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AIBU?

To move the dc out of their big bedroom?

18 replies

DetailedConfusion · 01/10/2016 23:06

We're expecting dc3...very early days, i'm only 8 weeks so far and it's been a bit of a 'surprise' (read - very unplanned).

Anyway, we're going to be moving in 2018 when we're out of the fixed rate mortgage. We're currently in a 2 bed house and another dc is going to be a squeeze, but it will only be for a year.

The problem we have is that ds1 and 2 (aged 8 and 6) currently share the biggest bedroom. We switched with them about 4 years ago because it just made sense - they have a huge double room, only bunkbeds in there so they have loads of floor space and room to play.

Dh and I have the 'small' double, which is fine for us - it fits a kingsize bed, our wardrobes and bedside tables, with a couple of feet of space around the bed. We don't need anything bigger...or didn't. But we will massively struggle to get a cot in there. It could be done but with huge difficulty and only by losing a bedside table (or two) and pretty much all available floor space.

So we've thought about switching back (obviously in a few months, it won't be necessary until about March). The smaller double is plenty big enough for the dc but they really won't have anywhere near the space they're used to.

Is this a really bad idea? Are the dc going to feel resentful or jealous, like the baby is kicking them out of their big room? AWBU to consider it and should we actually just cope with the baby squeezing into our current room?

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Masketti · 01/10/2016 23:42

If you're going to do it make sure you do it sooner rather than later to create a bigger gap between 'kicking them out for the baby' and the birth.

Is there a new piece of furniture or large shared toy you could introduce into the new bedroom to sweeten the deal?

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PinkSwimGoggles · 01/10/2016 23:47

just do it.
it's the sensible thing to do.

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mayhapps · 02/10/2016 00:09

Definitely worth doing if you're selling up too - people expect the the master bedroom to be the bigger one.

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FeelingSmurfy · 02/10/2016 00:38

I would do it now, not mention the baby and hold off getting a cot so they dont connect it

I would just say you are having a mix up, you are swapping again, and then quickly focus on what colour they want their new room and what posters they would like. Paint and posters won't cost much but it gives them something positive to focus on and get excited about, and makes the room their own

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DetailedConfusion · 02/10/2016 07:46

Thank you for the responses. Mayhapps that was something else we considered, that it would be better to have the master bedroom as the master for potential buyers.

I hadn't actually thought of doing it sooner so they don't connect it - I was mainly thinking we'll do it as late as possible so that they get use of the room for as long as possible.

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ollieplimsoles · 02/10/2016 07:51

Going against the grain- I wouldn't do it.

Would a cot in your room really be that difficult?

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OliviaBenson · 02/10/2016 07:59

Could you not look to move now? You can usually port your mortgage so you wouldn't have to wait for the fixed term to be up if that is the reason for delaying it.

I would swap now though.

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NattyTile · 02/10/2016 08:05

Do it, and do it sooner as others have said. Apart from anything else, trying to move furniture once you're getting bigger is going to be even harder.

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abbsismyhero · 02/10/2016 08:15

im doing this to mine and im not even having another baby they have bunkbeds now and will have enough room in the smaller bedroom ive just told them this is what will happen and moved onto decorating ideas

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DetailedConfusion · 02/10/2016 08:17

Olivia we've looked at money to see if we can move but it would be too tight. I have another two annual bonuses due before we intend to move in Summer 2018 (they won't be affected by maternity leave) which will be a big chunk of our deposit.

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Laineymc7 · 02/10/2016 08:22

I think children are pretty adaptable. There will be three of you in the big room so it makes sense you swap. They can maybe choose the colour of their new room and some decorations. That will make it more fun for them. They will still have some floor space and I'm sure they'll just be as happy. I'd probably do it sooner rather than the last minute so it's done and they have time to settle in their new room.

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PonderingLikeAPond · 02/10/2016 08:25

We are just about to swap with our dc so they have the big master bed. If (and it is most certainly not in our plans!) Another baby came along we would wedge a moses basket or crib in the small room with us for as long as possible and once outgrown the cot would go in with the kids.

If you are planning on selling up in 12-18 months from now the baby will more than likely only be in with them for 6 months.

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AmberLynne · 02/10/2016 08:28

I'm also going to go against the grain on this one.

Since it's going to be for less than a year, how unbearable would it be to stay as you are until you move?

Your DC are old enough to figure out why you've swapped. And for such a short period of time, it might be more stress than it's worth.

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RedHelenB · 02/10/2016 08:31

As a house buyer I would think the house too small if the master bedroom was having to be used for the children so I would swap back.

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MargotLovedTom · 02/10/2016 08:32

I would move them. They're not toddlers; they're old enough to grasp why it's a necessity and they will still have a perfectly decent bedroom.

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FrancisCrawford · 02/10/2016 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmberLynne · 02/10/2016 08:52

We don't know your DC Detailedso it's difficult to make a measured call.

Do you think your DC are going to feel jealous or resentful if you move them?

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MooseAndSquirrel · 02/10/2016 09:25

I echo pp of doing it sooner rather than later. Using the move as the reason so there's no connection of giving up their room for a baby.
id tell them the man helping me get the house ready to sell told me we should, to pass the blame

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