To not want MIL to kiss my baby on the lips?

(154 Posts)
Firsttimer82 Thu 29-Sep-16 20:40:36

To be clear I have no problem with parents who kiss their babies/children on the lips, but we never did it in my family. We cuddle, there is a lot of formal and informal forehead kissing that goes on and plenty of cheek kissing. I have DS who is our only child so far and apart from when he launches himself open mouthed onto my face at random like babies do I have not gone in for lip kissing. I hadn't really thought about it until this week.

MIL has been to stay and has repeatedly grabbed the baby and kissed him on the lips. AAAArrrrrgh!!!! Ds clearly doesn't like it and I said to dh in the spirit of you control your parents i'll control mine, to get her to stop. He said "I'll tell her if she does it again." She did it again and no word from dh. It was all I could do to not push her onto the floor Miranda style! AIBU? Its flared up my instincts!!! How do I stop her?

Firsttimer82 Thu 29-Sep-16 20:41:50

DS is 10months so not tiny and MIL has no coldsores I can see.....

TaliDiNozzo Thu 29-Sep-16 20:42:40

I suspect the majority of people will tell you you're being a bit silly, but this makes me a bit uncomfortable as well. I'm not sure why. I'm not from a lip kissing family either though.

user1471517900 Thu 29-Sep-16 20:43:18

Sounds terrible. I'd cut this horrendous person out your life immediately. I'm almost in tears at how evil she's being

janethegirl2 Thu 29-Sep-16 20:44:01

Just no, lip kissing babies is not good, I'd go ape.

ollieplimsoles Thu 29-Sep-16 20:45:19

Oh Christ YUCK!

Id say something

Sunshineonacloudyday Thu 29-Sep-16 20:46:21

FFS another one complaining ask her to get tested for rabies while you're at it.

pinkbouqet Thu 29-Sep-16 20:46:37

I kiss my daughter (6 months) on the lips as does my DP. MIL doesn't.
My mum always says to her "Nanna kisses you on the cheeks and nose, Mama and Dada kiss you on the lips"
My daughter has a habit of grabbing faces for a lip kiss grin

PotteringAlong Thu 29-Sep-16 20:47:15

Why do you need to stop her? Is it because it's not how your parents did it?

usual Thu 29-Sep-16 20:47:52

I'd go no contact.

Karlakitten1 Thu 29-Sep-16 20:48:11

Not an issue, YABU! She is jusy being a loving granny! I suppose it's what you have been brought up with, but I don't find it weird in the slightest.

BooFuckingHoo Thu 29-Sep-16 20:48:29

I'm with you OP - I have no problem with people who lip kiss their kids at all, certainly don't think there's anything wrong with it, but we are very much a cheek/forehead kiss family, so I'm not sure why but it would make me quite uncomfortable if my MIL (or my mum for that matter or indeed any other adult) was repeatedly doing this to my DS.

firawla Thu 29-Sep-16 20:50:19

Yanbu I would hate this too. If dh won't tell her you might have to, maybe by saying that ds doesn't like it? shame you don't have an older child that you could use to pass on the message as kids can get away with being a bit more blunt!

My mum thinks it's fine to kiss kids on the mouth etc, I've never been a fan of it, so when she ever brings it up (e.g. She might read some of the daily mail type articles about it) then I just bluntly say - well I'm not okay with it for my kids, but it's easier to be blunt to your mum than mil.

Firsttimer82 Thu 29-Sep-16 20:53:29

I'd go no contact

Actual LOL.

I don't know why I want to stop her, I just flare when she does it. I think its because ds squirms like he is being grossed out too...

supermoon100 Thu 29-Sep-16 20:54:39

I can't believe the stuff I am reading here! Why on earth would you not want a grandmother express love in this way? Is it germs? I don't really understand. Germs are good for you!

Littleballerina Thu 29-Sep-16 20:56:37

I'm pleased someone is doing it. Break the awkward cycle.

Rdoo Thu 29-Sep-16 20:57:42

I'd call the police and get it logged.

callycat1 Thu 29-Sep-16 20:59:15

YANBU, I hate this and it makes me cringe a bit. But I don't think you can say anything!

Couldashouldawoulda Thu 29-Sep-16 21:04:25

Ick - I'm not from a lip kissing family either, and I wouldn't like that at all. How about next time she does it and he squirms, just casually saying to her "Ah, DS doesn't like lip kissing, he prefers cheeks!"?

Firsttimer82 Thu 29-Sep-16 21:08:09

Yes that seems a bit less confrontational than shoving Couldashouldawoulda...

JollyHockeyGits Thu 29-Sep-16 21:15:05

I guess the only important bit it that your DS doesn't like it. She wouldn't like someone forcing her to kiss them, why should it be ok for her to do it to a child? For this reason alone it would drive me crazy. Encourage her nicely to hold back a bit - explain he doesn't seem to like kisses on the lips just now, they sort of freak him out, maybe when he's a bit older...

LaundryQueenHatesIroning Thu 29-Sep-16 21:16:45

YANBU, particularly as you have mentioned that he doesn't like it. Maybe time to talk to granny about consent.

Sunshineonacloudyday Thu 29-Sep-16 21:24:13

If you're mil kisses you're baby on the lips does dh do the same to the baby. It sounds like he comes from an affectionate family. If he was brought up like that he probably sees nothing wrong with it. I would be careful of other peoples feelings like you're dh and mil you could look like the unreasonable one.

Vixxfacee Thu 29-Sep-16 21:25:25

I wouldn't have that.

supermoon100 Thu 29-Sep-16 21:49:24

The world's gone mad I tell ya, it's full of paedophiles and rapists and you're worried about an elderly woman kissing a baby on the lips! Get a grip

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