Weird one. Should I be narked at this lady for swiping a collection at school and using for another purpose?

(255 Posts)
iJoan Tue 27-Sep-16 12:38:13

Can I preface the post (NC so as not to get me in too much hot water) by saying I have had a pretty shit couple of months so may be a bit whiney and sensitive blush

A friend of my DD's at school got the devastating news that she was DX with a life threatening illness. She's been off school for the last couple of weeks. The family are very sweet and do a lot for others (including me)in the school. I thought it would be a nice gesture to do a collection so we could buy the girl some specific things to keep her occupied in hospital- The budget was £80 and the amount was reached very quickly and folks were very generous.

Unbeknownst to me another girl in another class had to have a routine operation last week which would require her being off school for a couple of weeks.

A lady who is senior in the PTA (who I do not know well) asked for the collection money which was being held in the school office. She told the admin staff that since the second girl was in the hospital the collection had changed (er no it hadn't)and she was going to organise a gift for her.

She spent all the money on the second girl. Leaving me looking like an idiot.

I approached her about it and got a gob full about treating the girls differently confused

I already spent the money on a gift for the original child which was very much appreciated. I am now £80 down and look a bit shady and am finding it very hard to bite my lip whilst the PTA lady is thanked for such a lovely idea!

RANT OVER!

Soubriquet Tue 27-Sep-16 12:41:07

She should have started her own collection and not hijacked yours

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Tue 27-Sep-16 12:41:20

PTA woman needs to reimburse you from her own pocket.
Totally out of order

DoreenLethal Tue 27-Sep-16 12:42:01

No - that is theft!

The collection was not for that girl. You need to speak to the head and pronto.

mouldycheesefan Tue 27-Sep-16 12:42:45

You need to speak to the school business manager about this, the money should not have been given to the PTA lady. Make an appointment asap.

Longlost10 Tue 27-Sep-16 12:43:19

Theft and fraud, solicitors letter might do the trick

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Tue 27-Sep-16 12:43:49

I'd tell everyone what she'd done tbh. That's probably petty and childish, but I'd still do it.

kilmuir Tue 27-Sep-16 12:43:53

Go to the Head. She has no right to do that.

iJoan Tue 27-Sep-16 12:43:55

Yes- thats what I thought- I told the admin team it was nothing to do with the PTA lady and she'd taken the money. They all looked at the floor. sad

PTA lady will not speak to me now and during our encounter laughed when I asked for receipts. When I told her I'd paid for the gifts from my own pocket she told me to collect again angry

YelloDraw Tue 27-Sep-16 12:44:10

The collection was not for that girl. You need to speak to the head and pronto

Exactly.

Also, treating the girls differently - well she has because she has stolen £80 form one girl leaving her with £0 and spent the £80 on someone else!

DoreenLethal Tue 27-Sep-16 12:44:43

PTA lady will not speak to me now and during our encounter laughed when I asked for receipts. When I told her I'd paid for the gifts from my own pocket she told me to collect again

Who the fuck does she think she is?

YelloDraw Tue 27-Sep-16 12:44:46

You could go about it "where has the collection money for [x] gone?" point of view with the school

iJoan Tue 27-Sep-16 12:45:07

Oh god no I'm not going to threaten solicitors or tell everyone- I only know a few anyway. It'll get back to the nice family and be cringey for them. Dh says lesson learned and keep your mouth shut. Meh.

stiffstink Tue 27-Sep-16 12:45:35

I'd make sure that everyone who contributed to Girl 1's collection knows it was stolen, including Girl 2's parents.

WetPaint4 Tue 27-Sep-16 12:46:07

Unbelievable - she owes you £80. You started the collection with a specific child in mind, you bought the gift and now you need reimbursing. Tell PTA woman that you had already bought the gift so £80 (minus your own contribution) is owed to you and if she wanted to collect for a different child she should have done so. You're not being unreasonable at all, you've already spent the money.

myownprivateidaho Tue 27-Sep-16 12:46:18

She was wrong, but I don't know if you can raise it without causing upset for the other girl. If you can afford it, I'd absorb the cost myself. It is shit though.

iJoan Tue 27-Sep-16 12:46:31

Yellodraw- oh bollocks. See, why didn't I think of that? I just stared at her like a wet gapey-mouthed fish.

stiffstink Tue 27-Sep-16 12:46:32

What lesson exactly OP? To let thieves off scot free?

Longlost10 Tue 27-Sep-16 12:46:45

ok, don't go to solicitors, or the head, go to this lady. Point out to her that she has committed a crime, but you will be prepared to keep it quiet if she reimburses you in full.

myownprivateidaho Tue 27-Sep-16 12:46:58

I'd make sure that everyone who contributed to Girl 1's collection knows it was stolen, including Girl 2's parents.
I don't think that would be very nice for either girl 1, girl 2 or their families. They have enough on their plates.

PickAChew Tue 27-Sep-16 12:46:59

I'd be bloody furious.

CodyKing Tue 27-Sep-16 12:47:03

Legally any donations made must be used to the specified purpose - you can not alter the charity or split it etc

In this case £ were donated for child 1 patents may not have donated to child 2 (they Amy not even know her)

You need to speak to the head about the illegal activity and get reimbursed

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Tue 27-Sep-16 12:48:37

Are you in PTA?
Go to next meeting and bring issue up publicly. She has appropriated funds that she had no right to. It reflects badly on PTA.
The committee should make her reimburse you.
I wouldn't let this drop

intheknickersoftime Tue 27-Sep-16 12:48:51

PTA lady is on glue. You need to speak to the head. This should never have happened.

KickAssAngel Tue 27-Sep-16 12:49:07

Speak to the head, and see if the school will reimburse you for the 80 pounds. I suspect that this will lead to a 'no collections without official school permission' type rule.

But yes, the PTA bitch stole your money. If you're lucky the head will 'have a word' and tell her that she shouldn't have taken it and she'll lie and tell everyone the head wanted to thank her.

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