
My DP and I work full time with a 1.5hr commute eith way so DCs dad comes and does the childcare/ school runs etc.

End of last term I recieved a letter from the school saying the DCs are repeatedly late in and if it continues they will make a report to the welfare people.

I spoke to DCs dad and he apologised and said it wont happen again and he'll ensure they get there on time.

Which brings us to today, I have a very rare day off work (own buisness so DP and I schedules are usually jam packed to try and make ends meet) and DCs dad says he will still do the school run.
He arrives at 7am as usual and gets the kids up so I can try and get some rest.
8.50 and they have only just left (school starts at 8.50 and its a 10 minute walk).

Now it could be they are having a particulary bad morning but I dont believe thats the case.

I went downstairs to hurry them up at 8.30 because I know they should be ready and leaving and they werent even dressed ready, I hurried them to get dressed as they were apparently ignoring their dad but he didnt seem all that bothered to encorage them as he was outside with a fag.

If this is what it is like everyday no wonder they are late, he just doesnt seem bothered and says they wont listen to him.
I think its his job as a parent (he doesnt work btw) to make them listen and ensure they leave on time.

AIBU to think it doesnt take nearly 2 hours to get 4 DCs (3,6,7,8) ready for school?

[FeliciaJollygoodfellow]

YABU. Don't underestimate the sheer level of faffing that goes on.

My boys can be up and ready at six of a weekend but come school days they just can't seem to get focused. I suspect those that are are the minority!

[TheColonelAdoresPuffins]

I think it's harder than you think getting small kids out the door in the morning. Especially if there are four of them.

[abbsismyhero]

Well if he is outside having a fag he really isn't trying very hard is he

Have you thought of a childminder instead of him

[TheColonelAdoresPuffins]

I think you need to take a day where you do the school runs yourself. You might be surprised at how hard it can be

[littlepeas]

Do you get as much as possible ready the night before? In my experience, that is the key to a smooth school run.

[bingisthebest]

I think it's hard but I do manage to get my 2 aged 6&7 to school on time every day. I also have a 2yo and work pt. I see the same parents being late every day and I think j it just becomes a habit. Just need to get into the habit of leaving earlier. It definately can be done.

[Flanderspigeonmurderer]

I can stand over my son and tell him to get dressed 20 times and still it takes him five minutes to get a sock on. Kids get very easily distracted. What time do you leave? Do you do anything to get them ready before you go?

[TheColonelAdoresPuffins]

Probably depends how well your kids cooperate too

[abbsismyhero]

I'm a single parent of three by the way my kids get ti school on time for the most part

[petitfromage]

YANBU.
It just requires a bit (ok maybe a lot) of organisation and routine.
DH and I both run businesses too. Alarm goes off at 6:30 am, kids are showered, hair washed, dressed, breakfasted and teeth brushed by 7:15am (they are 8 and 3). DH leaves around 7:20 so they are both in breakfast club by 7:45 and he can be in office by 8.
What the hell does your Dcs dad do with your kids for best part of two hours??? Why do they get away with ignoring him? I don't get why he comes round at 7am then doesn't get them out of the house till 8:50.

[ThomasRichard]

It sounds as though you will need to make alternative arrangements for getting the children to school e.g. you & DP get them up and ready and take them to a childminder or school breakfast club.

[seaweedhead]

I agree with you, it absolutely should not be that hard to get them ready and out of the door on time, especially as its only a 10 minute walk. Yes children do like to faff about, but it's a parent's job to nag them into action.

[dustarr73]

I have 3 ds 5,6,8.I find if i get them up too early there is too much time for faffing.It works better to get them up,dressed and straight out the door.But if you have never done the school run some mornings can be very hard.

So rather than lying in bed giving out,you should have got up and got them ready and gave their dad the day off.

[petitfromage]

Agree littlepeas, I have to have bags, games kits etc all by door the night before and uniforms, socks shoes all ready before bed so there is no opportunity to faff in the am.
You only do the 'whoops pe kit is still wet in the washing machine' once...

[ICancelledTheCheque]

I manage to get four children ready for school and out of the house by 7:15. I take them myself once a week.

We are 15-20 minutes early to each school and they attend two separate schools. The school run really isn't that hard.

[TheColonelAdoresPuffins]

What you could do is take the day off work and get the dad to come over and show him how you get them all ready and out the door on time yourself while he watches. He can then try and recreate that himself.

[Mildinsanity]

I will just add up until 4 months ago I was doing the school runs myself so I know what its like I was a single parent for a long time previous to this.

I sort out the uniforms and packed lunches the night before as well so all he has to do is get in, get them dressed, brush the girls hair/ teeth and get them to school.

[newmumwithquestions]

I was on your side until this statement I think its his job as a parent (he doesnt work btw) to make them listen and ensure they leave on time.

He's not their parent. You and your DP are. Do you pay OHs dad? If not it's none of your business if he works or not. Your kids, your responsibility. Can you and DP arrange it so you are doing some of the school runs, identify where the slow points are and do something about them? Then maybe your DPs dad will get an easier ride on the days he does.

[papayasareyum]

I'm a bit confused about the arrangement you have here. You have a dp, but your ex, the dp's Dad, comes does all the childcare and school runs, from your house? Does be have a job?

[TooGood2BeFalse]

With respect though, a lot of parents have a long commute but do morning childcare and school runs also. While I agree that it sounds like DCS dad obviously doesn't have everything under control, I don't understand how it took you until 8.30 to go down to help when you have already received a letter threatening a report to the welfare people.

[Mildinsanity]

Dustarr - He gets every weekend to himself, I work 6 days a week more often than not and on my days off on a sunday I get up and look after my children... do you suggest that Im not allowed a break either?

[MargotLovedTom]

Well it's all subjective isn't it? Some people will find it hard, some people will tell you it's easy. Some children are more cooperative than others.

The situation as it stands is obviously not working though!

[newmumwithquestions]

Oops sorry I got confused about who was doing the school run! It's DCs dad not your DPs dad (who I assumed was GP). Sorry. In that case YANBU

[dustarr73]

I read it as her ex but the kids dad does the school run.Her current dp and her dont have kids.

[PeppasNanna]

I think you need to make new arrangements.

Do your exdp comes to your house every morning?

Cant you start the routine earlier?

Have them ready & he does the actual school run?

Lots of ways round it. Ultimately you will be dealing with Education Welfare shortly, if you don't make new arrangements.