My grandson in danger of exclusion for biting

(187 Posts)
Angiemm2016 Mon 26-Sep-16 22:57:54

My grandson is in danger of being excluded for biting other children. His mum is a single parent who works hard to support him and is doing her very best to be a good mum. Although my son and she are no longer together, he does his best to support her and they are good friends - it was a teenage relationship and he is still in uni and she is now in another relationship. We have our grandson every weekend and he is a lovely boy and well behaved - although prone to the odd tantrum. The head has told her that he'd rather lose one child (our gs) than risk losing four pupil premiums which I feel is a very unhelpful thing to say - shouldn't he be seeking the help of other agencies and supporting our gs rather than threatening to expel? Any advice would be great as we're all worried sick - thanks

callycat1 Mon 26-Sep-16 22:59:15

How old is he?

NeedsAsockamnesty Mon 26-Sep-16 22:59:18

How old is he?

callycat1 Mon 26-Sep-16 22:59:28

Lol

Babyiwantabump Mon 26-Sep-16 22:59:59

I think this is the policy everywhere - it was mentioned at induction for my DS playgroup that any behaviour like that would not be tolerated repeatedly.

How old is the grandson? Can you not explain to him that he shouldn't do it?

Bestthingever Mon 26-Sep-16 23:00:45

You haven't said how old your gs and you've given no background about his behaviour. Without that it's impossible to comment

Blu Mon 26-Sep-16 23:05:30

Tell him to only bite rich kids ?

Sorry.

Ok, in a quite long OP you have told us about your son, her at Uni, all sorts, but nothing about the circumstances of the biting, or how as the adults around the child you are trying to stop it.

Biting is hardly uncommon among young children, but yes , it would be good for the school and family to make a strategy together to try and stop him.

How often has he done it?

PaulAnkaTheDog Mon 26-Sep-16 23:05:38

The head has told her that he'd rather lose one child (our gs) than risk losing four pupil premiums

Really? The head really said this? hmm

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Mon 26-Sep-16 23:09:05

He needs to not bite.

Just tell him not to bite people.

x2boys Mon 26-Sep-16 23:09:50

why is he biting ? my son bites but hes autistic and non verbal so its out of frustration does he do it at home can he tell you why he does it?

Blu Mon 26-Sep-16 23:12:01

Does he bite unprovoked , or because kids have him held down?

Frusso Mon 26-Sep-16 23:16:09

how old is the child?

shouldn't he be seeking the help of other agencies and supporting our gs rather than threatening to expel? perhaps he has? Has gs mum sought help from external agencies? Is there any SEN? diagnosed or suspected?

prone to the odd tantrum mixed in with in danger of being excluded for biting other children indicates to me that there may be more to this situation than you are putting here/aware of. if the head is worried about loosing 4 pupil premiums, then your lovely and well behaved boy has bitten at least 4 children, and most likely more than once you don't threaten to remove a child over one bite, but you do if it keeps happening

x2boys Mon 26-Sep-16 23:16:12

I dont want to use special needs flippantly but are there any and can he communicate effectivley? As i said my sons non verbal at six and his communication is poor so he bites and scratches out of frustration.

luciole15 Mon 26-Sep-16 23:18:30

You need to give more details about your GS. How old? How many times has he done it? Some details of the incidents. Certainly Early Years practice is not to exclude children who bite.

Angiemm2016 Mon 26-Sep-16 23:27:14

Hi - he's four luciole

Angiemm2016 Mon 26-Sep-16 23:29:05

He doesn't have any Sen diagnosed but I notice that he doesn't answer questions at times and has to be told to listen and look at me when I speak to him at times

Angiemm2016 Mon 26-Sep-16 23:30:16

He's bitten people at least ten times - worst being last Friday when he bit another child on the face

tiggytape Mon 26-Sep-16 23:30:25

I'd hope the Head didn't express it in those terms - it isn't about money or funding, it is about the ensuring safety and well being of all children.

Aside from the medical risks if the skin is broken (hopefully this the biting isn't that hard and it is more likely to be bruising), being bitten is a very violent and frightening thing to experience for other children.

It is also something that other parents understandably become furious about - more so than the odd shove or pinch - again because it leaves a mark so seems very violent and is scary for their own child especially if it comes without warning.

How old is your GS?
Has anything been said before in terms of assessments or concerns?

tiggytape Mon 26-Sep-16 23:31:45

So he's just started reception class?
Or is he still in nursery if in Scotland or in England with a September birthday?

QueenLizIII Mon 26-Sep-16 23:33:32

Hang on a minute...there is another thread involving exclusion for a 4 yo biting written by the mother just started.

Is this related?

FirstShinyRobe Mon 26-Sep-16 23:33:55

I'm sure there will be lots of helpful advice specifically about the biting, but can I ask if is it you that has him every weekend or his dad?

Angiemm2016 Mon 26-Sep-16 23:34:29

We've obviously tried telling him not to bite - we've tried all sorts of things - stickers when he's good, no TV when he bites...we are as consistent as possible and he always says sorry but he's done it again today. He gets upset when his friend plays with other children so we've spoken to him about sharing and being kind but nothing seems to be working at the moment

Memoires Mon 26-Sep-16 23:35:12

Biting is awful, it's quite feral, I think that's why other parents find it particularly hard to say "oh, they're only little" about it.

Has he always been a biter? What techniques have been used in the past, and what are you doing to discourage it now?

tiggytape Mon 26-Sep-16 23:35:31

OP resurrected a zombie thread from 2009 by asking a question at the end of it and then started this one to get some advice I think QueenLiz

Angiemm2016 Mon 26-Sep-16 23:35:32

The head actually did use those exact words which is what I find most troubling...

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