Name changed obviously.
I moved my dc school over a year ago to a small private school. At first it was all "ooh what lovely clothes" or whatever , but as soon as I started turning up in my working clothes there pretty much turned up those noses. (I work with farm animals and although never am dirty, I'm not in my "fancy" clothes). I just always got the feeling they (staff and parents) just thought I was riff raff.
Anyway I couldn't care much about that as it only affected me (head literally made a disgusted face when I rushed into parents evening in my tracksuit bottoms - I had to go lambing literally directly after)
So, anyway, my ex rocked up and decided to play games - playing hard done by and needing information. He uses it to harass me and I told the school please don't give him information. I didn't hear anything back so presumed they were going to stop.
I organised an assessment for dc1 because he has always had somewhat challenging behaviour - first noted at the refuge I went to away from my ex 5 years ago, and it's because of this I had to move his school to half the class size etc. Anyway they told my ex and organised the date with him and he told them to send me the bill (£750). It was I who had instigated this (because I've been worried about dc for years). They accidentally called my husband thinking it was my ex confirming the "go ahead". Obviously he had no idea what they were talking about and said call me. They didn't. When I called them about something unrelated I mentioned that they called my husband and what was it for - then they told me. The assement had been authorised by my ex but they were worried about how it would be paid - further digging showed he had told them to go ahead but Bill me, but he couldn't afford it and he doubted I could either. When I questioned him he started giving me abuse and saying dc didn't need any assements (he had no idea what it was for however, he just saw it as a chance to interfere with me) and i www a fuckwit mother etc. I said if he wants to authorise it behind my back (so I never would have known the date etc) then he could pay. He then called the school and cancelled it all.
So, I said to the school that why did they involve him as he doesn't have custody and wasn't anything to do with it - I had had a meeting with them at th end of last term to set this up and somehow they went to him to authorise it, we're going to Bill me and also let him then cancel it all without involving me. I then got a shitty email back saying they legally can tell him what they like until I have a court order.
I am going to court soon (my ex has a big history of games with me and dc and this was the straw that broke the camels back - he's never even been to the school) so until then I can't tell them anything because they seem to be getting a kick out of it.
My dc vomited at school and no one called me, so I kept dc off for 48 hours. They called me on the first morning demanding to know where he was so I said "he was sick on the carpet and informed two staff members and they told him to clear it up, however no one called me". They denied it and said he stuck his fingers down his throat (???) and expected him back that day or the next. He didn't look well so I kept him off the second day, as I had been sick also a few days before. I just listened to a message on my voicemail from that second day saying if I did not explain myself to them they were contacting "dad" to find out where dc was (??????!!!) . It was just the whole tone, I had already said I believed dc when they said they were unwell but still they wanted an excuse to give more info to my ex. They never are with him so he wouldn't even know - they should call my husband (who I had put on the records) if anyone.
They have started to refer to me as "Mrs ex" with a little shitty tone too.
My DC was also kicked by the parents committee s dc and I sent in the pictures of the bruises but they just ignored it. They removed my DC from an 11+ practise exam because he wasn't sitting it via their school (they never informed me that's how they did it) the day before his real exam and everyone was laughing at him saying he couldn't do the 11+ and was too stupid etc. In three parents evenings they never mentioned it despite me talking about the grammar options I was hoping for then blamed me that I didn't come to the information evening (i trawled through every email and I had no invite and no idea there was ever one).
Am I overthinking all of this? Can they tell my ex what they like? Th assessment was via an external person so it wasn't even exactly related to school but still they told him and not me. I'm so fed up, I'm not a confrontational person but after hearing the message today threatening me with calling my ex (this never happened on any other sickness days, nor unsurprisingly do they feel the "right" to contact them when the fees or clubs and trips money is due". Would they suddenly start getting my name confused with my ex?? It's a tiny school (like 6-12 kids per class) so it just seems odd after a year of being able to use my name they have started this, and that bloody tone they use !!
Wwyd? It's really getting to me
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AIBU?
is this (private) school BU or am I overreacting ?
20 replies
isitmeorthem12 · 01/10/2016 17:32
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