to not give money or presents to any staff at my child's school

(268 Posts)
definetlynotbored Sat 01-Oct-16 09:21:19

I refuse to contribute to staff donations, presents for teachers, staff birthdays etc etc etc.

If others want to do it thats fine. But the day I spend my money buying a present for my child's teacher (who gets paid to teach him) is the day I am in a grave.

It's completely and utterly unnecessary. Would be seen as highly inappropriate in my culture and is just silly.

I would be the first person to help anyone out in a crisis, but I don't give presents or money to class donations/teachers presents and never will and I'm not a mean person...honestly!

I'm not the only one surely? grin.

CitySnicker Sat 01-Oct-16 09:25:21

....I'm sure the teachers wouldn't really give a shit if you did or didn't. Who are you angry with though? The teachers or the other parents trying into organise collections?

Notsure1234 Sat 01-Oct-16 09:25:34

If you don't want to that's fine. It's equally fine for those who do to give a gift. Each to their own.

hesterton Sat 01-Oct-16 09:27:27

As a teacher I totally respect this. Do what you like. Nothing worse in gift terms than a present begrudgingly given.

We don't really get gifts in Secondary anyway!

switswoo81 Sat 01-Oct-16 09:28:12

Don't if you don't want to. I leave a tip to the person who brings me my dinner in a restaurant.

ssd Sat 01-Oct-16 09:28:30

I think you sound like a bit of a misery guts

myownprivateidaho Sat 01-Oct-16 09:29:15

Has someone criticised you for this? You've obviously made your mind up, which is fine, so not sure what the point of this thread is. Obviously you're not obliged to give presents to anyone you don't want to, the whole point of a present is that it's not an obligation!

HardcoreLadyType Sat 01-Oct-16 09:30:06

So don't.

Who do you think honestly gives a shit?

CitySnicker Sat 01-Oct-16 09:30:22

Think it's a thread about a thread.

gonetoseeamanaboutadog Sat 01-Oct-16 09:31:03

I think it's nice to honour the extra mile and genuine affection. You would thank any service provider and not tipping can be stingy.

MrsJayy Sat 01-Oct-16 09:31:34

You sound very angry about this do you not think teachers deserve a gift its up to you of course but your comments are a bit drastic over a 2 quid donation for a christmas/leaving gift.

definetlynotbored Sat 01-Oct-16 09:31:51

I am not a misery guts. I'm a kind person and actually a generous person. Just don't feel it's necessary at all to give teachers presents and must cause stress to poorer parents who wouldn't have much money and felt they had to give something. I'm sure no Teacher would want that.

I will never and have never given money for my Son's teachers as I feel it's completely unnecessary.

I give money to charities, people struggling through a crisis etc.

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland Sat 01-Oct-16 09:33:05

I always gave as I felt the teachers did more than their job description in looking after my children.

But if you don't want to, don't. I doubt if anyone will be interested.

definetlynotbored Sat 01-Oct-16 09:33:48

Its unfortunate but at my Son's school theres a lot of pressure to give money for presents. It's never ending and it certainly adds up. I just don't 'get' it.

acasualobserver Sat 01-Oct-16 09:34:57

Er ... fine. There's no obligation to contribute to gifts like this. Who's going to argue with you? Utterly pointless thread.

WallisFrizz Sat 01-Oct-16 09:35:04

But people who aren't struggling for money that feel that would like to give someone on a public sector wage a nice treat as a thank you for nurturing and developing their child are perfectly valid in their feelings too.

RJnomore1 Sat 01-Oct-16 09:35:08

I don't and I never have except on occasion when a child has seen something they wanted to buy for a teacher. Which isn't always st Christmas or End of term.

oblada Sat 01-Oct-16 09:35:35

People can write about what they bloody want!!

Agree with you 100% - I do not see the need for teachers to get presents. No issue with a Christmas card, I'll give some to colleagues, neighbour, cleaner etc but why would we give presents to teachers? They're paid to do their job! I don't get presents for doing my job! If I thought a teacher had done a particularly excellent job then yes I may give them sth at the end of the year or sth, just like some of my clients sometimes send flowers and choccies when they are rly pleased with the service. But it should be justified, not automatic. Birthday presents? Never heard of a collection for a teacher's birthday!! I hope they don't do that at my DD's school lol

WatchingFromTheWings Sat 01-Oct-16 09:35:42

I've never given money towards gifts. One year a mother was doing a collection for her 2 kids teachers, my 2 kids were in the same classes. She told everyone exactly how much they were to give. It worked out far too expensive so I ended up giving nothing. If it was an option to give whatever you could afford I'd have been able to manage a pound or 2. I just do a handmade thank you card now.

MrsJayy Sat 01-Oct-16 09:36:01

Is there a lot of teachers collections at your childs school? 12 years of my kids im primary school i dont think there was any collections if there was they by passed me

AbyssinianBanana Sat 01-Oct-16 09:37:33

How are you generous to the person who is spending more time teaching your child than you are? If you don't "do" gifts, what do you do to show that person you appreciate if and when they go beyond what is their job description to help your child?

I get a bonus from my employer when I do exceptionally well in my job. Teachers don't.

Brokenbiscuit Sat 01-Oct-16 09:39:06

If you don't want to give gifts or contribute to a class collection, that's absolutely fine. Your choice, and I respect that. No need to call others "silly" for doing so though.hmm

Personally, I think it's good for my dc to learn to thank the people who have helped her, and I place more importance on a written note or card for her teachers than on any material gifts. However, she really enjoys giving a little token of thanks as well, and I'm more than happy to go along with that. Yes, the teachers are paid for doing their jobs, but many of them go above and beyond what they are actually paid for. I think it's nice to acknowledge that, but don't think others should feel obliged to.

Out of interest, would your dc write thank you notes for their teachers at the end of the year, or do you feel they're silly too?

oblada Sat 01-Oct-16 09:39:38

As for the public sector wage - being in the public sector is a) a choice and b) not that bad! The wages may be less competitive but there are quite a lot of advantages too in terms of security of job, involvement of Union etc at the end of the day it's a choice. A lot of jobs are essential to society, for us, for our children, some more so than the teachers (actually every job has its role to play!)!

WantToRunAgain Sat 01-Oct-16 09:39:45

If there is pressure to give it's not coming from the teachers, it's coming from other parents.

Trust me we have far too much else to be concerned about then working out who has given or not given to the end of term gifts confused.

Shadowboy Sat 01-Oct-16 09:40:41

Surely it would depend on whether the teacher had gone 'above and beyond' their role as a teacher?

Kids have often clubbed together to get me gifts but then I teach in sixth form. I've never even heard of parents contributing to staff gifts? Maybe it's a primary school thing. To be honest I'd be a bit embarrassed if they did!

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