I have a friend who I worked with for many years. she's one of those people that everybody likes and everybody wants to be friends with, but she's such a social butterfly that it's rare people actually get much of her time. I'd say we're closer than many are to her so she confides a lot in me.
She recently confided in me that she has been put on performance management at work. To be honest, this isn't a surprise... she's a very intelligent woman but she is incredibly inefficient (think 2 x hour long coffee breaks, full lunch break etc every day in a job that is long hours in any event and full of very ambitious and often irritable people who don't appreciate her never being available for actual work) and isn't really interested in the work so she does do a very slapdash effort at most things. She's there for the money though (its very well paid) and she'd openly admit that... but on the flip side she's scared of change and she had sort of buried her head in the sand previously when she's had awful appraisals and awful feedback. She's likely to be pushed if she doesn't leave, but leaving will probably involve somewhat of a pay cut.
She's also recently learned she needs a major operation. She learned this after she was on performance management by the way so the two aren't related. It'll require 3 months off work, but she will be paid full pay for 2 and half pay for 1. She also has a £50k wedding they are still paying for for next year (don't even get me started on this - but their choice).
Given the above, I'm hearing a lot (i.e. very time I see her) of "i'm worried about money". I sympathise given all the issues set out above - each one does have a clear bearing on their financial situation and it could be an expensive time for her. I'm a good friend and I listen and sympathise.
However - 2 issues with this:
- Her and fiancé earn 200k gross between them and take home around 10k a month. they spend money like nobody's business almost constantly and they are so flash its ridiculous - her ring cost thousands, every meal out isat some foodie or Michelin starred place, she has new clothes from designer shops every week etc etc. I know how much their mortgage costs and its 1/5th of that, so I am completely lost as to how they can possibly really be worried about money!
- Maybe number 1 is short sighted and she lives to her means (many people do) or she deserves the holiday given recent stresses, but she's just come back from a week in a 5 star hotel abroad. They ate out at very nice restaurants every meal and hired a car to drive around. Now, that's all their choice and I have no issue with their holiday but it was booked fairly recently, and what I take issue with is the fact that she's back and immediately moaning about cash yet again. I want to shake her and say "how can you think it's ok to moan about money when you just did all that and you spend what you do!!! and how can you possibly think it's ok to use your medical issue as a 'woe is me' reasoning for said moaning when you clearly didn't care enough about the cash in the first place to not go on this ridiculous holiday or to cut the cost down!
Its none of my business is it... but AIBU to say something? it's really starting to grate on me...