To be slightly offended by OH "loving DD more"?

(167 Posts)
Christinedonna Fri 23-Sep-16 18:26:40

DD is 5 weeks old today and upon me asking earlier, OH revealed he loves her more than me. Before anyone gets shitty with me, of course I'm happy he loves her and no I'm not jealous. But would you be slightly offended if your OH openly and happily admitted (and seemed baffled at my shock) that he loves our baby more than me. "I love you both the same" or "what a silly question!" Would have been fine answers, as it wasn't even a serious question until I got such a bluntly honest answer

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Fri 23-Sep-16 18:28:11

Never ask a question you might not like the answer to.

(Seriously why did you ask your OH who he loved more?!)
Congratulations on your new baby flowers

GustyParson Fri 23-Sep-16 18:28:43

Nope, I love my DH but I love my kids more. And I hope he feels the same tbh.

FetchezLaVache Fri 23-Sep-16 18:29:02

Yeah, but I bet you love her more than you love OH, too. smile

TeaBelle Fri 23-Sep-16 18:29:37

Most parents love children completely unconditionally; you may love dh a large amount but there are usually limits to this e.g. expecting him to be faithful to yoy

hidingwithwine Fri 23-Sep-16 18:30:31

I love my kids more than my DH and vice versa. I'd be freaked if he didn't, to be honest. However he's the person I've been married to for nearly 25 years and once the kids leave home it'll just be us again just like we started out. It's a different type of love.

Sparklesilverglitter Fri 23-Sep-16 18:30:47

I don't think as parents you ever love anyone more than your own child.

I've not long had my first baby and I can tell you I love her more than DH she is my child.

Why would you ask who he loves more confused

gamerwidow Fri 23-Sep-16 18:30:49

Nope that's the normal state of affairs. I love DH but not as much as Dd.

HallowedMimic Fri 23-Sep-16 18:30:59

I love my children more than my husband.

I'd say my mother and my children both come before my husband actually.

He feels much the same though, about the children and his own mother, obviously!

arethereanyleftatall Fri 23-Sep-16 18:31:12

I love my kids more than anyone else in the world. I would imagine most people do.

UmbongoUnchainedInAPearTreeeee Fri 23-Sep-16 18:31:23

Of course he loves her more than you hmm

You're replaceable, she's not.

yorkshapudding Fri 23-Sep-16 18:31:29

Congratulations on the new baby. In the nicest way possible, YABU. At 5 weeks PP your hormones will still be all over the shop and you're probably sleep deprived so is it possible that you're feeling particularly sensitive?

Why did you feel the need to ask that question in the first place?

ragz134 Fri 23-Sep-16 18:31:37

In love my kids more than my DH, if I had to choose between them. I bet most mums would say the same... Luckily he has never asked me, but I don't think he'd be upset.

Whatsername17 Fri 23-Sep-16 18:31:53

I love my dd more than anything or any one. Id be disappointed if dh didn't feel the same. Your kids are your kids. Nothing can change that. Relationships can end. I think you are probably hormonal and might feel differently in a few weeks. cake

midcenturymodern Fri 23-Sep-16 18:32:00

YABU to ask someone who they love more.

AmeliaJack Fri 23-Sep-16 18:32:02

It's not the same kind of love though.

I adore my DH. He is my world, however my love for him is conditional. If he hit me, cheated on me, was a murderer etc that would kill my love for him.

Nothing my children did could kill my love for them. It is absolute.

Perhaps that what your DH meant?

Christinedonna Fri 23-Sep-16 18:32:11

It's a completely different love and yes to be completely honest, the love I have for him would never compare to what I feel for her..BUT I wouldn't like to tell him that and especially so bluntly. It was a jokey question, I would never seriously but him in a "her or me" situation obviously but I was just taken back by his instant "I obviously love her more" answer. Maybe hormonal still slightly

arethereanyleftatall Fri 23-Sep-16 18:32:26

Oh - just saw your actual question. I'd never ask him such a question, as I wouldn't want to make him answer, but I presume that he does.

Eatthecake Fri 23-Sep-16 18:32:28

Why would you even ask who he loved more you or his daughter? confused

I adore my DH but I love my DC more, and I imagine a great deal of parents would say the same

Buglife Fri 23-Sep-16 18:33:40

I would expect my DH to love our son more. We could split up one day but I'd never want to think his love for DS could ever end like that. I would not be offended at all if he said that. It's a different love but it's more important than a marriage or romantic love in my opinion.

frankleigh Fri 23-Sep-16 18:33:40

No, I don't think I would be. How are you doing with being a new mum? Have you been worried about him not loving you lately?

I only ask because PND can play on natural insecurities a bit. And hormones too flowers

Littlepeople12345 Fri 23-Sep-16 18:33:55

Sorry but yabu. It's a very odd question to ask tbh

whattheseithakasmean Fri 23-Sep-16 18:34:00

Ask a silly question....

I don't think you can quantify love - I don't love my DH less than our children, that is for sure. DH & I will still be together when the kids have flown the nest (they are nearly away). But our love for each other is part of our love for our children - I couldn't untangle my feelings to quantify it.

Pinkheart5915 Fri 23-Sep-16 18:34:06

How and why does that even come upon conversation? I just don't get it

I love my DH but I certainly love my DC more. There probably isn't ,any parents that don't love there DC above everyone else tbh

BeatrixBurgund Fri 23-Sep-16 18:34:13

Congratulations on your new baby.

I don't see anything wrong with his response. I love my kids more than I love my husband. I won't ever love anyone the way I love my kids; that's just the way things are. And the feeling grows stronger every year.

It's lovely that he's able to be so open and honest about his feelings.

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