To cut my husband's ****edited by MNHQ**** with blunt scissors?

(1019 Posts)

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Pinkbabe1 Wed 28-Sep-16 13:11:00

So my husband works shifts and this week it is his early shift - he is gone from the house by 5am. I came down this morning to find he had left his iPhone on the worktop. As I was making breakfast for DC's I pressed the home button on his phone to check the time and saw an unread message from my best friend of 27 years saying "is she in bed yet?".

Now, it's my birthday next week so I thought they were arranging some special surprise for me. So left it as that. Dropped the kids off at school but something was niggling at me, I just had this feeling in my gut. His iPhone has got a passcode which I don't know. On my third attempt, by pure and utter luck, I managed to guess it right and get into his phone. What I have seen has made me sick to my stomach. My "friend" has been sending my husband dirty naked pics of herself - full on legs spread and sex toys involved. There are no replies or conversation from him but then I guess these can be deleted??? I noticed he's saved the pictures to his camera roll also - presumably for quick access. I have no idea if they have met - I can't think straight at the moment it feels like everything is in slow motion

My husband NEVER leaves his phone at home so I suspect this was a mistake. I've currently packed all his bags and I am just about to post the pictures of my "friend" on Facebook with a tag saying "you are welcome to him"

I don't know what to do

SheldonsSpot Wed 28-Sep-16 13:13:13

Just quickly wanted to say - don't post the pics on Facebook, you could get into serious trouble for that.

splendide Wed 28-Sep-16 13:14:15

Well the chance of guessing a 4 digit passcode is 1 in 10,000 so you should probably buy a lottery ticket and hope your streak continues.

It all sounds hideous though. I wouldn't air it on Facebook, keep the moral high ground.

Fanfeck Wed 28-Sep-16 13:15:24

Do not post the pics, you'll be done for revenge porn!

CrazyDuchess Wed 28-Sep-16 13:15:27

Bloody hell - that's must be quite a shock.

Totally not unreasonable ... but could I gently suggest this might be better placed in relationships? I get you are totally angry right nowith but when the anger wears off, that board has been so incredibly supportive to women in your position.

Good luck OP

Ledkr Wed 28-Sep-16 13:15:31

No don't post them but yes pack his bags.
Send the pics back to her with a vom face.
Poor you, it's a horrible shock but you will come out better in the long run.

TaraCarter Wed 28-Sep-16 13:15:46

Don't post the pictures on FB. It'll be momentarily satisfying, but revenge shouldn't be your priority here. You need to be making preparations for divorce, not tipping him off hours early.

x2boys Wed 28-Sep-16 13:15:52

I agree with Sheldon i wouldnt involve facebook at all sorry yoy are going through this.

SoupSpork Wed 28-Sep-16 13:16:00

flowers so sorry about the Situation, must be hard that it's a good friend involved.
But don't post her pictures on Facebook, it's illegal to post revenge porn pics and that moment of revenge is not worth the fall out.

FeckTheMagicDragon Wed 28-Sep-16 13:16:05

Don't post it on FB. Do take screenshots for the divorce and mail them to yourself. Do pack his bags. Do go see a solicitor. Do collect copies of payslips, account details, savings.
I would say do cut his own is off - but unfortunately it's illegal.

Don't put the pictures on Facebook, that would be seriously fucking stupid

ptsleslie Wed 28-Sep-16 13:16:27

Oh my god sad poor you! Please don't post the pictures to Facebook, it'd be you that'd get in trouble. But I definitely don't blame you for wanting to do that! Get rid!! Bad friend and bad partner. I understand how you're feeling, I'm so so sorry xxxflowers

mogloveseggs Wed 28-Sep-16 13:16:32

Definitely don't post the pics even though I'd want to
What a horrible thing to discover.

Minniemagoo Wed 28-Sep-16 13:16:49

I think there are laws against 'revenge porn' which is postinh naked/sexual pictures of someone online without their permission.
Posting the pics is NOT a good a idea.
Take screenshots of all evidence by all means as evidence to use against him. Feel free (imo) to let her know you know and have them.
But firstly concentrate on protecting your home, your children and your rights.

DoItTooJulia Wed 28-Sep-16 13:17:53

Email them all to your own account and do some more digging.

Don't FB them.

Get your shit together and tell someone in RL.

flowers

Pinkbabe1 Wed 28-Sep-16 13:18:15

Splendide - it wasn't that difficult as it was the first 4 digits of our home phone number. He's not the sharpest pencil in the box. Don't feel particularly lucky at the moment.

MuseumOfCurry Wed 28-Sep-16 13:18:44

I'm so sorry. How horrible. Please don't air your dirty laundry on FB, you'll regret it regardless of whether it's legal.

george1020 Wed 28-Sep-16 13:19:52

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Writerwannabe83 Wed 28-Sep-16 13:19:57

Oh dear sad

I completely echo what had been said: do not post those photos on Facebook.

Plus, when people send me photos to my iPhone (via text or Apps) they are automatically sent to my camera roll too so it may not be that your husband saved them on to his but it happens by default.

You must be so devastated that your closest friend, as well as your husband could do this to you, it's just awful flowers

Pinkbabe1 Wed 28-Sep-16 13:20:10

So even if I block out the nudity part of the pics I can still get done for that?

HerRoyalFattyness Wed 28-Sep-16 13:20:55

flowers I'm sorry you're going through this but please don't post the pics on fb. The last thing you need right now is to be in trouble off the police

user1474627704 Wed 28-Sep-16 13:21:03

Well the chance of guessing a 4 digit passcode is 1 in 10,000 so you should probably buy a lottery ticket and hope your streak continues

Except that most people use birthdays or other meaningful numbers that are not hard to guess if you know the person. hmm

Diddlydokey Wed 28-Sep-16 13:21:24

I am not defending your DH. In my phone, the photos automatically put themselves into my camera roll from messages or whatsapp.

Do some more digging and get your evidence ready.

Get some money behind you so he can't empty the joint account if you're wanting him to leave.

Has he been deleting his messages, or just not responding? I wouldn't know where I stand on either tbh.

So sorry - how heartbreaking for you.

Serendipitystardust1 Wed 28-Sep-16 13:21:34

Not that it makes much difference but any photos sent to an iPhone save automatically to your photos (or at least they do on my phone). flowers

GinGinGin Wed 28-Sep-16 13:21:41

Probably irrelevant but if they were sent via Whatsapp, the pictures automatically get saved to the phone's camera roll (it defaults to this, you can turn it off, but I don't think many people do). Like I said, maybe not relevant, but he may not have saved them himself (mind you he clearly hasn't deleted them either has he?!).

flowers

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