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AIBU?

To not want MIL to kiss my baby on the lips?

153 replies

Firsttimer82 · 29/09/2016 20:40

To be clear I have no problem with parents who kiss their babies/children on the lips, but we never did it in my family. We cuddle, there is a lot of formal and informal forehead kissing that goes on and plenty of cheek kissing. I have DS who is our only child so far and apart from when he launches himself open mouthed onto my face at random like babies do I have not gone in for lip kissing. I hadn't really thought about it until this week.

MIL has been to stay and has repeatedly grabbed the baby and kissed him on the lips. AAAArrrrrgh!!!! Ds clearly doesn't like it and I said to dh in the spirit of you control your parents i'll control mine, to get her to stop. He said "I'll tell her if she does it again." She did it again and no word from dh. It was all I could do to not push her onto the floor Miranda style! AIBU? Its flared up my instincts!!! How do I stop her?

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Firsttimer82 · 29/09/2016 20:41

DS is 10months so not tiny and MIL has no coldsores I can see.....

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TaliDiNozzo · 29/09/2016 20:42

I suspect the majority of people will tell you you're being a bit silly, but this makes me a bit uncomfortable as well. I'm not sure why. I'm not from a lip kissing family either though.

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user1471517900 · 29/09/2016 20:43

Sounds terrible. I'd cut this horrendous person out your life immediately. I'm almost in tears at how evil she's being

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janethegirl2 · 29/09/2016 20:44

Just no, lip kissing babies is not good, I'd go ape.

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ollieplimsoles · 29/09/2016 20:45

Oh Christ YUCK!

Id say something

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Sunshineonacloudyday · 29/09/2016 20:46

FFS another one complaining ask her to get tested for rabies while you're at it.

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pinkbouqet · 29/09/2016 20:46

I kiss my daughter (6 months) on the lips as does my DP. MIL doesn't.
My mum always says to her "Nanna kisses you on the cheeks and nose, Mama and Dada kiss you on the lips"
My daughter has a habit of grabbing faces for a lip kiss Grin

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PotteringAlong · 29/09/2016 20:47

Why do you need to stop her? Is it because it's not how your parents did it?

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usual · 29/09/2016 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Karlakitten1 · 29/09/2016 20:48

Not an issue, YABU! She is jusy being a loving granny! I suppose it's what you have been brought up with, but I don't find it weird in the slightest.

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BooFuckingHoo · 29/09/2016 20:48

I'm with you OP - I have no problem with people who lip kiss their kids at all, certainly don't think there's anything wrong with it, but we are very much a cheek/forehead kiss family, so I'm not sure why but it would make me quite uncomfortable if my MIL (or my mum for that matter or indeed any other adult) was repeatedly doing this to my DS.

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firawla · 29/09/2016 20:50

Yanbu I would hate this too. If dh won't tell her you might have to, maybe by saying that ds doesn't like it? shame you don't have an older child that you could use to pass on the message as kids can get away with being a bit more blunt!

My mum thinks it's fine to kiss kids on the mouth etc, I've never been a fan of it, so when she ever brings it up (e.g. She might read some of the daily mail type articles about it) then I just bluntly say - well I'm not okay with it for my kids, but it's easier to be blunt to your mum than mil.

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Firsttimer82 · 29/09/2016 20:53

I'd go no contact

Actual LOL.

I don't know why I want to stop her, I just flare when she does it. I think its because ds squirms like he is being grossed out too...

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supermoon100 · 29/09/2016 20:54

I can't believe the stuff I am reading here! Why on earth would you not want a grandmother express love in this way? Is it germs? I don't really understand. Germs are good for you!

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Littleballerina · 29/09/2016 20:56

I'm pleased someone is doing it. Break the awkward cycle.

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Rdoo · 29/09/2016 20:57

I'd call the police and get it logged.

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callycat1 · 29/09/2016 20:59

YANBU, I hate this and it makes me cringe a bit. But I don't think you can say anything!

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Couldashouldawoulda · 29/09/2016 21:04

Ick - I'm not from a lip kissing family either, and I wouldn't like that at all. How about next time she does it and he squirms, just casually saying to her "Ah, DS doesn't like lip kissing, he prefers cheeks!"?

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Firsttimer82 · 29/09/2016 21:08

Yes that seems a bit less confrontational than shoving Couldashouldawoulda...

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JollyHockeyGits · 29/09/2016 21:15

I guess the only important bit it that your DS doesn't like it. She wouldn't like someone forcing her to kiss them, why should it be ok for her to do it to a child? For this reason alone it would drive me crazy. Encourage her nicely to hold back a bit - explain he doesn't seem to like kisses on the lips just now, they sort of freak him out, maybe when he's a bit older...

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LaundryQueenHatesIroning · 29/09/2016 21:16

YANBU, particularly as you have mentioned that he doesn't like it. Maybe time to talk to granny about consent.

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Sunshineonacloudyday · 29/09/2016 21:24

If you're mil kisses you're baby on the lips does dh do the same to the baby. It sounds like he comes from an affectionate family. If he was brought up like that he probably sees nothing wrong with it. I would be careful of other peoples feelings like you're dh and mil you could look like the unreasonable one.

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Vixxfacee · 29/09/2016 21:25

I wouldn't have that.

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supermoon100 · 29/09/2016 21:49

The world's gone mad I tell ya, it's full of paedophiles and rapists and you're worried about an elderly woman kissing a baby on the lips! Get a grip

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DramaAlpaca · 29/09/2016 21:52

I would hate this, I'm not from a lip kissing family either. I'd have to tell her not to, especially as he doesn't like it.

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