To be pissd off with DP and his mother?

(9 Posts)
CroissantwithCheese Wed 28-Sep-16 16:26:48

DPs family is Spanish and my MIL is very controlling. We had a run in before when I tried to establish boundaries and she stopped talking to me. Now she just tolerates me but has backed off with the controlling behaviour to an extent. We're staying with them for a few days and the way DP explained it to me was that he wanted to show me and LO around his home town. Since we arrived we've spent most of our time with the PIL in their house. We went for a walk yesterday and FIL came along - I've no problem with him and we try to talk to each other, but we don't understand each other. MIL can speak English but now won't because we had the falling out. Today we were supposed to go to a place an hour away and DP announced that the parents would be coming too. I told him I thought we'd be doing some things just the three of us, and he only went and said it to them. Sorry it's so long, I'll get to the point. AIBU to be pissed off that we have to spend all our time with the PIL, where I'm basically sitting in silence with a stupid smile on my face, while they all talk amongst themselves? Is this something I should just suck up and get used to until I speak fluent Spanish?

LemonBreeland Wed 28-Sep-16 16:30:34

They are being rude talking in Spanish. However you are visiting your DP's parents and you don't want him to spend time with them. That seems rather unfair to me. Why shouldn't FIL come along when you go out?

MidnightAura Wed 28-Sep-16 16:32:53

Yanbu!

Your DP should be ensuring the three of you have some time together. Why on earth did he tell his Mother that? If they are talking amongst themselves in Spanish leaving you out, that's bad mannered. Can't you stay in a hotel?

CroissantwithCheese Wed 28-Sep-16 16:36:19

i don't want to stop him spending time with them, I just thought we'd also do some stuff together which would be a lot more relaxing for me. I'm staying in their house so am watching my manners, but I also can't understand anything and can't contribute really. The MIL barely acknowledges me, I'm only there cos I'm BF LO.

UsernameHistory Wed 28-Sep-16 16:41:34

I assume that you both (you and DH) live in the UK, away from his family, culture and language.

You're only there for a "few day". Suck it up Princess.

Griphook Wed 28-Sep-16 16:46:37

Was he meant to make up a lie about why they couldn't come with you?

Tbh doesn't sound like you really wanted to go, from your dh sold it to you comment.

You could always let your dc and dh go alone next time

CroissantwithCheese Wed 28-Sep-16 16:51:42

We both live abroad from our own countries. We met my parents recently and he complained about having to see them so much (once a day for a meal), and they can all speak to each other. Yes next time it'd be better if LO and DP go alone.

Griphook Wed 28-Sep-16 16:57:07

Remind him of that, see what he says

UsernameHistory Wed 28-Sep-16 17:15:01

We both live abroad from our own countries.

Just noticed your name. Croissant. Fromage. Bet you're Dutch! smile

I'd still stick with the point that for a few days you could suck it up though.

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