To Declare War On My Beard

(36 Posts)
LadyDeGrump Mon 26-Sep-16 10:59:14

I'm 32. We've had an uneasy relationship since Beard first appeared on the scene, way back in 2005. I tried laser for six sessions back then - high street clinic, probs not brilliant - and if anything that made it worse.

Since then I have perfected a shave and moisturise and foundation routine which has sufficiently fooled people that even close girlfriends squeel when I tell them.

Now I am feckin sick of it. Sick of getting off 17 hour flights and my first thought when baggage is delayed is shit how long is my beard going to be when I get out of here. Also I suspect I am getting more of a five o clock shadow.

Eleven years of uneasy truce with this rebel force is coming to an end. The Empire will strike back and win.

I have an appointment for electrolysis tomorrow but don't know if I can keep that up because if I can't shave between visits I am stuffed for work. I don't have the kind of work friendly to the rebel forces of a lady beard.

It is dark and my skin is pale. No PCOS.

Has lazer improved at all?

Lookinatu Tue 27-Sep-16 08:23:50

Hi op I didn't want to read and run, I have read lots of good things about laser therapy so good luck. I have pcos and I have been told it may or may not work for me. I use vichy foundation which is designed for someone with a birth mark or tattoo so it works well on me but at the end day I still worry like you do.

19lottie82 Tue 27-Sep-16 08:51:20

There are different types of "laser" treatment.

I had IPL sessions at a sk:n clinic about 2 years ago and I'd do it again ten times over. It wasn't cheap, about £300 for 8 sessions, if I remember correctly. It only works on dark hairs. Apparently cheaper treatments aren't as effective. I'd pay it again in a heart beat!

MsVestibule Tue 27-Sep-16 09:50:55

I know you don't have PCOS, but could you have any other hormonal imbalance? It seems really extreme to have to shave every day. When did you last see a doctor about it?

NaturalRBF Tue 27-Sep-16 09:58:38

Mate! This is what mine is like! Never had anything major until I had my daughter and Over a year in it's the same! I get my threaded and it seems to be thinning the hairs.

Kitsmummy Tue 27-Sep-16 09:58:38

Phillips Lumea. I saw it recommended on here and it is amazing. I now have no underarm hair or leg hair. You have the perfect colouring for it too....dark hair, pale skin is best.

LikeDylanInTheMovies Tue 27-Sep-16 10:03:38

I'm 32. We've had an uneasy relationship since Beard first appeared on the scene, way back in 2005.

Are you Katie Holmes talking about Tom Cruise?

LadyDeGrump Tue 27-Sep-16 13:48:26

So I tried electrolysis this morning on a small patch and it was feckin painful. I don't think I can use electrolysis as the first force in this war because I will need two treatments a week and shaving between is discouraged - I don't have that time and I definately can't go to work with more stubble than a male colleague.

I am going to give laser a try again I think, clinic territory not handheld. Women should know their limits, and laser near my eyes in my clumsy hands is mine.

Having spoken to a very lovely electrologist, who assured me that she has seen it all before, what I am going to do is declare war from above with laser and hopefully that will thin out the rubble and make it less visible. Then I will go for electrolysis to hunt out the generals and execute them.

I might go back again for more hormone tests but those would be my 5th in ten years. As the doctor said last time "you are just unlucky...and whatever the cause, the treatment is the same". I actually cried when a battery of blood tests and an electronic dildo in my fanjo confirmed no PCOS - partially relief that I didn't have that to worry about but also the sheer disappointment of still not knowing what the feck is wrong with my body.

On the plus side, the hair on my head grows thick and lustrous too...

LikeDylanInTheMovies Tue 27-Sep-16 14:59:19

Or just buy a fixie bike, sculpt the face hair into a ridiculous parody of an Edwardian beard, get a full sleeve tattoo and a Breton Jersey and hey presto: Lady hipster or a Shipster if you will.

LadyDeGrump Tue 27-Sep-16 15:07:40

Haha, I like that idea LikeDylan

Whether my employer or clients would is another matter mind!

19lottie82 Tue 27-Sep-16 15:12:13

I hadn't electrolysis and all it did was give me spots. As I already advised give your local sk:n clinic a call!

Assam Tue 27-Sep-16 15:16:46

I've given up. Good for you for keeping up the fight. I shave too & carry one of these with me
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/182278907616

Katsite Tue 27-Sep-16 15:19:00

Electrolysis is not the way forward. I would try with the different kinds of laser treatment. Surely they must have improved . Good luck Op. I don't know how many years I have wasted in front of a mirror. ...

LadyDeGrump Tue 27-Sep-16 16:40:26

Thanks everyone, I've bitten the bullet, pulled out the credit card and followed up on 19lottie's suggestion by booking a skn clinic appointment. I'm going to kill the bastard roots before they grind me down any more!

LadyDeGrump Tue 27-Sep-16 16:41:10

But just out of interest, why the warning against electrolysis Katsite?

Katsite Tue 27-Sep-16 20:30:13

Because it doesn't work! The only 'advantage' is that you have to stop plucking at your beard and so will have less pimples on top of the stubble. that is my experience.

19lottie82 Tue 27-Sep-16 20:35:14

Yay OP!

Make sure you let us know how you get on!

Wrinklytights Tue 27-Sep-16 20:42:43

Good luck OP. I don't have a beard, but do have a 'tache (and dark hair everywhere else on fair skin) it sucks.

Palomb Tue 27-Sep-16 20:54:16

My lumea changed my life, I really could not recommend it enough 😊

Pettywoman Tue 27-Sep-16 21:25:22

Don't do electrolysis, it fucking hurts and doesn't work. Thanks for the Lumea tip.

Please report back OP, let UA know how you get on.

9oclockinthemorning Tue 27-Sep-16 21:32:50

I've been there too OP! Electrolysis was time consuming, expensive and pointless. Professional lasering great for a short time but it always grew back with a vengeance, I also thought it made it worse. Too expensive to continue forever.

I got a smooth skin gold (home ipl like the lumea) and can honestly say it's changed my life. It's quick and easy and after doing it weekly for a while I only need a quick zap every month or so now. I even do my arms and bikini line now. Life changing - I was seriously down about my hairiness before. Nothing more depressing than a young woman having to shave her face! Good luck!

meridithssister Tue 27-Sep-16 21:44:07

I too am a bearded lady without any medical reason. I am hoping for some kind of financial miracle so that I can afford the Philips lumea.

I recently bought a 10x magnifying illuminated mirror to help with the plucking / shaving daily routine. It is fucking terrifying.

LadyDeGrump Tue 27-Sep-16 23:31:52

Sad as I am that other women have to put up with this hideousness, pain and expense I am also so fucking glad that I am not the only one!

For years I felt like a fucking monster freak. I will never forget one of the many doctors who confirmed I didn't have PCOS telling me "you are abnormal...I've never seen it like this...we just don't know how".

My current plan is laser treatment, electrolysis to mop up, home laser if that still isnt enough, lots of gin and finally growing a lady hipster beard and no longer giving a fuck...

Juicyfruitloop Wed 28-Sep-16 00:20:34

My sister had ipl laser treatment. It was effective and still hair free two years later. She had lots of tests over the years for PCOS. Eventually she seen an Endocrinology specialist she had a hormone imbalance from an autoimmune disease Hashimoto. Since her diagnosis she completely change her diet and lifestyle, still no return of hair, she like you couldn't cope on a long haul flight, got up really early to conceal, kept the blind down in her office to avoid reflection, she is a new person. Good luck op

WhisperingWind Wed 28-Sep-16 00:41:16

I have exactly the same OP I'm up at night worrying about it and it grows thick and fast. Until now I've been tweeting like a maniac, I'm going to get a lumea.

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