Armed forces and pregnant

(16 Posts)
pinkiponk Thu 22-Sep-16 22:55:29

I'm in a job (armed forces), where I'm required to travel a lot (several weeks on average a month, sometimes internationally). The job I do is incredibly busy and can sometimes run into 12-14 hour days.

I'm pregnant (early days, approx 4w). My doctor (also armed forces and aware of my job and all it entails), suggested a 'travel downgrade', so I basically can't do my job as I won't leave my home base. But left it as my choice.

When I'm on the road I stay in service messes, with varying standard! It usually means shared toilets/showers with men (I don't shower with the men), which I don't fancy, especially with morning sickness and needing to wee all the time.

I feel, especially having had a MMC previously I should take her up on the offer, but it would mean I wouldn't be able to do my job and they'd need to find somebody else.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I wonder if I'm being a bit soft and essentially U?

Radiatorvalves Thu 22-Sep-16 23:08:16

I'm ex forces and in your situation I would ask to be downgraded. I doubt very much it will affect you long term....although having children and remaining in the forces is undoubtedly a challenge.

MGFM Thu 22-Sep-16 23:30:27

I am armed forces and have two DC. My career has taken a massive hit since having children but when pregnant if I enjoyed the job I would probably wait until 4-5 months before I asked for a downgrade. I travelled occasionally when pregnant and it never bothered me to use the unisex showers etc. If you end up with bad morning sickness then you can re evaluate.

pinkiponk Fri 23-Sep-16 06:58:29

Thanks for your replies, it sums up my problem, in my head I think just get on with it and then I think no it's too much! I have one ds already, often on my own with husband away, which makes of harder.

Next week I've got a 6 hour drive, 2 flights, 5 hour flight and 3 14 hour days, and that continues the next week as well, I just don't think I can do it as I already feel like cramp (tired and nauseous).

I've pvr'ed (put notice in for non military) anyway (something better has come up!), so my last day in service is in march, so it would only mean the downgrade till then.

positivity123 Fri 23-Sep-16 07:04:37

Sounds like you should do it. Don't risk your health in this situation, you'll regret it. Congratulations on the pregnancy

pinkiponk Fri 23-Sep-16 07:16:54

I'm starting to agree with you, my DH has begged me to accept the doctors offer, his point was that she wouldn't have encouraged it if she didn't think I needed it. I know Il feel guilty doing it tho!

Namechangedforthis4 Fri 23-Sep-16 07:27:05

If you have handed in your notice they will have to find someone to do your job anyway. I don't work in the military but have long ago learned to never put your job before your health. Give yourself the opportunity to relax a bit, why put yourself under more pressure

pinkiponk Fri 23-Sep-16 08:45:05

Name- you're right, they are already looking for someone else. They've just got a rediculous notice period (1 year). I should put myself first (and my baby more importantly).
I think if I hadn't had a MMC before I wouldn't give it much thought.

FlipperSkipper Fri 23-Sep-16 08:51:24

Do it, especially as you're leaving. You need to put yourself first.

AGruffaloCrumble Fri 23-Sep-16 08:52:55

Definitely downgrade.

scaryteacher Fri 23-Sep-16 09:33:28

Wouldn't some of that notice period (the length of which you would have known since you joined up), be terminal leave and resettlement? People get medical downgrades anyway, and if you have PVR'd, then it's a non issue to take the downgrade surely?

pinkiponk Fri 23-Sep-16 09:42:50

scary - the notice period has changed since I joined up (9 years ago) from 6 months to 1 year due to manning. Don't know if that's just in my service.

And you're right, I'm not due out till later but because of terminal leave and resettlement my last actual day is march.

I'm starting to realise it should be a non issue and I should just take it! I needed people outside of the situation to get me to see sense I think!
Thanks smile

pinkiponk Fri 23-Sep-16 09:43:54

And thanks all who've commented, this has helped massively smile

scaryteacher Fri 23-Sep-16 09:48:23

It was 18 months when dh joined in the 70s, and more than that when my Dad joined in the 50s!!!

Dh had a medical downgrade due to Type 2 diabetes, an RM Lt-Col friend has a medical downgrade, but is still in post, office based. Go for it, better to take the downgrade and get a good reference, than fail to do the job properly and feel you've let yourself and others down.

pinkiponk Fri 23-Sep-16 09:58:41

18 months?! That's harsh. Did he have a special skill? I'm not that specifically qualified so it's just the year for me!
I hadn't thought of that, actually I don't want to keep going and do a half arsed job because I feel so awful, I'd rather do a good job at my home unit.

MGFM Fri 23-Sep-16 10:25:38

If you are leaving then I would take the downgrade.

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