Hi, first-time poster so I don't know any of the shorthand - sorry!
I'm in mid 20s, boyfriend is in early 30s. We've been together 10 months. He is separated from his wife (she cheated and left him for another man) and plans to divorce her. They have a little girl together, BUT she is a treasure and I adore her as though she was my own, so no issues there.
The future ex-wife, however, IS an issue. She keeps asking my boyfriend for more money to support the child, even though she doesn't work and she is raising her new man's child without complaint. My partner, who has a full-time job, is struggling to make ends meet, and he looks after the child on a few evenings each week, as well as weekends - so he's pulling his weight. He does say no to her, but then she starts playing games, which I know is hard for him - especially if his child is involved.
Yesterday was a rare day that we both had some time off, and the child was with the ex. It was meant to be some nice couple time for us. Instead, one text from the ex asking for money, and suddenly, he's in a bad mood and ranting, knowing I'm powerless to help him.
That said, I do make suggestions.
Why not go to court? - Can't afford it (fair play).
Just tell her what you feel - can't risk upsetting her.
I've even suggested that I could move in and help him financially, i.e. pay half of the bills. I'd like to move out of my parents' house (they're great people, but I need my own space), so it would work well for me. But he seems so reluctant to make a future with me. It's always "I want to get things sorted first", which I understand, but he isn't making any real big steps towards that - including getting a divorce finalised. Everything is "someday". Well, how long will it be until "someday"? I don't want to wait forever! I'd like a future with him and maybe even a family of my own in a few years.
I want to support him and be there for him, but at the same time, I want him to be proactive about things. Maybe it's just a quarter-life crisis?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To want him to sort out his past with his ex and look towards a future with me?
44 replies
FancyBookLearnin · 26/09/2016 09:56
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.