To accept being celebate before 40

(2 Posts)
Probableunstoppable Sat 01-Oct-16 00:06:37

It's a long story, but after an extremely first fizzle attraction meeting (and no reaction from me! when he said he was "coming to the end of a relationship") we lost touch. Well many years later he tracked me down, we dated and swiftly married. We both had very exciting jobs which enabled us to travel the world and have disposable incomes. I'm sad to say that I once bought 5 pairs of shoes in a fit of pms... But I hasten to add it was in Singapore a long time ago so probably only £80 - still it felt great for an ex council house kid! Anyway, I gave up my career and income - I then followed him around the world, got pregnant, twice, and now he wants to relocate again. I promised I would follow him wherever, but we have no sex life at all. He's the most amazing father and great around the house. But he says I've "changed shape" yes I've gained about 2 stone and it's all on my belly (still got great legs) but he never made an effort before the babies came along either, he's very "efficient" at the job but he blames it on having very much younger girlfriends before me. When I tried to point him in the right direction he got horribly offended and keeps talking about how I put him off by directing him. Am I destined to a life without orgasms? Or a life without sex, we've had separate bedrooms for a few years now (little one is weaned and sleeping through...) He clearly doesn't fancy me, did he ever? He appreciates that I cook, shop and ensure his and the kids needs are met...He has his hobbies and gives me a monthly allowance. But I'm stuck home with two toddlers far away from family and friends. I should be happy, but he's going away for 6-9 months soon and I'm dreading it. What can I do? He says his sex drive is fine as he pleases himself, again, what about me? Is it up to me to let Peter Pan carry on or can I make this better?

Probableunstoppable Sat 01-Oct-16 00:07:07

It's a long story, but after an extremely first fizzle attraction meeting (and no reaction from me! when he said he was "coming to the end of a relationship") we lost touch. Well 8 years later he tracked me down, we dated and swiftly married. We both had very exciting jobs which enabled us to travel the world and have disposable incomes. I'm sad to say that I once bought 5 pairs of shoes in a fit of pms... But I hasten to add it was in Singapore a long time ago so probably only £80 - still it felt great for an ex council house kid! Anyway, I gave up my career and income - I then followed him around the world, got pregnant, twice, and now he wants to relocate again. I promised I would follow him wherever, but we have no sex life at all. He's the most amazing father and great around the house. But he says I've "changed shape" yes I've gained about 2 stone and it's all on my belly (still got great legs) but he never made an effort before the babies came along either, he's very "efficient" at the job but he blames it on having very much younger girlfriends before me. When I tried to point him in the right direction he got horribly offended and keeps talking about how I put him off by directing him. Am I destined to a life without orgasms? Or a life without sex, we've had separate bedrooms for a few years now (little one is weaned and sleeping through...) He clearly doesn't fancy me, did he ever? He appreciates that I cook, shop and ensure his and the kids needs are met...He has his hobbies and gives me a monthly allowance. But I'm stuck home with two toddlers far away from family and friends. I should be happy, but he's going away for 6-9 months soon and I'm dreading it. What can I do? He says his sex drive is fine as he pleases himself, again, what about me?

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