To think this a good reaction to getting told off by the Manager

(21 Posts)
definetlynotbored Fri 30-Sep-16 19:44:09

So my friend at work has been told off by the Manager for her conduct. It was a stand she took on a particular issue that she shouldn’t have got involved with and it has upset some members of the team. She apologised to the Manager saying she suspected things had been exaggerated but she didn’t mean to cause offence. I think there's some jealousy towards her as well. She just kept completely out of the office afterwards but not in a sulking way and was friendly to everyone who came in to the smaller office she had chose to sit in (they both belong to our team).

She sat in the little office rather than the main one as she said she would rather keep out of trouble. I also sit in there and I'm her friend so I guess there was moral support there. One of the older staff members decided to shout orders at her for three days straight. She just replied in a completely normal, friendly voice and did the things she ordered while not engaging in conversation with her unless this woman specifically spoke to her.

The next day the staff member apologised and my friend was friendly to everyone again. Even smiling at the Manager who told her off. She didn't discuss the telling off and stayed in the little office. She’s not mentioned it to anyone but me as we are really close at work.

Im a little in awe really. I’d probably be sat there blanking everyone and giving them evils! haha. Everyone has now apologised and she has forgiven everyone and is back being her usual happy self.

So just so I can take some inspiration from this, what would be some words to describe this reaction? What personal qualities does it show? Would you consider this a positive or negative reaction?

She's a naturally very confident and assertive person day to day.

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot Fri 30-Sep-16 19:58:11

OP, is the friend actually you?

Queenbean Fri 30-Sep-16 20:03:41

This reads in a funny way, is this a reverse? Or is it you?

definetlynotbored Fri 30-Sep-16 20:05:15

No not me. Shes a very close friend though. And not at all what I would have thought her reaction would be. So I'm now interested in what people think.

AnythingMcAnythingface Fri 30-Sep-16 20:25:16

I would label it as being grounded on her own values.

Not caring what others think of her.

Not seeing life as a zero sum game (if they win I must lose/if I win they must lose)

Able to see mistakes as an opportunity for growth instead of a tragedy.

A very well rounded and self-aware person

AnythingMcAnythingface Fri 30-Sep-16 20:26:16

In case I wasn't clear I believe it was a very positive reaction!

Jizzomelette Fri 30-Sep-16 20:28:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jizzomelette Fri 30-Sep-16 20:30:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnythingMcAnythingface Fri 30-Sep-16 20:32:24

hmm
Wow. I'm off... Seriously how the merry fuck can you see this as a negative. Enjoy your bitter debate. Fair play op's friend.

thisismyfirsttime Fri 30-Sep-16 20:37:52

I'd call it behaving professionally in a work environment to continue speaking to everyone and smiling at them instead of giving them evils. And taking herself off to the smaller office too as long as it's something she might do and can do so on a normal day. You said the issue didn't particularly involve her anyway in the first place so since you haven't elaborated it's difficult to know whether she 'should' have got involved in the first place but assuming it wasn't a big lapse in patient care or sexism/ bullying issue it's quite right for her to accept a telling off and to carry on as usual, it's a workplace! Not a playground!

ageingrunner Fri 30-Sep-16 20:40:04

I've been in a similar situation and my nose was REALLY put out of joint, and everyone knew that I'd been told off, which really hurt my pride and made me feel like a silly little girl. I realised though that the criticism was justified, and that I needed to take it on board like an adult and a professional. This included not acting in a sulky way and continuing to interact with everyone else in a respectful manner even though I felt like crying and telling them all to FUCK OFF! I was biting the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying at times tbh. It was shit but I still feel proud of the way I acted, and also surprised that I had the capacity to act that way. It made me realise I had matured quite a lot more than I thought.
Sorry if that all sounds like bollocks, but it's the way I felt.

definetlynotbored Fri 30-Sep-16 20:41:50

She didn't sulk and was friendly the whole time. Going into the little office was just so she didn't say anything else bad by accident.It wasn't sulking.

definetlynotbored Fri 30-Sep-16 20:59:38

*I've been in a similar situation and my nose was REALLY put out of joint, and everyone knew that I'd been told off, which really hurt my pride and made me feel like a silly little girl. I realised though that the criticism was justified, and that I needed to take it on board like an adult and a professional. This included not acting in a sulky way and continuing to interact with everyone else in a respectful manner even though I felt like crying and telling them all to FUCK OFF! I was biting the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying at times tbh. It was shit but I still feel proud of the way I acted, and also surprised that I had the capacity to act that way. It made me realise I had matured quite a lot more than I thought.
Sorry if that all sounds like bollocks, but it's the way I felt.*

This was a really interesting reply. Thank you.

GingerbreadLatteToGo Fri 30-Sep-16 21:01:38

I think you should do your own assignments & not ask MN to do them for you 😂

Jaimx86 Fri 30-Sep-16 21:04:04

An adult should not be 'told off'. Sounds like poor management.

Jizzomelette Fri 30-Sep-16 21:06:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Fri 30-Sep-16 21:13:45

I'm sure I've read this before. Did you post this before and it got deleted?

ageingrunner Fri 30-Sep-16 21:15:56

You're welcome. Even if you do want it for an assignment or whatever, it's done me good to get it out. I haven't even talked to my friends about it tbh. Let it go, let it go etc

whattodowiththepoo Fri 30-Sep-16 21:40:29

I TOO AM IN AWE OF YOUR FRIEND.
WHAT A HERO, HURRAH FOR THEM.

eggyface Fri 30-Sep-16 21:45:18

It's just being normal and adult isn't it? Dude gives you feedback at work, whether positive or negative, you remain professional. Work isn't personal.

TeaPleaseLouise Fri 30-Sep-16 21:59:25

Ha GingerbreadLatteToGo this took me right back to writing assignments too grin

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