"the girls aren't naughty"

[TheSunnySide]

My son (Year 1) told me a story about something that happened in school and said it had to have been done by a certain boy because 'the girls aren't naughty'.

AIBU to think that there's something not right about perpetuating the idea that girls aren't naughty? Also the boy he mentioned seems to be scapegoated by the other children which worries me.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

You sons 4/5 it's up to you to shape his views,if you feel he's expressed things that are not to your liking you get to challenge them.

It does not matter if we agree or not

[Lifeisshort123]

It's not right, gender has nothing to do with a child's behaviour.

[Floggingmolly]

Was he quoting someone, or just stating a fact? It may well have been a simple observation about the actual girls in his class. Calm down.

[arethereanyleftatall]

He didn't say all girls aren't naughty, just that the girls in his class aren't. Which is possibly factually correct.

[WorraLiberty]

Who is perpetuating the idea?

Is it something he's hearing at home or at school?

It's down to you and his dad to put him straight.

[MiddleClassProblem]

In general as a sweeping statement then I would not like this but maybe he is right. Maybe the girls in his class aren't naughty? Are there many?

It's a shame that they blame one child without the evidence but more often than not they know stuff that happens that adults don't see. Might be worth asking if he has actually seen this boy do anything naughty himself or if it has come from friends etc? Maybe encourage him to judge by what he knows is fact by seeing it himself or told by a teacher possibly.
If he says he has seen that boy do some things then maybe he's judging from experience.

[phillipp]

It depends. Perhaps he is in a class where the girls, generally aren't naughty.

Perhaps there is something else at play. But you are his parent you have a huge influence on his views of the world.

Why dog you think it's more likely the other parents are using a child a a scapegoat, rather than the boys is misbehaving?

Perhaps he did do it, perhaps the girls did it. Explain how as he didn't see anything he can't really say what happened either way.

[TheSunnySide]

NeedsAsockamnesty: He is 5/6 and I am teaching him to respect all people regardless of gender. I am surprised to hear him say 'girls aren't naughty' as it is not something I have taught him so I can only assume it has come from school.

[PurpleDaisies]

Did the teacher say this?

Is it his judgement on the particular girls in his class? "Girls aren't naughty" is different to "the girls aren't naughty".

[TheSunnySide]

I probably need to clarify with him if it was 'the girls aren't naughty' or 'girls aren't naughty' then. I only spoke to him on the phone but from memory it was a general view that girls aren't naughty rather than about the girls in his class in particular.

Rest assured that i am not teaching him this.

[SuePermario]

My ds who is 9 has a new teacher this term who assumes all girls are angels and boys are little devils. She sits the whole class in boy/girl/boy/girl for everything, assemblies and lessons etc.. as the teacher assumes boys sat together will be naughty.
This has really annoyed my ds (and me) it's ridiculous

[kilmuir]

Doubt a teacher would say that. I have 3 DD, they care naughty but in a different way to my DS!

[PurpleDaisies]

sue how do you know the teacher thinks like that? Boy girl seating plans are pretty common.

[TheSunnySide]

Phillip "Why dog you think it's more likely the other parents are using a child a a scapegoat, rather than the boys is misbehaving? "

I don't think the parents are. My son mentioned a boy and said it must have been him and I was just a little worried that the teachers might be scapegoating him for every incident. Probably need to clarify it but from what my son said no one really knows who was responsible for the incident but he (my son) said it was probably the boy. I did ask him why he thought that it might be him if no one saw it and his response was 'because (the) girls aren't naughty' which means he thinks it was a boy but for some reason specifically thinks it is the boy he named - despite not seeing it happen. (it was in the girl's toilet - though up to this point I assumed they had unisex toilets so who knows!)

[myownprivateidaho]

Hmm but he may be observing something that's true. Girls can be less naughty than boys. Both male rule-breaking and female rule-following have detrimental effects in some ways, but they are part of a general pattern....

[chitofftheshovel]

Perhaps it has just come from his own observations?
I volunteer with 6 to 8 year old mixed gender children. And in all honesty I've only experienced "naughty" boys. The girls are, at the this age and in my experience, more pliable.

[TheSunnySide]

RE the boy - I suppose what I am saying is that, yes, this kid has been known to be a bit wild and boundary pushing but I doubt he is responsible for every little bad thing that happens and it seems a shame that when an incident does happen it is he that my son assumes did it despite no one actually knowing.

[TheSunnySide]

" And in all honesty I've only experienced "naughty" boys. The girls are, at the this age and in my experience, more pliable."

I would hazard a guess that this is every bit as much to do with socialisation as it is to do with nature.

Which I guess is why I am questioning it being something they might be instilling in the school through gender stereotyping. there's a lot of research out there to show how this kind of stereotyping can be detrimental.

[chickenowner]

Just because your son thinks that this particular boy did it (whatever it is), doesn't mean the teacher thinks so too!

[TheSunnySide]

I think I may have posted in the wrong place and maybe the feminism section might have meant less confusion about my question?

The question I meant to ask was

isn't it wrong that, even when a culprit hasn't even been identified, a five year old would automatically assume that it must have been a boy who flooded a sink in a girl's toilet because '(the) girls aren't naughty' - when anyone with a 5/6 year old does know that girls can misbehave and in fact sometimes things are not done deliberately whatever gender you are?

[Evergreen17]

It sounds like he meant this child had done it as the girls (in the class) arent naughty. In this case I think it is fine.

[CozyAutumn]

That's a very sweeping statement. Girls can definitely be naughty and boys can definitely be well behaved and vice versa. My DS is well behaved at school and his teachers have always had lovely words to say about him both verbally and in his reports. Who'd have thought a boy could be well behaved and pleasant eh?

[Evergreen17]

And yes girls can misbehave as much as boys.

[That1950sMum]

SuePermario Most schools sit children boy/girl. Why are you assuming the teacher thinks this is because of the boys' behaviour? Girls can be just annoying when sitting together.

[manicinsomniac]

Obviously a teacher shouldn't say it and I'm not sure about children this young, but, in my experience, boys are far more likely to be naughty in school than boys. I have no doubt that this is completely down to socialisation and expectation rather than nature but it doesn't alter the end result.

Of course there are angelic boys and naughty girls but it is generally true that, in my classes, the poor behaviour tends to come largely from the boys.

It is also true that boys have a higher incidence of SN that result in difficulties in the classroom. Small children will just interpret these as naughtiness. So the children in your son's class may not be being naughty at all.